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I have the same conversation with my daughter’s dentist every time we go in for her six-month check-up. It goes like this: He tells me to start saving for braces. I say “okay” followed by something mildly apologetic as I acknowledge her thumb-sucking habit. He tells me not to worry, she’ll stop eventually, all kids do, and don’t forget to floss.

I like my daughter’s dentist for many reasons – he’s a skilled technician, he’s kind, he has Saturday hours – but one of the biggest reasons is that he is the only person who never gives her (or me) a hard time about that fact that she still sucks her thumb.

That’s right, my daughter still sucks her thumb, and, yes, we are well aware she’s way too old to be doing so. We are also aware it’s unsanitary, unsightly, socially unacceptable, and causes dental malocclusion (crooked teeth), but as any parent of a die hard sucker knows, my daughter’s thumb has a powerful hold on her. It soothes like nothing else – magically quashing fears, quelling anxiety, and bringing instantaneous comfort. Since the fateful day we lost the only pacifier she took to, my daughter has been figuratively and literally attached to her thumb.

Luckily for her she is a Type D thumb sucker, meaning only the anterior part of her thumb is in her mouth and she does not suck aggressively, therefore her buccinator muscle (responsible for suckling) isn’t overdeveloped to the point of structurally altering the shape of her palate, oral cavity, or dentition. In short, if you’re going to have a thumb sucker, you want a Type D.

Most babies suck their thumbs, a finger, or even a toe as part of the rooting and sucking reflexes associated with breastfeeding. In fact, ultrasounds reveal human and other primate fetuses sucking their thumbs in the womb as early as 15 weeks old, suggesting the behavior may be innate. Studies show the percentage of children who suck their thumbs tapers off gradually as they develop from infancy to age five, whereupon it drops significantly. Roughly nine percent of children eight years old or older suck their thumbs, and less than two percent continue the habit past age 12. So while my daughter, who is 11, isn’t exactly an anomaly, she is in a small minority.

Our culture accepts that young kids will suck their thumbs. We even find it endearing. But after a certain age it violates social mores and becomes increasingly unacceptable. The American Dental Association recommends parents take proactive measures to help kids break the habit once their permanent teeth start to erupt, due to potential oral health and teeth alignment complications. The American Academy of Pediatrics lists exposure to communicable diseases and social stigmatization as deterrents. Search the internet and you will find a surplus of articles on the many ways to “encourage” your child to quit the thumb habit, each one warning against shaming but, at the same time, insisting you put an end to it before it’s too late. (Too late for what, they never say.) None of this, though, outweighs my instinct that my daughter will be fine whenever she quits. Or if she quits.

For years, well-meaning family members and friends have tactfully offered their opinions on thumb sucking. I politely listen and nod, agreeing with them in a vague, non-committal way, but I’ve never taken any of the measures they’ve suggested to cure her of the habit – the apparatuses, the mitts, coating her thumb with bad tasting solutions – or, really, any measures at all. I don’t want her to be teased or chastised, and I respect the experts who warn of damage to her bite and teeth, but I simply cannot muster the concern they share.

I’ve researched the long-term effects of thumb sucking, curious if such an oral fixation could be a precursor to other oral habits, like smoking or overeating. I could not find any documented correlation. There are, however, plenty of theories about why some kids get hooked and others do not. They range from food shortages and chronic hunger to working mothers, siblings, and birth order, yet they yield nothing conclusive in regards to my daughter. Obviously it is a coping mechanism and obviously its psychological purpose supplants its biological one. As one tends to do in situations like these – where both the outcome and origin is unclear – I gravitate toward the expertise of people who tell me what I want to hear, like our dentist.

I can’t help but worry my daughter’s thumb sucking is my fault, that she’s inherited my anxiety, compulsiveness, or neurosis. But what does it matter? I know my daughter on a molecular level. I’ve seen her race to the car after school, knowing exactly what was coming next: She slumps into the front seat, unable to hold it together any longer, and cries from the sheer relief of release. I’ve watched the despair of her day – which is nothing more than ordinary stuff, really – choke her ability to tell me what’s wrong. I can confirm, in that moment, nothing consoles her like that thumb. To quarantine a salve like this would be deeply damaging, so we save for braces instead.

Who said motherhood doesn't come with a manual?

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Whether you're filling out your own registry or shopping for a soon-to-be-mama in your life, it can be hard to narrow down what exactly new moms need (versus what will just end up cluttering the nursery). That's why we paired up with the baby gear experts at Pottery Barn Kids to create a registry guide featuring everything from the gear you'll use over and over to the perfect gifts under $50.

Check out the picks below, and happy shopping (and registering)!


These five gift ideas are designed to make #momlife easier while solving some of the most common parenting dilemmas.

1. Doona All-In-One Infant Car Seat/Stroller

One of the first things you learn when you become a mom? Those infant car seats are heavy. Which is what makes the Doona All-In-One Infant Car Seat/Stroller so genius. It's the world's first completely integrated mobility solution, quickly transforming from safe car seat to functional stroller without any extra parts. Simply pop out the wheels, pull up the handle bar, and you're ready to roll.

Doona All-in-one Infant Car Seat / Stroller, $499



Even the most utilitarian gift feels a little more special with some personalization. Here are some of our favorite options that can be customized with baby's name or monogram.

1. Nursery Blankets

You'll never forget the blanket you bring your newborn home in. And with Pottery Barn Kids' assortment of blankets, there's a wrap to suit every new mama's style. Choose from fuzzy neutral patterns or stylish printed options, and add baby's name for an extra personal touch.

Nursery Blankets, Starting at $39.50



Save money and space by gifting items that will last long after baby's first year. These clever gift items will have mama saying "thank you!" for years to come.

1. west elm x pbk Mid-Century Convertible Crib

A convertible crib is an investment in years of sweet dreams. We love this mid-century-style option made from sustainably sourced wood with child-safe, water-based finishes. When your baby outgrows their crib (sniff!), it easily converts into a toddler bed with the matching conversion kit.

west elm x pbk Mid-Century Convertible Crib, $399



Sometimes the littlest gifts mean the most. Here are our favorite gifts under $50 they'll be sure to cherish.

1. west elm x pbk Dot Muslin Swaddle Set

When you're raising a newborn, you can never have too many swaddles. Perfect for naptime, burp cloths, stroller covers, and spontaneous play mats, a muslin swaddle will always come in handy. And we especially love this neutral patterned collection in platinum, nightshade, and peacock.

west elm x pbk Dot Muslin Swaddle Set, $45.50


Learn more and explore all Pottery Barn Kids' registry must-haves here.

In the moments after we give birth, we desperately want to hear our baby cry. In the middle of the night a few months later it's no longer exactly music to our ears, but those cries aren't just telling us that baby needs a night feeding: They're also giving us a hint at what our children may sound like as kindergarteners, and adults.

New research published in the journal Biology Letters suggests the pitch of a 4-month-old's cry predicts the pitch they'll use to ask for more cookies at age five and maybe even later on as adults.

The study saw 2 to 5-month olds recorded while crying. Five years later, the researchers hit record again and chatted with the now speaking children. Their findings, combined with previous work on the subject, suggest it's possible to figure out what a baby's voice will sound like later in life, and that the pitch of our adult voices may be traceable back to the time we spend in utero. Further studies are needed, but scientists are very interested in how factors before birth can impact decades later.

"In utero, you have a lot of different things that can alter and impact your life — not only as a baby, but also at an adult stage," one of the authors of the study, Nicolas Mathevon, told the New York Times.

The New York Times also spoke with Carolyn Hodges, an assistant professor of anthropology at Boston University who was not involved in the study. According to Hodges, while voice pitch may not seem like a big deal, it impacts how we perceive people in very real ways.

Voice pitch is a factor in how attractive we think people are, how trustworthy. But why we find certain pitches more or less appealing isn't known. "There aren't many studies that address these questions, so that makes this research especially intriguing," Hodges said, adding that it "suggests that individual differences in voice pitch may have their origins very, very early in development."

So the pitch of that midnight cry may have been determined months ago, and it may determine part of your child's future, too. There are still so many things we don't know, but as parents we do know one thing: Our babies cries (as much as we don't want to hear them all the time) really are something special.

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They say there's no use in crying over it, but for pumping mamas, spilled milk is a major upset.

When you're working so hard to make sure your baby has breast milk, you don't want to lose a drop, and Chrissy Teigen knows this all too well.

The mom of two posted a video to social media Wednesday showing her efforts to rescue breastmilk from a tabletop. She used various utensils and a syringe to try to get the milk back in the bottle.

"I spilled my breastmilk and this is how important it is in this house," she says while suctioning up milk with what appears to be a baster.

In a follow-up video Teigen continues to try to rescue the spilled milk.

"We're trying," she says as she suctions up a drop or two. "I got some."

Teigen is currently breastfeeding baby Miles, her son with husband John Legend, and has been very public about the fact that she pumps a lot as a working mom.

She's also been open about the fact that milk supply has always been an issue for her, not just with Miles but with Luna, too.

"I actually loved [pumping] because I'm a collector of things, and so when I found out I could pump I [did it] so much because I knew the more you pumped, the more milk you'd make," she told POPSUGAR back in March. "So I loved collecting my breast milk and seeing how much I could get, even if it was very, very little."

Like a lot of moms, Teigen did struggle emotionally when a pump session wouldn't get her the ounces she wanted.

"I wasn't producing a lot of milk, and it was frustrating. When you're frustrated, [it can also make you] not produce that much."

Research backs her up. Stress has been linked to lower milk production. Because of that, she's trying to stay positive this time around, but captioned her video post "EVERY DROP COUNTS IN THIS HOUSE" because, well, they do.

So many mothers can relate. Have you ever tried to save your breastmilk?

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What is it about networking that's just kind of...awful? Typically inconvenient and often awkward, formal networking events rarely yield the results most women (and especially mamas) are looking for.

Whether you're reentering the workforce post-baby leave or simply looking to make a complicated career switch as a busy mom (or just struggling to juggle play dates and professional meetings), making the right connections is often a hurdle that's difficult to surmount. And more and more often, networking comes up short in providing what moms really need.

When time is truly at a premium—a session swapping business cards can be hard to prioritize. Shapr wants to change all that.

Designed with busy people in mind, Shapr is an app with an algorithm that uses tagged interests, location, and professional experience to match you with 10-15 inspiring professional connections a day. You swipe to indicate interest in networking with any of them, and if the interest is mutual, you're connected. (But don't worry, that's where the similarities to that dating app end.)

It makes it easier to connect with the right people.

From there, you can chat, video conference, and even meet in person with potential mentors, partners, and investors while growing your real-life network. No more wasting hours trying to pick someone's brain only to discover they don't have the right experience you need. And no more awkward, stilted small talk—even suggests a few preset icebreakers to help get the conversation rolling more quickly.

The best part? You could do virtually all your connecting from your couch post-bedtime.

It simplifies switching careers or industries.

Sysamone Phaphone is a real mom who was fed up with traditional networking options. When she quit her full-time job in healthcare to pursue founding a startup, she quickly realized that in-person networking events weren't only failing to connect her to the right people, they were also difficult for a single mom of two to even attend. "I was complaining to a friend that I was so tired and didn't know how I was going to keep doing it this way when she recommended the Shapr app," Phaphone says. "I tried it right there at dinner and started swiping. [Later], in my pajamas, I got my first connection."

From there, Phaphone was hooked. Her network suddenly exploded with developers, potential partners she could work with, and even people to hire for the roles she needed. She was also able to connect with and empower other women in tech. Now, checking in with Shapr connections is just part of her routine. "I look for connections after drop-off at school and on my commute into the city," she says. "Then after bedtime is done, I go on to check if there is anyone I've connected with."

It helps you find a mentor—no matter where they live.

Another common roadblock Shapr removes? Location. While you probably wouldn't fly to LA from New York for a networking event, the Shapr app lets you connect and chat with the person who best meets your needs—regardless of where they're based. Even better for parents, the "mom penalty" many women contend with when trying to get back into the workforce doesn't exist on Shapr—if you have the right experience, the connections will still come.

To connect, simply create your account, enter up to ten hashtags you want to follow (either industry related like #film or #tech or by person you're seeking, such as #developer or #uxui), preset what you're looking for (investors, collaborators, etc.), and indicate how you prefer to meet. To connect with more people at once, Shapr also has community groups within the app around interest topics that you can join. And even though the connection begins in the digital space, it often results in the in-person experiences mamas crave.

"I wish I could encourage more moms and dads to use it because it has been a lifesaver for me," Phaphone says. "It empowered my career and career choices, and it provides so much convenience. I can put my kids to bed and not go to an event, but still meet 20 people in a night."

For women looking to grow their business, position, or simply achieve a little self-growth, Shapr is changing the way we connect. This powerful new app could change everything, mama. Download it today to get started.

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