This photographer's 'anti mom-shaming' pics go viral

They're sparking important conversations about judgment in parenting spaces.

This photographer's 'anti mom-shaming' pics go viral

Abbie Fox is a busy mom of a three and the owner of Foxy Photography. She's a passionate parent and an artist who tells stories from behind the lens, and now, she's using her medium to bring attention to a topic that so many mothers have stories about: mom-shaming.

Fox uploaded a series of portraits of children (her own three—8-year-old Maverick, 6-year-old Georgia, and Millie, who is 7 months—and clients' kids) posed with signs spelling out messages about "hot button" issues moms are often shamed for, like sleeping, feeding, and the decision to work full-time.

The photo series, which has now gone viral, was a passion project for Fox, who knows how it feels to be judged by others when you're just trying to do your best as a parent.


"I was shamed for a lot of things, especially the feeding part," Fox tells Motherly over Facebook Messenger, explaining that when she was a first time mom her oldest, Maverick, had a hard time latching to nurse. For six weeks the family struggled, seeing doctors, nurses and specialists, and Fox cried herself to sleep at night.

"I was being told that I wasn't a good mother [unless] I could breastfeed him. And this was actually coming from people I thought were my friends," she explains. Fox had more success breastfeeding her next child, and nursed for three months, but it seemed there was always something else for people to be judgmental about.

"I also got shamed for allowing my kids to watch TV at a young age, I got shamed for being a working mom and then when I became a stay-at-home mom, just running this business [I] got shamed for that as well," she says.

Fox's children: 8-year-old Maverick, 6-year-old Georgia, and baby Millie

So the photography series, "Anti Mommy Shamers Unite" was born out of the frustration of being shamed for her parenting decisions when (like all of us mamas) Fox is doing her best, and doing what is right for her family in her circumstances. She posed her three kids with a sign noting that they don't often eat dinner as a family—something Fox has taken flack for but refuses to feel bad about.

Another photo of Fox's oldest is sparking perhaps the most controversy of the 37 portraits. In this one, Maverick poses with a sign reading: "My mom used the Cry It Out method for sleep training."

Fox believes parents should be able to talk about different approaches to parenting without putting each other down. But in training her camera's lens on mom-shaming, Fox has found herself in the eye of a major shame storm.

"I've actually been getting nasty comments, Facebook messages, and emails that I am promoting child abuse by having that picture," says Fox, who isn't suggesting that CIO is for every family, just that it worked for hers. She's supportive of whatever way parents choose to deal with sleep in their own homes, as is evident in some of the photos she captured of her clients.

Unfortunately, Fox tells Motherly her clients have been dealing with some nasty messages as well, due to the messages in their children's portraits.

Shauntelle Yount and her son participated in the photo shoot because she was always told that co-sleeping was some horrible thing, but it was what worked for her family.

"My son was 9 weeks early and had many problems. After he came home from the NICU I decided co-sleeping worked for the both of us," Young writes.

"I stayed awake for days just to make sure he wasn't going to stop breathing. Co-sleeping let us both get the rest we needed and if there was a problem I was right there to fix it. As mother's we need to stop placing shame and start standing up for each other."

Johana Decker's kids posed with signs saying that their mother used a safety leash on her toddler and doesn't stop tantrums. Together, the girls posed with another sign about their births, a choice many moms are shamed over.

"We decided for 2 elective c-sections because we were impatient to see how long labor was going to take, didn't want any disturbance to the lady bits and [were] maybe a tad bit scared of labor so major surgery seemed a better choice.............TWICE!! 🤷♀️🤷♀️," Decker wrote.

She continues: "My oldest would run away from me to explore the world that the only way I could turn my back on her to grab my keys, my purse, my mind etc was to leash her up."

Sara Martinez is another mother who feels birth decisions should not be judged.

"My parenting choices are my own. I don't expect others to follow me and I don't want to be expected to follow others. I'm an over thinker and take a lot of time to make decisions and research information when it's needed and then I make the best choices for my family based off of that. I believe other parents make choices that are best for their family as well. If it has no impact on anyone outside of my home, it shouldn't be judged or up for debate by others. My kids are happy, healthy, well cared for, and we are doing everything we can to live our best lives possible!" she writes.

Lakilah Bailey made a different birth choice, one that was right for her and her daughter but judged by others.

"I personally was shamed for several choices that i have made over the years. The most controversial one was my choice to have a home birth. Friends and family would call me crazy, tell me I was a hippie, say i didn't care about my child's safety, etc. At the end of the day, I knew it was the right decision for me. However, I did wish I had more support and less shaming during such a joyful time in my life. People tend to shame others because of their own lack of knowledge. As a mother, I have learned that we are all out here doing the best we can for our little ones. No mother deserves to be shamed for doing what she believes is the best for her child," she explains.

A lot of mothers feel judgment over not giving their child breastmilk, but some are judged and shamed even when they do.

Abby John exclusively pumped for her baby, but found a lot of people were critical of her decision not to nurse.

"It was super important to me personally to give him my milk at least for his first year," John writes. "I was having such a difficult time getting Carson to latch that this was the next best thing so that he could still have it. People told me it wouldn't be the same type of bond but Carson and I have an amazing connection and I am so happy that I was able to provide him with this."

Whitney Rae Hoskin says she wanted to participate in this shoot because after she had her daughter there were people who "couldn't believe that I was working and not taking care of my baby," she writes.

Hoskin continues: "My husband and I made the decision that we were both going to continue with our careers and have our good friend be Nora's babysitter. This has been such a blessing for us because Nora gets to interact with other children around her age and that greatly helps with social development and motor skill development."

She says it is "important for people to know that we as parents are making choices for our children that are good for us and that work for our family and our situation."

"Let's face it, parenting is already hard," she explains. "The judgment of others around you shouldn't have to contribute to the craziness we already face."

Desiree Deittrick Perdichizzi's boys posed with signs about hot topic issues like ADHD and essential oils.

She says "being a parent, a mother specifically, is so hard and even more so with endless judgment or shaming that goes on."

"And I feel that, mother's specifically, need that support which can bring a feeling of peace to their lives instead of the fear, doubt, insecurity or shame that the judgment fuels. We (mothers) question and judge ourselves enough as it is. We are our own toughest critic. We don't need to be told what we chose or what we do is wrong or how we should have done it better - we need to be told and reassured that we are doing ok and that we are enough," she writes.

No matter how you feed your baby, how you put them to sleep, whether your baby watches TV or has never looked at a screen, we can all agree that we are trying. One mom's best may look different from another's, but it's her life, her child and her choices. And those choices (while they may not be the ones we would make) are made from a place of motherly love.

That's what Fox sees when looking through her camera, and that's what she wants us to see when we look in the mirror.

You're doing your best, Mama, and there's no shame in that.

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The HATCH Mama collection is everything your pregnant body needs right now

Their oil is the only thing that stopped my belly from itching as it grew bigger.

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Let me start by saying I'm not a fan of moisturizing. I hate being wet and sticky and after applying product to my body, I have to stand around awkwardly until I'm fully air-dried—a practice that is not compatible with having three kids under the age of 3. However, as someone who has carried three children in her body, I also know how much your belly needs hydration as the baby grows.

This was especially true with my second pregnancy. My belly popped way sooner (a thing that happens with subsequent pregnancies) and on top of that, I was carrying twins, which meant I became super pregnant super fast. My belly was itching constantly from the skin stretching (I checked with my doctor to make sure I didn't have Cholestasis) and there was no scratching in the world that could ease my discomfort. My doula recommended the HATCH Mama belly oil and changed my life. The oil is nourishing—but more important to me, quick-drying—so I could apply it all over my planet-sized twin belly and get dressed immediately after without having my clothes ruined nor stuck to my body. Because of how much I loved the oil, I tested other products, and let me tell you, they're all equally amazing.

Curious about the HATCH Mama collection? All of their products are non-toxic and mama-safe, designed to help pregnant people overcome the challenges unique to pregnancy. As their website claims, "from stretch marks to thinning hair, to sleepless nights, we're helping you tackle every prenatal and postnatal beauty issue head-on so you can continue to feel like the best version of you." I'm here for all of this. For the entire Hatch Beauty collection click here.


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Nipple + lip ointment 

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This article was originally published in March 2021. It has been updated.

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Motherly created the flexible online birth class moms need

The Motherly Birth Class is completely online, which means you can take the class at your own pace.

Taking a birth class is a pregnancy milestone. Whether you've been excited to take a birth class for a long time or have just recently decided that you wanted to take one, sitting down for that first lesson feels big—spoiler alert, this is really happening! But finding time for a birth class isn't as easy as it would seem.

We know new parents are busy (hello, understatement of the year). Between diaper changes, pediatrician appointments, healing from birth and the general adjustment to #newparentlife, the days can fill up quickly. But a lot of people are caught off guard by how busy pregnancy can be, too! That first trimester is so often full of symptoms—like nausea and fatigue—that can make previously easy or simple tasks exhausting. The second trimester begins and (usually) we start to feel better. But then our days get filled with planning out baby registries and deciding on questions like, "Where will this tiny new human sleep?" And before you know it, it's the third trimester—and, well, then you're in the home stretch. Plus there are so many appointments!

All this to say that we get how busy you are—and how hard that might make it to fit in a birth class.

And that's why we created The Motherly Birth Class. The Motherly Birth Class is completely online, which means you can take the class at your own pace.


Think you'll want to watch each lesson a few times over? Great!

Due date's next week and you need the option to take a birth class very quickly? No problem!

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Taught by Certified Nurse-Midwife Diana Spalding (who also wrote "The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama"), this class is broken into 12 lessons—and you get to control how and when you watch them. We'll teach you about what your (amazing) body is up to in labor, how to decide when it's time to head to the hospital or birth center (or when to call your home birth midwife), what your options are for coping with pain and so much more.

When you sign up for The Motherly Birth Class, you'll get access to a downloadable workbook and meditations. Plus, you'll be invited to join our supportive private online community (where you can chat with the class instructor!)

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Pregnancy is wonderful—but it's a lot. You deserve a birth class that works for you and empowers you to have your best birth. Because vaginal or Cesarean, unmedicated or medication, birth is incredible. And you are the star of it all.

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Sign up for The Motherly Birth Class today!

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Take our completely digital birth class from the comfort of your living room. We'll help you have your best birth—because you deserve it.

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14 toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

Keeping kids entertained is a battle for all seasons. When it's warm and sunny, the options seem endless. Get them outside and get them moving. When it's cold or rainy, it gets a little tricker.

So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of the best toys for toddlers and kids that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, many are Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these indoor outdoor toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.


Secret Agent play set

Plan-Toys-Secret-agent-play-set

This set has everything your little secret agent needs to solve whatever case they might encounter: an ID badge, finger scanner, walkie-talkie handset, L-shaped scale and coloring comic (a printable file is also available for online download) along with a handy belt to carry it all along. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Stepping Stones

Stepping-stones

Kiddos can jump, stretch, climb and balance with these non-slip stepping stones. The 20-piece set can be arranged in countless configurations to create obstacle courses, games or whatever they can dream up.

$99.99

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Sensory play set

kidoozie-sand-and-splash-activity-table

Filled with sand or water, this compact-sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$19.95

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Foam pogo stick

Flybar-my-first-foam-pogo-stick

Designed for ages 3 and up, My First Flybar offers kiddos who are too young for a pogo stick a frustration-free way to get their jump on. The wide foam base and stretchy bungee cord "stick" is sturdy enough to withstand indoor and outdoor use and makes a super fun addition to driveway obstacle courses and backyard races. Full disclosure—it squeaks when they bounce, but don't let that be a deterrent. One clever reviewer noted that with a pair of needle-nose pliers, you can surgically remove that sucker without damaging the base.

$16.99

Dumptruck 

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Whether they're digging up sand in the backyard or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? It's made from recycled plastic milk cartons.

$22

Hopper ball

Hopper ball

Burn off all that extra energy hippity hopping across the lawn or the living room! This hopper ball is one of the top rated versions on Amazon as it's thicker and more durable than most. It also comes with a hand pump to make inflation quick and easy.

$14.99

Pull-along ducks

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There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$16.99

Rocking chair seesaw

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This built-to-last rocking seesaw is a fun way to get the wiggles out in the grass or in the playroom. The sturdy design can support up to 77 pounds, so even older kiddos can get in on the action.

$79.99

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$79.99

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

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Extended breastfeeding just happened for me—and I'm in no rush to end it

My son is two and a half and still nursing, and it's what makes sense for us.

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When I became pregnant with my first child, I assumed that I would breastfeed. I also assumed that I would pump and give bottles. I even had all the bottles, a bottle warmer, and a bottle drying rack all ready to go. I made sure I got my pump before the baby came, so I was ready. But then, I actually tried pumping a couple of times and hated it. It was tedious, time-consuming, and not as effective, so nursing was the standard between my two children. It came naturally for me, and I found it the easier of the two options since I stayed home with them anyway. I was always there when they needed it.

I was able to breastfeed my first until she was two and a half, at which point, I was seven months pregnant with her brother. Between the hormones, being touched out, and being uncomfortable, I decided to fully wean her. It had been coming for some time because the clock was ticking on getting her to sleep on her own before the new baby came since we had been co-sleeping up to this point.

I cut night feedings first, moved her to her own bed, and then weaned her completely as I went along in my pregnancy. She still wanted to nurse to sleep, but I had to stop eventually because I was so uncomfortable. My body and brain could not take it anymore, but I'm proud I made it that far with her and that I nursed that far into pregnancy.

When my second child came around, my son, breastfeeding was not only easier, but I found myself here: extended breastfeeding.


He recently passed two and a half, which is where my daughter stopped, and he is still co-sleeping. He still nurses quite a bit, because his tummy hurts because of constipation issues. He still uses it to soothe and help him go back to sleep at night. He's getting too big to stay in our bed much longer, but I'm in no rush to wean him completely until he's ready.

Being able to stay home with them has definitely fostered the breastfeeding relationship. Cuddling is a huge part of it, too, and I'll continue to breastfeed until it makes sense to stop.

While my husband doesn't always agree with that philosophy and tells him that he's a big boy and can be done having milk, it's ultimately not up to him. I told my son that we would work through it together.

It is still an emotional connection thing, and at the same time, it still has benefits for him. He's still getting nutrients especially designed for him. He's still getting supplemental nutrition while he doesn't want to eat as much otherwise if his stomach is hurting.

My body has been doing this for a long time. I'm used to it. While I get touched out some days, I also know how helpful breastfeeding still is to help him settle down and how much he still appreciates it. I don't feel the need to cut him off quickly—both for his sake and mine.

I'm also painfully aware that this is probably my last baby. My breastfeeding journey, over five years in the making, will soon be over. As long as he is still getting the benefits and I'm not stressed over it, I'll let it continue on a limited basis. I know it will end soon—it has to. He will be growing up and entering the next stage before I know it. But until then, I'm going to cuddle my baby boy a bit longer. I'm going to let him nurse at certain times and in certain situations.

I never intended to do extended breastfeeding with either of them, but it just happened naturally. And that's okay. You need to do what makes the most sense and do what your intuition tells you is right for your family.

Parenting