To the SAHM who is ALWAYS working—I see you

Mama, I want you to know that it's not just you.

To the SAHM who is ALWAYS working—I see you

Around this time last year, I accompanied my husband to a dinner hosted by one of his colleagues. I sat amongst a number of highly successful and intelligent women who introduced themselves and talked about their jobs. When it came to my turn, I said, “Oh, I'm just a stay-at-home mom."

As in––I don't have a job.

As in––I don't work.

I'm just a stay-at-home mom.

That statement, and the way I said it, has haunted me ever since. I didn't like the way I shied away from it, like it was something to be embarrassed about.

Because if you're a stay-at-home mom, sometimes it's hard to explain, even to yourself, how it's an incredibly demanding and, at times, difficult occupation. Even though it's not a typical, paid, report-producing, tangible-outcome-providing job.

Mama, I want you to know that it's not just you.

If you've ever gotten to the end of the day feeling sapped of every last ounce of energy, and then looked around and struggled to identify what you actually accomplished that day––it's not just you.

If you've ever felt like any time you have to yourself is colored with the anxiety of a child who might wake up or a task that you still haven't gotten around to completing ––it's not just you.

If you've ever sat on the floor, building blocks or having tea parties with your little ones, and shocked yourself by entertaining thoughts like: "Is this it? Is this my life and all I'm doing with it? Have I wasted my education, my experience, everything I worked towards before I had kids?"––it's not just you.

If you've ever wished that you could, for once, get some kind of report card, performance review, any kind of praise, or even just acknowledgement, for how well you're doing your job––it's not just you.

If you've ever run into an old colleague while you're in less-than-professional attire, with a child hanging off your hip and one in a stroller, and gotten annoyed at yourself for the unexpected embarrassment you felt––it's not just you.

If you've ever craved an intellectual conversation on a topic unrelated to children with another adult, or dressing up in a tailored suit, heels and lipstick––it's not just you.

If you've ever worried about whether you'll truly be able to re-enter the workforce one day, because you're quite certain you've lost everything you once had in your professional arsenal––it's not just you.

If you've ever greeted your husband at the end of the day by immediately handing him a crying baby, or a shrieking toddler, or both, and given him crazy eyes that said, "I'm tapping out for the rest of the evening otherwise I'm going to combust"––it's not just you.

If you've ever just wanted quiet, space, no one touching you, and no one asking you for anything, and then as soon as they're asleep, instantly regretted ever feeling that way ––it's not just you.

And, mama? If you've ever felt like this is absolutely everything you've ever wanted, and you wouldn't trade it for the world ––it's not just you.

If you've never felt more comfortable and content with your place in this season of life than you are right now, knowing that it's a season that will pass you by all too quickly ––it's not just you.

If you've ever had someone react dismissively or awkwardly when you mention that you're a stay-at-home mom, but then you've shrugged it off confidently because you know that this is some of the most valuable work you will ever do ––and yes, it is work––it's not just you.

And you know, truthfully, these thoughts and feelings don't only apply to stay-at-home moms. Whether we stay at home with our kids, work from home, or work outside the home, all of it ––all of it–– is work.

We are all working.

Our roles, in some ways, are different. Our days look different. But while our pressures come from different sources, I guarantee you that some of them will overlap.

We are all working.

We all stay up well past a sensible bedtime because we're trying to catch up on what we couldn't get to during the day. We all lay awake at night because there's always that thing you still need to organize for your child. We all experience the baby who cries out on the crackling monitor at unpredictable times, the toddler who creeps into your room at two in the morning, the fever that has been worrying you because it still hasn't broken, or that developmental or social issue that's been weighing on your mind and heart.

And when you hear the questions that seem to constantly echo in your head: Am I doing the right thing? Am I doing enough? Am I a good mother?

It's not just you.

Create a school-ready capsule wardrobe for your kids

Dress for success whether virtual learning or in the classroom!

Tina Meeks

Going "back to school" this year may be less of a literal statement than in years past—but there is just as much reason for your kids to celebrate moving on to new grades. Just like in every new school year, a big part of the fun is refreshing your kids' wardrobe with clothes that allow them to express themselves.

Even if finding back to school clothes this year doesn't include a trip to the mall, you can still make an event of it by shopping H&M's kids collection from your computer. Pull up another chair for your shopping buddy and get the cart started with these fave capsule wardrobe options we've already scouted.

Here are our favorite picks:

A t-shirt made for play

H&M t-shirt

Call them essentials, not basics. A graphic t-shirt aces the test when it comes to being perfect for school. And because your little student will probably want to wear something that expresses their personal style as often as possible, it's great to know the shirts can stand up to school time, playtime, downtime and everything in between!


Dressed-up casual shorts for total comfort

H&M boy shorts

Whether pulling up a chair for a virtual meeting with the class or heading back to the school for in-person learning, some comfortable, yet stylish, shorts will help your kid focus on the real tasks at hand: learning—and having fun while doing it!


Layers for when seasons change

H&M sweatshirt

When it comes to feeling comfortable at school, layers are the MVPs. Whether the AC is blasting or the day started off cool and is warming up quickly, having a unique sweatshirt to shed or add will help your kid look cool while staying warm.


A bit of flair with distressed denim

H&M distressed jeans

A school staple for generations, denim is both classic and continually fashionable with updates like distressing and new wash colors. If you're shopping online for jeans this year, take note of H&M's generous return policy—your kids can try on the orders at home and return anything that doesn't fit without a trip to the store.


A fashion statement piece

H&M girls skirt

What's better than expressing yourself through a stylish outfit when school is back in session? Still feeling perfectly comfortable and ready to tackle anything the day holds while looking so good. With so many fashion-forward looks available at budget-friendly prices, H&M's children's collection means every kid can find an outfit that speaks to them.


Some comfy kicks

H&M boys shoes

A sure way to put a little pep in your child's step this year, cool and cozy shoes are a staple on all back-to-school shopping lists for good reason. (Plus, it's fun to compare them to last year's shoes to see how much your kid has grown!)


Anything-but-basic blouses

H&M girls blouse

Whether in the classroom or showing up for a video call with the class, a styling blouse or button-down shirt is a great way for your student to comfortably dress up the day. Better yet? Style doesn't have to come at the expense of comfort with so many made-to-move tops designed just for kids.


A shirt ready to go whatever the day holds

H&M boys shirt

With "going to school" meaning anything from showing up in the classroom to doing a virtual session, it's important to have clothes that are perfect for anything the day holds. A classic, cotton shirt with a fashion-forward design is a great way to keep your student feeling ready to start the year with an A+ attitude.


This article was sponsored by H&M. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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