A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood

First of all, I can already answer the question, “Will I be a mother with gray hair?” because I already am. I’m a mom with white hairs. There are enough now that although I can hide them when my hair is down, I can’t when it is up.

For some people, asking a question like this is of no consequence, just evidence of vanity and the refusal to acknowledge the passing of time, the beauty of aging, and the wonder of the body. For other people, this question can be answered with a command: dye your hair, you idiot. I don’t know what I want to do yet and I think about it every day.

My mother’s grandmother didn’t dye her hair and when she became a grandmother, she looked like a woman who was not trying to disguise her age. Growing up, we had a few photos hanging on our walls of ancient grandmothers on both sides of the family, none of whom seemed to give a shit about whether they looked their age or whether they should smile for the photographer. (They didn’t.)

It’s refreshing to think of them now with their placid  – and in one case dour – expressions and their simple blouses. The fact that they were sitting down alone when they were photographed, not showing off a grandchild or grinning on command, is bracing.

But my grandmothers did dye their hair, well into their late seventies, and shopped at the Estee Lauder makeup counter. They sometimes showed lipstick on their teeth when smiling for pictures. I’ve certainly never seen anything but seamlessly colored hair on either of my son’s grandmothers’ heads.

I live in Park Slope, which means a lot of different things to a lot of different people, but I do find myself comforted to see slivers of white dusting the hair of other mothers of young children or to see entirely gray heads belonging to moms less than a decade older than I am.

Reading this, it might sound fairly apparent to you that I would like to let my hair go gray, as they say, and I’m pretty sure that’s true. Hair coloring is expensive and time-consuming and, as someone who gets exhausted by more than two minutes of blow-drying, sounds like a lot of work.

But the tricky part is, I don’t just write; I’m also a sometimes actor who sometimes auditions for commercials. Because I still look like I’m in my late (real late) twenties, gray hair doesn’t fit me yet and it doesn’t match the kinds of ads I read copy for. So maybe there’s my answer, maybe professional necessity ought to dictate my aesthetic choices for the time being. And maybe it will, as the strands without color slowly outnumber the dark ones.

Actually, let’s hold on a second. If studies actually show that by 30 years old, gray hairs are likely appearing on your scalp only to multiply as the years go on (depending on your country of origin), why shouldn’t we see people my age in commercials with wisps of gray in their hair? Why must we so quickly and frantically cover up the gray?

A friend of mine told me that even women who let their hair go gray or white still get salon treatments to make it shiny because hair with no pigment doesn’t look as pretty as the hair of our youth. Wait, really? Isn’t that just an idea we – cough, cough, hair color companies – have about how we should look as we get older?

Being young is great and also terrible, and so is growing up and getting older, but in different ways. I’m still so green on my own aging journey, so what do I know about how I’ll feel about my looks in 10 or 20 years. All I know is that right now, I don’t feel like dyeing my hair. I don’t feel like trying to look the way I did five years ago. I don’t feel like pretending I’m not 34 years old. I know I am so, so lucky to be 34 years old and to have lived this long. There are plenty of women who have not.

So maybe soon you’ll see someone like me on your television, handing a yogurt to her kid or rolling her eyes about somebody’s disaster of a room. Or maybe you’ll look in the mirror tomorrow and see a gray hair and instead of saying, “ugh,” you, like Frances McDormand, will remind yourself that it is just part of the map of your own wonderful, peculiar, beautiful life so far.

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Jessica Simpson celebrated her baby shower this weekend (after getting a cupping treatment for her very swollen pregnancy feet) and her theme and IG captions have fans thinking this was not just a shower, but a baby name announcement as well.

Simpson (who is expecting her third child with former NFL player Eric Johnson) captioned two photos of her shower as "💚 Birdie's Nest 💚". The photographs show Simpson and her family standing under a neon sign spelling out the same thing.

While Simpson didn't explicitly state that she was naming her child Birdie, the numerous references to the name in her shower photos and IG stories have the internet convinced that she's picking the same name Busy Philips chose for her now 10-year-old daughter.

The name Birdie isn't in the top 1000 baby names according to the Social Security Administration, but It has been seeing a resurgence in recent years, according to name nerds and trend watchers.

"Birdie feels like a sassy but sweet, down-to-earth yet unusual name," Pamela Redmond Satran of Nameberry told Town and Country back in 2017. "It's also just old enough to be right on time."

Simpson's older kids are called Maxwell and Ace, which both have a vintage feel, so if Birdie really is her choice, the three old-school names make a nice sibling set.

Whether Birdie is the official name or just a cute nickname Simpson is playing around with, we get the appeal and bet she can't wait for her little one to arrive (and her feet to go back to normal!)

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Mamas, if you hire a cleaning service to tackle the toddler fingerprints on your windows, or shop at the neighborhood grocery store even when the deals are better across town, don't feel guilty. A new study by the University of British Columbia and Harvard Business School shows money buys happiness if it's used to give you more time. And that, in turn could be better for the whole family.

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As if we needed another reason to shop at Target, our favorite store is offering some great deals for mamas who need products for baby. Mom life can be expensive and we love any chance at saving a few bucks. If you need to stock up on baby care items, like diapers and wipes, now is the time.

Right now, if you spend $100 on select diapers, wipes, formula, you'll get a $20 gift card with pickup or Target Restock. Other purchases will get you $5 gift cards during this promotion:

  • $20 gift card when you spend $100 or more on select diapers, wipes, formula, and food items using in store Order Pickup, Drive Up or Target Restock
  • $5 gift card when you buy 3 select beauty care items
  • $5 gift card when you buy 2 select household essentials items using in store Order Pickup, Drive Up or Target Restock
  • $5 gift card when you buy 2 select Iams, Pedigree, Crave & Nutro dog and cat food or Fresh Step cat litter items using in store Order Pickup
  • $5 gift card when you buy 3 select feminine care items using in store Order Pickup, Drive Up or Target Restock

All of these promotions will only run through 11:59 pm PT on Saturday, January 19, 2019 so make sure to stock up before they're gone!

Because the deals only apply to select products and certain colors, just be sure to read the fine print before checking out.

Target's website notes the "offer is valid using in store Order Pickup, Drive Up or Target Restock when available".

The gift cards will be delivered after you have picked up your order or your Target Restock order has shipped.

We won't tell anyone if you use those gift cards exclusively for yourself. 😉 So, get to shopping, mama!

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