You didn't know how much the living room clock would be your closest companion,
watching it always and praying for it to be the right time: the time when you can finally feed your
baby again, because you don't know how else to stop her from crying.
He said to me the words I say to him in the moments when HE needs to hear it the
most. It felt serendipitous, yet completely logical, and I immediately started to feel better. The
clouds began to lift. And I realized that he has been listening (whether it be subconsciously or
consciously or BOTH), the whole time.
Half of my hair is dry shampoo, my body still feels unsteady and foreign after
nearly 10 months of relentless changes during pregnancy, my contacts may have permanently fused to
my eyes and I'm so deliriously tired at times that I'm unsure if I'm awake or asleep.
All of the elements of "self" came into question: my body had changed.
Relationships were changing. I questioned my place in society, my work, contributions, decisions
and balance.
