As your due date draws ever nearer, working is a fascinating adventure.
You have to pee every 22 minutes.
Your coworkers look at you with a pity that says, “She’s STILL here?!”
And your colleagues are squeezing every last bit of work out of you before you escape for a bit with baby.
Here are the joys (and humor) of working while super pregnant...
1. Everyone around you wonders, HAS SHE HAD THAT BABY YET?
2. Your boss is convinced your water is going to break in the weekly meeting.
And although it’s pretty unlikely (and borderline mortifying), you sort of like the idea of freaking him out with that mental image.
3. You’ve perfected your out-of-office email message.
“I’m out on maternity leave so DON’T BOTHER ME WITH THIS until I return. And maybe not even then. Thank you.”
4. Getting dressed for work is ?.
Clothes actually make no sense when you’re nine months pregnant—and you have to ask your partner to put them on you. As long as your lady parts are covered, you’re good to go.
5. You know maternity leave isn’t a vacation.
But you’re so looking forward to a break with your babe.
6. You try to not let your coworkers see that you ate 3 breakfasts today.
Eating for 2 taken to the NEXT LEVEL.
7. You fantasize about never coming back.
But you do sorta love your job deep down except for all that annoying stuff.
8. You know you’re about to add the most awesome title to your life’s resume.
M-o-m is coming right up.
We are so excited for you, mama!