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How to not go broke this holiday season

A Bankrate survey found that 45% of Americans feel compelled to go beyond their comfort zones when buying holiday gifts.

How to not go broke this holiday season

The holiday season is supposed to be merry and bright, but due to the high cost of the holidays and the interpersonal "politics" of things like gifting, shopping and entertaining, it can also be filled with friction between family, friends and loved ones.

A recent Bankrate survey found that 45% of Americans feel compelled to go beyond their comfort zones when buying holiday gifts, and it turns out women are significantly more likely to feel pressured to overspend—moms especially!

With that in mind, here are a few of my favorite tips to help manage the pressure and stress of the holidays so you can actually relax this holiday season without worrying about your finances.

1. Look for the best holiday travel deals—but avoid hidden fees.

Holiday travel can get expensive quickly, especially if you're traveling with kids. Plane tickets add up fast, and it can be hard to keep kids occupied for long periods of time. To get around this, always hunt for holiday travel deals.

Websites like Hipmunk or KAYAK search multiple airline and travel sites at once, making sure you're getting the best deal on all your holiday travel. Remember to be careful of fares that might have hidden fees, though—lots of airlines have "basic economy" tickets now that don't allow you carry-ons or for you to choose your seats, and the last thing you want is to end up having to spread your family out across an airplane.

2. Split the cost of travel whenever you can.

Whenever you can, split the cost of travel with family who live nearby—after all, if you're all going to Grandma's for the holidays you might as well all go together. Renting a minivan or even an RV and playing road trip games on the way is a way to save money and keep your kids occupied at the same time.

Instead of constantly passing money around throughout the trip, let one person pay the cost of gas money or rental car charges and then split the costs. Points junkies will rejoice and the money will be in their bank account before their credit card bill is due. Plus, you'll all save on ATM fees if you're not withdrawing money in towns where your bank doesn't have a branch.

3. Skip the travel, share the party.

If you can, skip the travel entirely and host a party together at someone's home. This year, team up with family to host a higher quality get-together without going broke when you share the responsibilities, and the costs, instead of going out for a big expensive group dinner or trying to cover the costs of everything solo.

Not everyone is an A+ party planner though, so let everyone take on the responsibilities that best suit them. Maybe your aunt makes a mean mulled wine and your cousin would rather just pay for a cleaning service the next day or a babysitter who can keep kids occupied while the adults stay up past their bedtime.

4. Trade competitive gifting for collaborative gifting.

When it comes to gifting, this year is your opportunity to trade competitive gifting for collaborative gifting. When family open gifts together, it can get competitive—who put the most thought into a gift, who gave the most expensive gift, who spent the most time on a gift, or which kid got the most. These competitive moments contribute to so many of the reasons holidays are stressful for lots of moms and families.

Instead of competitive gifting, come together and decide on one higher value gift for each person, then divvy up the cost throughout the family, this way everyone gets equal credit and you can all stick to your budgets. Maybe your mom just wants a day at the spa, and you and your siblings can split the cost of a massage upgrade together. Or you can get your kids a single big gift from the entire family instead of several smaller gifts.

As you're looking at ways to make it through the holiday season with your finances intact, don't forget that the New Year is coming up rapidly. Make sure you come up with a spending plan for the next year before it starts—after all, you can't blow a budget you don't have.

Just like experts recommend an "eating plan" as a more long-term approach to dieting, I recommend a "spending plan" instead of a crash money diet. A sustainable spending plan is broken down into the three E's: Essentials (70% of your overall monthly budget for basic expenses like rent or mortgage, utilities, food, transportation, insurances); Endgame (15% of your monthly budget for things for your future like savings accounts, investment accounts, retirement accounts); and Extras (15% of your monthly budget for, well, whatever does it for you). Set this budget before the New Year starts and use whatever tools work for you to track your spending, and then set regular check-ins to make sure you're staying on track throughout the new year.

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14 sweet 'just thinking of you' gifts for every mama

A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs.

Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

New Mother face + body care duo

volition face + body care duo

This correcting oil and stretch mark minimizer is perfect for the pregnant mama looking to keep her pregnancy glow. The correcting oil brightens the skin while reducing dark spots, and the stretch mark minimizer works to smooth her ever-growing belly.

$70

Allover roller

esker allover roller

This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.

$65

Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.

$45

Laetitia lipstick

cupid & psyche laetitia

This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!

$23

Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

Mamas need to destress now more than ever during quarantine. This adorable jigsaw puzzle is perfect for the mama who needs a brain break! The 500-piece puzzle designed by artist Ray Oranges features an abstract gradient design that fits a standard frame when completed. Bonus: It's printed on recycled paper and the company donates $1 from every puzzle sold to youth mindfulness programs.

$30

Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.

$39

'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."

$35

Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.

$24

Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.

$22

Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!

$25

Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.

$32

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.

$105

Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.

$17

Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.

$68

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