A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood
Print Friendly and PDF

Education policy has been in the news quite a bit lately. You may have seen the headlines, due to Betsy DeVos’ nomination to be Secretary of Education, about controversial topics such as voucher programs, charter schools, gun-free zones in schools, and the proper role of the federal government in determining educational policy across all states.

These are all critically important national and state issues. No question. How we solve these debates will impact the lives of millions of schoolchildren, as well as state and federal budgets, for years to come.

It’s also safe to say that there has never been an education secretary as controversial as Betsy DeVos.


Yet both her most ardent supporters and her fiercest critics agree that Secretary DeVos was nominated for one purpose: to shake up the educational status quo.

For right now, I will leave aside the questions of DeVos’ qualifications to lead our nation’s schools. I will also leave aside the controversial, political debates about education policy.

If I could speak to Secretary DeVos, here is what I would say to her, as the mom of two young children and a former teacher with a doctorate in development and educational policy: Our current system of educating our youngest kids is not working, and it absolutely does need a serious shakeup.

Policymakers are not using what we know – and learn more about each year, from new scientific research – about young kids’ brains and how they learn, develop, and thrive. For example, early childhood educators and experts – the ones who know and see young children’s development most closely – were not included in the writing of the Common Core standards for grades K-3.

Out of 135 people on the committees that wrote and reviewed these standards, now adopted by more than 40 states, none of them were K-3 teachers or early childhood professionals. Those standards have been criticized by hundreds of prominent educators, pediatricians, psychologists, and researchers (all early childhood specialists) for their development inappropriateness.

In our schools, we continue to set unrealistic goals for our youngest students. We harm young children when we give them educational experiences that don’t fit their stage of development or their learning needs.

In future debates about educational policy in a new administration, I hope that we don’t forget the littlest students.

Here’s what I hope every policymaker remembers about young children and how they learn

Earlier is not better

In today’s competitive world, it’s tempting to believe that because academic achievement can be so important for future adult success, it’s never too soon to start academic learning in young children. Sometimes it’s difficult to shake the notion that if you’re not giving your kid “an early start” with academic preschools, enrichment programs, and competitive sports, it’s your fault as a parent if your child is “left behind” by his peers.

Increasingly, our schools reflect that focus on academic rigor at an early age. Today’s kindergarten (and even preschool) is actually more like the first or second grade of a decade or two ago. One recent study concluded that “kindergartners are now under great pressure to meet inappropriate expectations, including academic standards that until recently were reserved for first grade.” Today, kindergarteners devote much more of their days to practicing reading and math skills, often with textbooks and worksheets, and less to recess, music, art, and gym.

Research suggests that an early start to academics is not what kids need to become successful, engaged learners. In fact, studies have shown that an early focus on formal instruction (instead of play-based learning) can have negative consequences for kids: more negative, long-term attitudes toward school, fewer attention skills, and more anxiety and stress.

In many countries that outperform the United States in international tests – such as Sweden and Finland – formal schooling does not begin until at least age seven.

Early readers have no advantage over late readers

The Common Core State Standards include more than 90 academic standards for kindergarten. The Standards include “ a strong expectation that by the end of kindergarten children should be reading basic books on their own with purpose and understanding.” They should also be able to use the conventions of English – capitalization, spelling, punctuation – correctly in their own writing.

However, research has shown that kids who are taught to read later, at age six or seven, can read just as well by fourth grade. On some measures, such as reading comprehension, they perform better than kids who are taught to read early.

Other things are just as important as academics

When a young child’s school day focuses on reading and other academic skills, other areas of development are neglected. The real focus of a child’s “work” during preschool, and kindergarten particularly, should be experimentation and play as well as “talking and listening,” rather than reading and writing, according to Erika Christakis, early childhood educator and author of “The Importance of Being Little”.

She states, “We forget how vital spontaneous, unstructured conversation is to young children’s understanding. By talking with adults, and one another, they pick up information. They learn how things work. They solve puzzles that trouble them.”

When that relationship-building and early exploration are sacrificed, kids might show earlier “school readiness” skills, such as the ability to recognize letters and numbers, but their enthusiasm for school and passion for learning eventually suffers. They often lack the language, emotional development, and socialization skills that earlier generations possessed.

Frequent movement, and not having to sit still for long periods, is crucial for young children’s learning and memory skills.

Play – not direct instruction – is how young children learn best

Direction instruction is a highly structured model of teaching in which teachers, often using scripted lessons, impart bits of knowledge and skills to kids.

Is that the way young kids learn best? According to Defending the Early Years, “children learn through playful, hands-on experiences with materials, the natural world, and engaging, caring adults.” Increasingly, early childhood educators and researchers are worried about how much time young children spend being taught through “direct instruction.”

In a pair of recent studies, young children participants were given a toy. One group of kids was told by a teacher how to use the toy. In another group, the children learned about what the toy did through exploration. Both groups of kids successfully learned the intended use of the toy, but the second group played longer with it, discovered additional uses for the toy, and displayed more curiosity than the children in the “direct instruction” group.

Other research has concluded that early formalized learning may actually harm future academic performance. For instance, one study found that “by the end of the fourth grade those who had received more didactic instruction earned significantly lower grades than those who had been allowed more opportunities to learn through play.”

Little kids do not develop at the same rate

A clear takeaway from new research on kids’ brains is that you should not try to rush young children’s development. Just as you wouldn’t try to force a 10-month-old to walk before she is ready, kids are not ready to read or do math at the same age. I was an early reader, but my son, now five, is not yet reading and shows no interest.

Recess (and frequent breaks) are non-negotiable for young children

The American Academy of Pediatrics consider breaks from academics so important that it issued a policy statement about it.

According to the statement, recess should never be withheld or cut because it “offers children cognitive, physical, emotional, and social benefits. It should be used as a complement to physical education classes, not a substitute, and whether it’s spent indoors or outdoors, recess should provide free, unstructured play or activity.”

Furthermore, they “conclude that minimizing or eliminating recess can negatively affect academic achievement, as growing evidence links recess to improved physical health, social skills, and cognitive development.”

As more and more elementary schools reduce or eliminate recess altogether, other countries integrate frequent breaks throughout the day. In Finland, since 1960, kids have been given 15-minute breaks each hour to keep them focused and engaged. In Japan, elementary kids also get a 10 to 15-minute break every hour.

Standardized testing is unreliable in children younger than eight

Standardized assessments do not make sense for young children.

Not only does it take time away from developmentally appropriate learning and can lead to harmful tracking and labeling, but kids are also not yet mature enough to understand complex instructions and to answer questions consistently. For instance, the results of a kindergarten test showed that the results had only a 50 percent chance of being accurate.

How we educate our youngest students should authentically help their development as full human beings, not their ability to take bubble tests, to sit still at a desk, or to complete a worksheet. I hope that all education policymakers, including Betsy DeVos, begin to pay greater attention to the science of how young children learn. Right now we are sacrificing too much play, joy, and imagination in the classrooms of our youngest kids for the sake of teaching isolated skills and facts.

Whether or not you think that Secretary DeVos is the right person for her new job, let’s all get behind “shaking up” the educational status quo for little kids.

The very best of Motherly — delivered when you need it most.

Subscribe for inspiration, empowering articles and expert tips to rock your best #momlife.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

Pop quiz, mama! How many different types of car seats are there? If you guessed three, you're partially correct. The three main types are rear-facing car seats, forward-facing car seats, and booster seats. But then there are a variety of styles as well: infant car seats, convertible seats, all-in-one seats, high-back booster seats, and backless boosters. If you're not totally overwhelmed yet, keep reading, we promise there's good stuff ahead.

There's no arguing that, in the scheme of your baby and child gear buying lifetime, purchasing a car seat is a big deal! Luckily, Walmart.com has everything you need to travel safely with your most precious cargo in the backseat. And right now, you can save big on top-rated car seats and boosters during Best of Baby Month, happening now through September 30 at Walmart.com.

As if that wasn't enough, Walmart will even take the carseat your kiddos have outgrown off your hands for you (and hook you up with a sweet perk, too). Between September 16 and 21, Walmart is partnering with TerraCycle to recycle used car seats. When you bring in an expired car seat or one your child no longer fits into to a participating Walmart store during the trade-in event, you'll receive a $30 gift card to spend on your little one in person or online. Put the money towards a brand new car seat or booster or other baby essentials on your list. To find a participating store check here: www.walmart.com/aboutbestofbabymonth

Ready to shop, mama? Here are the 9 best car seat deals happening this month.

Safety 1st Grow and Go Spring 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat


From rear-facing car seat to belt-positioning booster, Grow and Go Sprint's got you covered through childhood. Whether you choose the grey Silver Lake, Seafarer or pink Camelia color palette, you'll love how this model grows with your little one — not to mention how easy it is to clean. The machine-washable seat pad can be removed without fussing with the harness, and the dual cup holders for snacks and drinks can go straight into the dishwasher.

Price: $134 (regularly $149)


Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Bermuda


When your toddler is ready to face forward, this versatile car seat can be used as a five-point harness booster, a high-back booster, and a backless booster. Padded armrests, harness straps, and seat cushions provide a comfy ride, and the neutral gray seat pads reverse to turquoise for a stylish new look.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)


Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Olivia


Looking for something snazzy, mama? This black and hot pink car seat features a playful heart print on its reversible seat pad and soft harness straps. Best of all, with its 100-pound weight limit and three booster configurations, your big kid will get years of use out of this fashionable design.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)


Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat


This rear- and forward-facing car seat keeps kids safer, longer with an adjustable five-point harness that can accommodate children up to 65 lbs. To tighten the harness, simply twist the conveniently placed side knobs; the Infinite Slide Harness ensures an accurate fit every time. As for style, we're big fans of the cozy quilted design, which comes in two colorways: grey and magenta or grey and turquoise.

Price: $116 (regularly $149.99)


Disney Baby Light 'n Comfy 22 Luxe Infant Car Seat


Outfitted with an adorable pink-and-white polka dot Minnie Mouse infant insert, even the tiniest of travelers — as small as four pounds! — can journey comfortably and safely. This rear-facing design is lightweight, too; weighing less than 15 lbs, you can easily carry it in the crook of your arm when your hands are full (because chances are they will be).

Price: $67.49 (regularly $89.99)


Graco 4Ever 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat


We know it's hard to imagine your tiny newborn will ever hit 100 lbs, but one day it'll happen. And when it does, you'll appreciate not having to buy a new car seat if you start with this 4-in-1 design! Designed to fit kids up to 120 lbs, it transforms four ways, from a rear-facing car seat to a backless belt-positioning booster. With a 6-position recline and a one-hand adjust system for the harness and headrest, you can easily find the perfect fit for your growing child.

Price: $199.99 (regularly $269.99)


Graco SlimFit All-in-One Convertible Car Seat


With its unique space-saving design, this 3-in-1 car seat provides 10% more back seat space simply by rotating the dual cup holders. The InRight LATCH system makes installation quick and easy, and whether you're using it as a rear-facing car seat, a forward-facing car seat, or a belt-positioning booster, you can feel confident that your child's safe and comfortable thanks to Graco's Simply Safe Adjust Harness System.

Price: $149.99 (regularly $229.99)


Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Platinum XT Infant Car Seat


Making sure your infant car seat is secure can be tricky, but Graco makes it easy with its one-second LATCH attachment and hassle-free three-step installation using SnugLock technology. In addition to its safety features, what we really love about this rear-facing seat are all of the conveniences, including the ability to create a complete travel system with Click Connect Strollers and a Silent Shade Canopy that expands without waking up your sleeping passenger.

Price: $169.99 (regularly $249.99)


Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Elite Infant Car Seat


With just one click, you can know whether this rear-facing car seat has been installed properly. Then adjust the base four different ways and use the bubble level indicator to find the proper position. When you're out and about, the rotating canopy with window panel will keep baby protected from the sun while allowing you to keep your eye on him.

Price: $129.99 (regularly $219.99)


This article was sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

If I ever want to look alive before dropping my son off to school, there are two things I must put on before leaving the house: eyeliner and mascara. When using eyeliner, I typically use black liner on my top lid, a slightly lighter brown for my bottom lid, and then a nude liner for my water line. It works every time.

My mascara routine is a bit different. Because my natural lashes are thin and not the longest, I always opt for the darkest black I can find, and one that's lengthening and volumizing. For this reason, I was immediately drawn to It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara. The new mascara is developed in partnership with Drybar (the blow dry bar that specializes in just blowouts) and promises to deliver bold and voluminous lashes all day long. I was sold.

Could this really be the blowout my lashes have been waiting for? It turns out, it was much better than most volumizing formulas I've tried.

For starters, the wand is a great size—it's not too big or small, and it's easy to grip—just like my favorite Drybar round brush. As for the formula, it's super light and infused with biotin which helps lashes look stronger and healthier. I also love that it's buildable, and I didn't notice any clumps or flakes between coats.

The real test is that my lashes still looked great at dinnertime. I didn't have smudges or the dreaded raccoon eyes I always get after a long day at work. Surprisingly, the mascara actually stayed in place. To be fair, I haven't compared them with lash-extensions (which are my new go-to since having baby number two), but I'm sure it will hold up nicely.

Overall, I was very impressed with the level of length and fullness this mascara delivered. Indeed, this is the eyelash blowout my lashes have been waiting for. While it won't give you a few extra hours in bed, you'll at least look a little more awake, mama.

It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara

It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara

Here's how I apply IT Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara:

  1. Starting as close to lash line as possible (and looking down), align the brush against your top lashes. Gradually turn upwards, then wiggle the wand back and forth up and down your eyelashes.
  2. Repeat, if needed. Tip: Be sure to allow the mascara to dry between each coat.
  3. Using the same technique, apply mascara to your bottom lashes, brushing the wand down your eyelashes.
Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

You might also like:


Having children isn't always as easy as it looks on Instagram. There's so much more to motherhood than serene baby snuggles and matching outfits. But there's a reason we've fallen so deeply in love with motherhood: It's the most beautiful, chaotic ride.

Every single day, we sit back and wonder how something so hard can feel so rewarding. And Eva Mendes just managed to nail the reality of that with one quote.

Eva, who is a mama to daughters Esmerelda and Amada with Ryan Gosling, got real about the messy magic of motherhood in a recent interview.

"It's so fun and beautiful and maddening," the actress tells Access Daily. "It's so hard, of course. But it's like that feeling of…you end your day, you put them to bed and Ryan and I kind of look at each other like, 'We did it, we did it. We came out relatively unscathed.'"


Eva Mendes Admits Parenting Two Girls With Ryan Gosling Is 'Fun, Beautiful And Maddening' www.youtube.com

And just like that, moms all over the world feel seen. We've all been there: Struggling to get through the day (which, for the record is often every bit as fun as it is challenging), only to put those babies to sleep and collapse on the couch in sheer exhaustion. But, after you've caught your breath, you realize just how strong and capable you really are.

One thing Eva learned the hard way? That sleep regressions are very, very real...and they don't just come to an end after your baby's first few months. "I guess they go through a sleep regression, which nobody told me about until I looked it up," she says "I was like, 'Why isn't my 3-year-old sleeping?'"

But, at the end of the day, Eva loves her life as a mom—and the fact that she took a break from her Hollywood career to devote her days to raising her girls. "I'm so thankful I have the opportunity to be home with them," she says.

Thank you for keeping it real, Eva! Momming isn't easy, but it sure is worth it.

You might also like:


My labor and delivery was short and sweet. I started feeling contractions on Monday morning and by Tuesday night at 8:56 pm my handsome baby boy was born. Only 30 minutes of pushing. Afterward, I was still out of it, to be honest. I held him and did some skin to skin and handed him off to my husband, my mother held him next.

When he was in my mother's arms, I knew he was safe. I started to drift off, the epidural had me feeling drowsy and I had used up all my strength to push this 7 lb baby out. My son's eyes were open and then I guess he went to sleep too. My mother swayed him back and forth. The nurses were in and out, cleaning me up and checking in on us.


When yet another nurse came in, my mom said to her, "He wasn't latching because he wanted to sleep."

The nurse yelled, "He's not sleeping!"

The next 25 minutes happened in slow motion for me.

After the nurse said these words, she flung my son onto the little baby bed. I looked over and he looked a little blue. Then I heard the loud words of CODE PINK. In matters of seconds about 30 nursing staff descended into my room and crowded around my baby.

I couldn't even see what was happening. I tried to get out the bed but they wouldn't let me and after a couple of failed attempts one of the nurses look at me and said, "He's fine, he's breathing now."

Breathing now? He wasn't breathing before? Again, I tried to push my way to my baby, but once again I was told to not move. They had just performed CPR on my 30-minute old newborn and I couldn't understand what was happening even after a pediatrician tried to explain it to me.

I just started crying. He was fine in my stomach for 39 weeks and 6 days and now I bring him into this world and his heart nearly stops?

I was told he needed to go to the neonatal intensive care unit. I was confused, as I thought the NICU was only for preemies and my son was full term.

After what felt like an eternity we were finally allowed to see our son. My husband wheeled me there and we saw him in the corner alone. I saw the incubator and the wires, he's all bundled up.

The nurse explained all the beeping and showed me the heart rate monitor. He's doing fine. We go over the feeding schedule. I'm exhausted still. I stay with him until about 1 or 2 am. They all suggest I get some sleep. There's no bed in the NICU, so I head back to my room.

The next day was better, he doesn't have to be in the incubator anymore, but the wires remain. By that night or early the next morning, the wires in his nose come out and I try feeding him. I try pumping. It was painful.

He gets his first bath and he loves it. The nurse shampoos his hair (he had a lot!) and he seems so soothed. The nurse explains that because he's full term he doesn't need the same type of support in the NICU. She tells me my baby's strong and he'll be fine.

I look around. I see the other babies, the other moms. They could be there for weeks. And unlike me, the moms have to go home—without their baby.

Friday comes and by now he's done all his tests, blood work came back normal, all tubes have been removed and I get it. I get my going-home package. Finally. I get my instructions on doctor follow-ups and we finally get to go home.

You might also like:


There have been a lot of iconic entertainment magazine covers featuring pregnant women over the years. Who can forget Demi Moore's bare baby bump on Vanity Fair or Britney Spears' similar nude pose on Harper's Bazaar?

Pregnant women on a magazine covers is nothing new, but a visibly pregnant CEO on the cover of a business magazine, that's a first and it happened this week.

Inc. just put The Wing's CEO Audrey Gelman on the cover and this is a historic moment in publishing and business.

As Gelman told Today this week, "You can't be what you can't see, so I think it's so important for women to see that it's possible to run a fast-growing business and also to start a family."



She continued: "It's so important to sort of burst that bubble and to have new images of women who are thriving and working professionally while balancing motherhood … My hope is that women see this and again feel the confidence to take greater professional risks while also not shelving their dreams of becoming a mother and starting a family."

The Wing started in 2016 as a co-working space for women and has grown rapidly. As Inc. reports, The Wing has eight locations in the U.S. with plans for more American and international locations by 2020.

Putting Gelman on the cover was an important move by Inc. and Gelman's honesty about her early pregnancy panic ("I can't be pregnant. I have so much to do." she recalls thinking after her pregnancy test) should be applauded.

Gelman says pregnancy made her slow down physically, and that it was actually good for her company: "I had this realization: The way to make my team and my employees feel proud to work for me and for the company was actually not to pretend to be superhuman or totally unaffected by pregnancy."

We need this. We need CEOs to admit that they are human so that corporate leadership can see employees as humans, too. Humans need things like family leave and flexibility, especially when they start raising little humans.

There are a lot of iconic covers featuring pregnant women, but this one is different. She's wearing clothes and she's changing work culture.

You might also like:

Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.