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13 products to help you achieve your new year’s resolutions, mama

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Ah, New Year's resolutions... everything sounds so promising in January, doesn't it? And then real life creeps in.

Your preschooler gifts you with the stomach bug; you can't remember the last time you washed your hair; you've been late to work every morning in the last week because your toddler loses his mind at daycare drop-off. Making homemade smoothies every morning chock full of fresh kale and bee pollen isn't sounding like such a great idea now, huh?

Cut yourself a break, mama. This year we're making real resolutions for real moms. And we're showing you the best products that will help get you there.

1. Get your photos off your phone 🤳

Our phones allow us to capture the moments like never before—but sometimes, we miss the feeling, and the nostalgia, of reflecting on memories with an actual photo in-hand. Artifact Uprising makes it so easy to upload and order photos, and their assorted print sizes and clean, simple aesthetics will make all your memories truly shine.

Artifact Uprising Square Prints set, from $8.00

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2. Exercise your mind 📚

If you used to love sitting down and devouring a book, make it a point to get back to that this year. While you may not be able to actually sit down with some peace and quiet, you can listen to some of the latest bestsellers. We love turning on Audible while we're doing laundry, when the kids or napping, and during commutes.

Use our link below to enjoy a 30-day free trial and two free audiobooks. We suggest starting with One Day in December or Becoming.

Audible, Amazon, free trial

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3. Organize your memories 💜 

Now that you've ordered all of these gorgeous prints, where are you going to put them? We are majorly obsessing over these handmade photo display boxes from La Rousse. (Rose gold, anyone? Yes please.)

Created by a photographer who was looking for a beautiful + fuss-free way to display photos, they hold up to 110 standard prints and 50-65 square prints. They're perfect for anything from wedding to baby photos.

La Rousse Glass Photo Box, $45.00 and up

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4. Get (and stay) inspired ✨

With sayings that promote optimism, positivity and mindfulness, your next moment of inspiration is as close as your wrist. They're available in silver, yellow or rose gold, matte black, or moon gray, and feature almost endless mantra options.

MantraBand, Nordstrom, $25.00 and up

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5. Wake up earlier 🌅

If you find yourself waking up abruptly by a loud alarm or can't seem to get up before your kids, it might be time to rethink your strategy. For Google Pixel 3 and 3XL owners, this wireless charging stands turns your phone into a virtual alarm clock. The screen will stimulate the sunrise, boasting various colors of a real sunrise so you wake up calmly and easier.

Google Wireless Charger Pixel 3 and 3XL, Amazon, $79.99

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6. Get active (and look good doing it) 💪

Fitness goals may not be the most original of New Year's resolutions, but there's something to be said for setting an intention and sticking to it.

Whether it's yoga, pilates, or just athleisure-ing around town, we are big fans of the Align pant by Lululemon. The buttery soft material offers just the right balance of breathability + stretch, and the fit is super flattering—they hold you in in all the right places without making you feel constricted.

Align Pant, Lululemon, $95.00

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7. Clean out your purse 👜

Your purse holds *all* of the things, but it can be a big stressor when you're running from drop off to girls night—you likely always leave one thing behind. Finally organize your favorite tote so it can seamlessly act as a diaper bag and mama's bag.

The ToteSavvy features multiple compartments—and comes in various sizes—so all of your items have a home. We love the insulated pocket for bottles, washable changing mat and key clasp for when mama's hands are full.

ToteSavvy, ToteSavvy.com, starting at $42.00

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8. Learn a new hobby 🧣

Take some time this year just for you—try something new, learn a new skill, or pick up a new hobby. It will not only make you a better mom, but a better person, too.

We recently tried We Are Knitters kits, and we're officially hooked. (Sorry, we couldn't resist.) The kits come with everything you need to make a project and are delivered right to your door—simply choose a project, receive everything you need including yarn, needles, + a pattern, and enjoy the experience. There are tons of great resources on the site to help you out, including video tutorials, projects geared just towards beginners, and gorgeous photos of all the amazing projects.

We Are Knitters, WeAreKnitters.com, prices vary by kit

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9. Control the clutter 🙅‍♀️

You reach into your bag to find your phone but instead come up with... an old pacifier. A scrunched up baby wipe. Three miniature diggers. (True story.) This year is going to be the year you stop the madness!

Truffle pouches are clear, space saving, and completely awesome. They are the perfect way to wrangle the chaos, whether it's for travel, everyday essentials, or even electronics.

Truffle bags, Truffle Co, $38 and up

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10. Get more (and better) sleep 😴

Okay fine, we can't promise that these sheets will actually provide you with more sleep, but we can promise it'll be some of the most comfortable sleep you've ever experienced. Prioritize your sleep in the new year with these luxury sheets at non-luxury prices.

We've been rocking our Boll & Branch sheets for the past two years, and we are happy to report they are just as soft as the day we got them—if not softer. And we love that they're ethically made and sustainably sourced, too.

Boll & Branch sheets, Amazon, starting at $200 and up

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11. Take control of your finances 💸

Money is stressful; money is complicated; money is no fun. We get it. But you know what's way less fun? Credit card debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and not being able to save.

Enter You Need a Budget (YNAB) and finally get your finances together. The app helps you easily track all of your transactions and work toward your goals. We think the hardest thing about budgeting is just keeping track, so when something automatically does it for you, we're all in.

You Need a Budget; free for download on iTunes or Android

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12. Unplug 📚

The irony of a website giving you advice to unplug is not lost on us, believe me. But sometimes you just need to step away, recharge, and spend some time with a good book.

One of our favorite picks is Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. This New York Times bestseller (and Reese Witherspoon book club pick) explores family drama, motherhood, and identity, and we couldn't put it down.

Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng; $15.28, Amazon

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13. Practice self-care 💆‍♀️

Before you curl up with your new book, take a few minutes to put on one of these amazing sheet masks. Sheet masks are no secret to any K-beauty devotee, but the trend has been slowing gaining popularity in the US over the past few years and masks like these are now available pretty much anywhere.

We love how this one purifies and detoxes the skin, making for a glowy complexion.

GLAMGLOW Bubblesheet, Nordstrom, $9.00

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Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy.You've got this.

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It's finally 2020. It's hard to believe but the old decade is over, the new one is here and it is bringing a lot of new life with it. The babies born this year are members of Generation Alpha and the world is waiting for them.

We're only a few days into the new year and there are already some new celebrity arrivals making headlines while making their new parents proud.

If your little one arrived (or is due to arrive) in 2020, they've got plenty of high profile company.

Here are all the celebrity babies born in 2020 (so far):

Ashley Graham is a mama! 🎉

A new chapter is unfolding for model and podcaster Ashley Graham, who just announced she and her husband Justin Ervin have met their baby.

The baby arrived Saturday, according to a post made on Graham's Instagram Stories.

"At 6:00pm on Saturday our lives changed for the better," reads the Story. "Thank you for all your love and support during this incredible time."

Graham previously announced that she and Ervin were expecting a son. They initially announced the pregnancy on their ninth wedding anniversary.

Congratulations to Ashley and Justin!

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden just welcomed a baby girl! 🎉

Surprise! Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden are ringing in the New Year as first-time parents!

"Happy New Year from the Maddens!" reads a birth announcement posted to both Diaz and Madden's Instagram accounts. "We are so happy, blessed and grateful to begin this new decade by announcing the birth of our daughter, Raddix Madden. She has instantly captured our hearts and completed our family."

Raddix Madden is the first child for Diaz, 47, and Madden, 40.

The couple say they won't be posting any pictures of their daughter on social media as they "feel a strong instinct to protect our little one's privacy."

Congratulations to the Maddens! 🎉

Dylan Dreyer of 'Today' is a mom of 2! 

Today meteorologist Dylan Dreyer and her husband Brian Fichera, welcomed their second child, Oliver George Fichera, the first week of January 2020. Oliver joins his big brother Calvin to make the family a foursome.

Dreyer is still recovering from birth but her voice was on TV this week when she called into her show with an update on her new family. "I feel good," Dylan told her colleagues. "I just feel so happy and so blessed."

Caterina Scorsone of 'Grey's Anatomy' now has 3 girls!

Caterina Scorsone of Grey's Anatomy has so much to be thankful for in 2020: She's now a mom of three! The actress announced the birth of her daughter via Instagram, noting that her baby's name is Arwen.

Arwen joins big sisters Eliza, 7, and 3-year-old Paloma, who has Down syndrome. Speaking on The Motherly Podcast last year, Scorsone explained how Paloma's diagnosis made her "whole concept of what motherhood was had to shift."

It is likely shifting again, as any mama who has gone from two kids to three knows.

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When it comes to taking care of the baby and the house, modern dads say they want to be equal partners.

But when Saturday arrives, research shows men are often relaxing while women are the ones doing unpaid housework with a “leisure time" discrepancy of more than 50 minutes a day on the weekends.

The study revealed that women were more likely than men to spend their weekends watching kids or performing housework.

So after a long week of watching kids or clocking hours on the job, what does mom do more of than dad? Work.

Claire M. Kamp Dush, Ph.D., an associate professor of human sciences at The Ohio State University, and lead author of the new study, says she is hopeful we can all find more balance. It's just going to take some hard discussions—and an understanding that there's more than one way to load a dishwasher or dress a baby.

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The study published in the journal Sex Roles saw Ohio State researchers tracking how 52 dual-income couples spent their time on a minute-by-minute basis as they welcomed their first child. The participating couples kept time diaries for workdays and non-workdays during the third trimester and for about three months after the baby's birth.

The researchers expected to see a lot of entries where mom and dad were doing childcare or housework together, but they didn't.

“Men actually increased their time doing leisure while she was doing work across the transition of parenthood," Kamp Dush shares. “It actually got worse once the baby was there."

According to Kamp Dush, there are a couple of factors behind this disappointing dynamic.

“One thing that's going on is women have a lot of societal pressure put on them to be perfect mothers. So if something is less than perfect with the baby or the house, the consequences are coming back on them," she explains, adding this pressure to have everything done to high standards may lead some moms to micromanage their partners.

If a dad is slacking, Kamp Dush suggests moms ascertain what his motivations are. Often, she says the solution may be as simple as empowering him to do things his own way. (Even if it isn't the outfit you would have picked for the baby...)

“It may also be the case that he just doesn't want to do it and he enjoys his leisure time," says Kamp Dush. If that's the case, she suggests calmly explaining the cost that his rest requires you pay. That may prompt him to do a bit more because, as Kamp Dush says, “He might also enjoy having a happier spouse and co-parent."

The earlier you can have these conversations, the better

Unaddressed resentment in relationships tends to build overtime, which is why it's essential to check in on how you (and your partner) are feeling early and often.

Kamp Dush suggests moms with heavy mental loads write down the tasks and duties they're dealing with. Then rip the list in half and hand it to dad. Couples can certainly negotiate the listed responsibilities, but the important thing is that they're not all on mom.

“Then, you're going to have to let it go," she explains. “Men know how to do these things. As women, we need to just let them do it."

Dads need to do 50 minutes more of unpaid work

The gender disparity in unpaid work hurts our careers, our families and our relationships, but it doesn't have to.

According to the Promundo's State of the World's Fathers' report, if men did 50 minutes of unpaid work a day we could close the gender gap.

"We need men to do our share. Fifty minutes more to relieve women of 50 minutes less would get us really close to equal," the president and CEO of Promundo, Gary Barker, tells Motherly.

When dads are more empowered and moms feel like their household responsibilities are more balanced, the whole family is going to be better off.

[A version of this post was first published July 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

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For new mamas back to sitting behind their desks at work some six weeks (or fewer) after their babies are born, the institutionalized parental leave policy in Denmark is the stuff of daydreams: Over in that Scandinavian paradise, parents are granted 52 weeks of paid leave to divide between them.

There's no denying this is much, much better than the state of parental leave in the United States, but it isn't quite as perfect as it seems from the outside. According to Denmark's Directorate of Employment, Labour and Social Affairs, women take an average 93% of leave allotted to couples. And when they do return to work, mothers' wages suffer both in comparison to men and women without children.

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The good news is that it seems the solution to this gender income gap is something we—the mothers of today, even here in America—can do something about.

A new paper from the US National Bureau of Economic Research that examined Danish administration information from 1980 to 2013 found the motherhood penalty “creates a gender gap in earnings of around 20% in the long run," which is comparable to the gap in the United States.

What's more, the income discrepancy only increases for each child a family in Denmark has: If a woman has four children, her income is only $0.60 to every dollar a man makes—10 years down the road.

While this indicates paid parental leave alone may not be the panacea for the gender income gap, the researchers suggest that changing the way we think about roles in the workplaces and homes could help—at least when it comes to the next generation.

“As a possible explanation for the persistence of child penalties, we show that they are transmitted through generations, from parents to daughters (but not sons)," the researchers note, explaining that the more a daughter's mother worked while the girl was growing up, the less the daughter's income was affected when she became a mother.

“Women tend to adopt a balance of paid work and childcare that is correlated with the one they saw their mother strike when they were growing up," Henrik Kleven, a Princeton economist and the paper's lead author, tells Quartz At Work.

What this looks like in practice is splitting household responsibilities from the get-go and encouraging fathers to take more leave. (In Sweden, where fathers are penalized for not taking advantage of paternity leave, women's earning rose an average 7% for each month of leave that men took.)

According to the State of the World's Fathers' report, produced by Promundo (a non-profit organization dedicated to engaging men and boys in gender equality in partnership with Dove Men+Care) 85% of dads surveyed in the United States, the UK, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Japan and the Netherlands want to take paternity leave, and yet less than 50% of fathers take as much time as their country's policy allows, and social norms, financial pressures and a lack of support from their managers are all factors.

The report also found that if fathers are able to do just under an hour of unpaid work per day, mothers can cut their unpaid labor time by the same amount.

"We need men to do our share. Fifty minutes more to relieve women of 50 minutes less would get us really close to equal," the president and CEO of Promundo, Gary Barker, told Motherly.

This may help shift us toward more income equality today—and, as the research shows, our daughters will really be able to reap the benefits.

[A version of this post was first published January 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

News

There's no doubt: It's a new parenting era than 20 or 30 years ago.

Now faced with questions about how to limit screen time, when to give children phones and how to protect them from cyber threats, there are simply some issues that today's parents can't get advice on from our own parents.

Does that mean it's harder to be a parent today than when we were growing up? Yes, say 88% of young moms and dads.

According to a BPI Network survey of 2,000 parents in the United States and Canada, the leading reasons parenting feels harder than ever include: social media distractions, challenges with two working parents, emotional or behavioral dysfunction, peer competition or bullying, and violence and safety concerns in schools.

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Of course, most of us weren't fully aware of the challenges our parents faced when we were young—such as the fact they couldn't readily call on their own moms for advice lest they wanted to rack up major long-distance bills and couldn't have anything in the world delivered to their doorsteps within two days.

Regardless of whether it's true, the perception that parenting is harder than ever has contributed to some two-thirds of the respondents saying they've experienced "parental burnout."

"Parental burnout is a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion," says Neil D. Brown, LCSW, author of Ending The Parent-Teen Control Battle. "It leaves parents feeling chronically fatigued… and it can lead to depression, chronic anxiety and illness."

With 40% reporting parental burnout has "significantly" affected their qualities of life and another 49% saying it has "somewhat" affected their wellbeing, it's time employers take a vested interest in addressing the issue, says Dave Murray, Chief Strategy and Research Officer at the BPI Network.

"It is staggering to look at the incidence of [parental burnout] symptoms among working parents in America and understand the implications this has for added employee burden, cost, concern and downtime," Murray says, adding that counseling services to promote healthy parenting should "certainly" be among the benefits employers look to offer.

Many working parents are also hopeful that their employers will recognize the importance of practices that support healthy balance between work and life—with 78% of respondents to Motherly's 2018 State of Motherhood survey saying they believe it's possible to combine careers and motherhood. Of those who worked outside the home, the biggest changes they would like to see include subsidies for childcare or on-site childcare, paid maternity leave and more flexible schedules.

In our second annual State of Motherhood Survey in 2019 just over half (51%) of mothers said "I feel discouraged: it's extremely challenging managing trade-offs" associated with combining a career and motherhood.

The consequences of unaddressed parental burnout have an unfortunate way of spilling over to other members of the family. According to a recent study published in the journal Child Abuse & Neglect, a sample of 1,551 parents suggested "parental burnout has a statistically similar effect to job burnout on addictions and sleep problems, a stronger effect on couples' conflicts and partner estrangement mindset and a specific effect on child-related outcomes (neglect and violence) and escape and suicidal ideation."

While employers have a stake in addressing this issue, there's also a lot that individuals can do—like starting by cutting ourselves a break on self-imposed expectations. As research has shown, the more grace we give ourselves and others in the ways we parent, the less prone we ultimately are to burning out.

And while we've heard this all before, it's also worth remembering just how important it is to take time for ourselves. "We must have regular practices to refuel," LMHC Jasmin Terrany previously told Motherly. "We don't need to feel guilty about taking this time for ourselves—our kids will not only learn that self-care is essential, but when we are good, they will be good."

Then don't feel one ounce of guilt about using that time to call someone long-distance or place another Amazon Prime delivery so you can remember that parenting in this day and age does have its perks.

[A version of this post was originally published July 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

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