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Hiring a nanny can be stressful, after all—you’re inviting someone to care for your precious baby.


The stakes are high, and you want to get it right.

The good news is there are (literally) millions of other mamas in your boat, and lots of experts available to help you make the right decision.

(And we promise, it will be okay, mama!)

One of the many things to consider when choosing the right childcare option for your family is how it fits into the budget.

If you’re leaning toward or have decided that a nanny is a best, it’s important to make sure that you’re meeting your legal obligations.

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Kerri Swope, senior director of Care.com’s HomePay, answered our questions about the “Nanny Tax” and the things we need to make sure are taken care of when hiring a nanny.

What is the “nanny tax?”

When a family employs a nanny (or any other household employee) and pays them more than $2,000 within the calendar year (effective 2016), they are responsible for withholding and paying taxes.

The “nanny tax” is the common phrase that pertains to the taxes a family needs to withhold from their employee as well as the taxes the family is required to pay as the employer. To get specific, this typically includes Social Security and Medicare (collectively known as FICA) and federal and state income taxes that are withheld from the employee each pay period.

As the employer, the family will also pay a matching portion of FICA, as well as federal and state unemployment insurance taxes.It’s important to remember that federal and state unemployment insurance taxes generally come into play when a family pays their employee $1,000 or more in a calendar quarter.

Usually a family will cross both the FICA and unemployment insurance tax thresholds, but sometimes that’s not the case. Regardless of your situation, it’s important to note that this can vary state by state, so families need to do their research to see what pertains to their needs.

Why do I need to pay the “nanny tax”?

The short answer is, because it’s the law. The IRS sets guidelines for families with household employees in Publication 926. It goes through all the federal requirements for withholding and paying taxes. If a family chooses not to follow these requirements, they can face tax evasion charges, be forced to pay back taxes, penalties and interest, and in some cases, lose their professional license.

Are there any exceptions?

Yes. In most cases, if the person you hire is your spouse, your child (if under 21), your parent, or someone under the age of 18 (if the job isn’t their primary occupation, i.e. they are a student), you are not responsible for going through the nanny tax process. Additionally, if you do not meet the FICA or unemployment insurance tax thresholds, you won’t have to deal with any nanny taxes. The FICA threshold in particular is very easy to hit and, when broken down, equates to roughly $39 a week or $170 a month. A lot of families underestimate this and can create more work for themselves if they don’t calculate this ahead of time.

What happens if I get caught not paying?

As of April 2006, the IRS started to crack down on employers who pay their employees under the table. Should you meet the $2,000 threshold and decide not to pay the appropriate taxes, you put yourself and your family at financial and legal risk. This can include tax evasion charges, back taxes, and penalties and interest. For those that have a professional license, such as a CPA or attorney, they’re also in jeopardy of losing that license. Now more than ever, it’s important to be cautious.

Doesn’t this make having a nanny more expensive?

When families hire a household employee and realize compliance involves taxes and tax filings, they immediately assume it will be expensive and time-consuming. The good news is it’s neither! Many families have access to tax breaks that can offset most – if not all – of the employer taxes. And services like HomePay were built to take all the employer-related paperwork off a family’s plate, not to mention the fees associated are tax deductible as professional service fees. There is even a nanny tax calculator that families and caregivers and leverage to help estimate these costs!

What tax breaks are available to help cover childcare costs?

When families pay their caregiver legally, they earn the ability to capitalize on one or more tax breaks that can offset most – if not all – of the employer tax cost.There are two main options that families can leverage, which include a Dependent Care Account and the Child Care Tax Credit. First, the Dependent Care Account, also known as a Flexible Spending Account is one that many companies offer their employees. Essentially, employees can contribute up to $5,000 of their pre-tax earnings to this account to help pay for childcare expenses. This means there is no federal income tax, state income tax or FICA taxes on that income, saving a family about $2,000 a year. Also available is the Child Care Tax Credit. If a family doesn’t have access to a Dependent Care Account, they can claim the Tax Credit for Child or Dependent Care (IRS Form 2441) on their personal federal income tax return at year-end. This tax credit saves $600 for families with one child or $1,200 for families with two or more kids.

What are the benefits for my nanny?

Whether it’s a nanny, housekeeper or even your pet sitter, household workers are important to our lives and deserve professional benefits and security for the jobs they do. When paying compliantly, a family provides such benefits to their employee, which can include a tangible employment history, which is important for creditors; unemployment benefits; health insurance subsidies (dependent upon the employee’s income level among other factors); and Social Security and Medicare benefits upon retirement. These benefits are essential to the employee in both the short- and long-term.

If I’m in a nanny share, how do the taxes work?

When a family is in a nanny share, each is viewed as a separate household employer in the eyes of the law, even if the care is provided in only one of the homes. Essentially, the nanny takes direction from both families and both families share in the expense of her pay.

Each family is required to establish themselves as a household employer with the IRS and the state, each paying the nanny separately. This includes withholding and remitting payroll taxes appropriately to the IRS and state agencies on their portion of her salary.

While it may seem easier to have one family handle tax withholdings and remittance on the full salary, this creates risk for the family who is not registered as a household employer with the IRS and the state tax agencies. In addition, there is risk for the family who pays the nanny in full and then has to collect from the second family.”

To clarify: If two families hire the same nanny to care for their children, but the care is provided separately, this is not a nanny share arrangement. This is different because the children are not cared for as a group—the nanny works for one family at a time and the children are cared for in their home. In this case, the nanny has two part-time jobs.

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It's finally 2020. It's hard to believe but the old decade is over, the new one is here and it is bringing a lot of new life with it. The babies born this year are members of Generation Alpha and the world is waiting for them.

We're only a few days into the new year and there are already some new celebrity arrivals making headlines while making their new parents proud.

If your little one arrived (or is due to arrive) in 2020, they've got plenty of high profile company.

Here are all the celebrity babies born in 2020 (so far):

Ashley Graham is a mama! 🎉

A new chapter is unfolding for model and podcaster Ashley Graham, who just announced she and her husband Justin Ervin have met their baby.

The baby arrived Saturday, according to a post made on Graham's Instagram Stories.

"At 6:00pm on Saturday our lives changed for the better," reads the Story. "Thank you for all your love and support during this incredible time."

Graham previously announced that she and Ervin were expecting a son. They initially announced the pregnancy on their ninth wedding anniversary.

Congratulations to Ashley and Justin!

Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden just welcomed a baby girl! 🎉

Surprise! Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden are ringing in the New Year as first-time parents!

"Happy New Year from the Maddens!" reads a birth announcement posted to both Diaz and Madden's Instagram accounts. "We are so happy, blessed and grateful to begin this new decade by announcing the birth of our daughter, Raddix Madden. She has instantly captured our hearts and completed our family."

Raddix Madden is the first child for Diaz, 47, and Madden, 40.

The couple say they won't be posting any pictures of their daughter on social media as they "feel a strong instinct to protect our little one's privacy."

Congratulations to the Maddens! 🎉

Dylan Dreyer of 'Today' is a mom of 2! 

Today meteorologist Dylan Dreyer and her husband Brian Fichera, welcomed their second child, Oliver George Fichera, the first week of January 2020. Oliver joins his big brother Calvin to make the family a foursome.

Dreyer is still recovering from birth but her voice was on TV this week when she called into her show with an update on her new family. "I feel good," Dylan told her colleagues. "I just feel so happy and so blessed."

Caterina Scorsone of 'Grey's Anatomy' now has 3 girls!

Caterina Scorsone of Grey's Anatomy has so much to be thankful for in 2020: She's now a mom of three! The actress announced the birth of her daughter via Instagram, noting that her baby's name is Arwen.

Arwen joins big sisters Eliza, 7, and 3-year-old Paloma, who has Down syndrome. Speaking on The Motherly Podcast last year, Scorsone explained how Paloma's diagnosis made her "whole concept of what motherhood was had to shift."

It is likely shifting again, as any mama who has gone from two kids to three knows.

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When it comes to taking care of the baby and the house, modern dads say they want to be equal partners.

But when Saturday arrives, research shows men are often relaxing while women are the ones doing unpaid housework with a “leisure time" discrepancy of more than 50 minutes a day on the weekends.

The study revealed that women were more likely than men to spend their weekends watching kids or performing housework.

So after a long week of watching kids or clocking hours on the job, what does mom do more of than dad? Work.

Claire M. Kamp Dush, Ph.D., an associate professor of human sciences at The Ohio State University, and lead author of the new study, says she is hopeful we can all find more balance. It's just going to take some hard discussions—and an understanding that there's more than one way to load a dishwasher or dress a baby.

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The study published in the journal Sex Roles saw Ohio State researchers tracking how 52 dual-income couples spent their time on a minute-by-minute basis as they welcomed their first child. The participating couples kept time diaries for workdays and non-workdays during the third trimester and for about three months after the baby's birth.

The researchers expected to see a lot of entries where mom and dad were doing childcare or housework together, but they didn't.

“Men actually increased their time doing leisure while she was doing work across the transition of parenthood," Kamp Dush shares. “It actually got worse once the baby was there."

According to Kamp Dush, there are a couple of factors behind this disappointing dynamic.

“One thing that's going on is women have a lot of societal pressure put on them to be perfect mothers. So if something is less than perfect with the baby or the house, the consequences are coming back on them," she explains, adding this pressure to have everything done to high standards may lead some moms to micromanage their partners.

If a dad is slacking, Kamp Dush suggests moms ascertain what his motivations are. Often, she says the solution may be as simple as empowering him to do things his own way. (Even if it isn't the outfit you would have picked for the baby...)

“It may also be the case that he just doesn't want to do it and he enjoys his leisure time," says Kamp Dush. If that's the case, she suggests calmly explaining the cost that his rest requires you pay. That may prompt him to do a bit more because, as Kamp Dush says, “He might also enjoy having a happier spouse and co-parent."

The earlier you can have these conversations, the better

Unaddressed resentment in relationships tends to build overtime, which is why it's essential to check in on how you (and your partner) are feeling early and often.

Kamp Dush suggests moms with heavy mental loads write down the tasks and duties they're dealing with. Then rip the list in half and hand it to dad. Couples can certainly negotiate the listed responsibilities, but the important thing is that they're not all on mom.

“Then, you're going to have to let it go," she explains. “Men know how to do these things. As women, we need to just let them do it."

Dads need to do 50 minutes more of unpaid work

The gender disparity in unpaid work hurts our careers, our families and our relationships, but it doesn't have to.

According to the Promundo's State of the World's Fathers' report, if men did 50 minutes of unpaid work a day we could close the gender gap.

"We need men to do our share. Fifty minutes more to relieve women of 50 minutes less would get us really close to equal," the president and CEO of Promundo, Gary Barker, tells Motherly.

When dads are more empowered and moms feel like their household responsibilities are more balanced, the whole family is going to be better off.

[A version of this post was first published July 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

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For new mamas back to sitting behind their desks at work some six weeks (or fewer) after their babies are born, the institutionalized parental leave policy in Denmark is the stuff of daydreams: Over in that Scandinavian paradise, parents are granted 52 weeks of paid leave to divide between them.

There's no denying this is much, much better than the state of parental leave in the United States, but it isn't quite as perfect as it seems from the outside. According to Denmark's Directorate of Employment, Labour and Social Affairs, women take an average 93% of leave allotted to couples. And when they do return to work, mothers' wages suffer both in comparison to men and women without children.

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The good news is that it seems the solution to this gender income gap is something we—the mothers of today, even here in America—can do something about.

A new paper from the US National Bureau of Economic Research that examined Danish administration information from 1980 to 2013 found the motherhood penalty “creates a gender gap in earnings of around 20% in the long run," which is comparable to the gap in the United States.

What's more, the income discrepancy only increases for each child a family in Denmark has: If a woman has four children, her income is only $0.60 to every dollar a man makes—10 years down the road.

While this indicates paid parental leave alone may not be the panacea for the gender income gap, the researchers suggest that changing the way we think about roles in the workplaces and homes could help—at least when it comes to the next generation.

“As a possible explanation for the persistence of child penalties, we show that they are transmitted through generations, from parents to daughters (but not sons)," the researchers note, explaining that the more a daughter's mother worked while the girl was growing up, the less the daughter's income was affected when she became a mother.

“Women tend to adopt a balance of paid work and childcare that is correlated with the one they saw their mother strike when they were growing up," Henrik Kleven, a Princeton economist and the paper's lead author, tells Quartz At Work.

What this looks like in practice is splitting household responsibilities from the get-go and encouraging fathers to take more leave. (In Sweden, where fathers are penalized for not taking advantage of paternity leave, women's earning rose an average 7% for each month of leave that men took.)

According to the State of the World's Fathers' report, produced by Promundo (a non-profit organization dedicated to engaging men and boys in gender equality in partnership with Dove Men+Care) 85% of dads surveyed in the United States, the UK, Argentina, Brazil, Canada, Japan and the Netherlands want to take paternity leave, and yet less than 50% of fathers take as much time as their country's policy allows, and social norms, financial pressures and a lack of support from their managers are all factors.

The report also found that if fathers are able to do just under an hour of unpaid work per day, mothers can cut their unpaid labor time by the same amount.

"We need men to do our share. Fifty minutes more to relieve women of 50 minutes less would get us really close to equal," the president and CEO of Promundo, Gary Barker, told Motherly.

This may help shift us toward more income equality today—and, as the research shows, our daughters will really be able to reap the benefits.

[A version of this post was first published January 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

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There's no doubt: It's a new parenting era than 20 or 30 years ago.

Now faced with questions about how to limit screen time, when to give children phones and how to protect them from cyber threats, there are simply some issues that today's parents can't get advice on from our own parents.

Does that mean it's harder to be a parent today than when we were growing up? Yes, say 88% of young moms and dads.

According to a BPI Network survey of 2,000 parents in the United States and Canada, the leading reasons parenting feels harder than ever include: social media distractions, challenges with two working parents, emotional or behavioral dysfunction, peer competition or bullying, and violence and safety concerns in schools.

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Of course, most of us weren't fully aware of the challenges our parents faced when we were young—such as the fact they couldn't readily call on their own moms for advice lest they wanted to rack up major long-distance bills and couldn't have anything in the world delivered to their doorsteps within two days.

Regardless of whether it's true, the perception that parenting is harder than ever has contributed to some two-thirds of the respondents saying they've experienced "parental burnout."

"Parental burnout is a state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion," says Neil D. Brown, LCSW, author of Ending The Parent-Teen Control Battle. "It leaves parents feeling chronically fatigued… and it can lead to depression, chronic anxiety and illness."

With 40% reporting parental burnout has "significantly" affected their qualities of life and another 49% saying it has "somewhat" affected their wellbeing, it's time employers take a vested interest in addressing the issue, says Dave Murray, Chief Strategy and Research Officer at the BPI Network.

"It is staggering to look at the incidence of [parental burnout] symptoms among working parents in America and understand the implications this has for added employee burden, cost, concern and downtime," Murray says, adding that counseling services to promote healthy parenting should "certainly" be among the benefits employers look to offer.

Many working parents are also hopeful that their employers will recognize the importance of practices that support healthy balance between work and life—with 78% of respondents to Motherly's 2018 State of Motherhood survey saying they believe it's possible to combine careers and motherhood. Of those who worked outside the home, the biggest changes they would like to see include subsidies for childcare or on-site childcare, paid maternity leave and more flexible schedules.

In our second annual State of Motherhood Survey in 2019 just over half (51%) of mothers said "I feel discouraged: it's extremely challenging managing trade-offs" associated with combining a career and motherhood.

The consequences of unaddressed parental burnout have an unfortunate way of spilling over to other members of the family. According to a recent study published in the journal Child Abuse & Neglect, a sample of 1,551 parents suggested "parental burnout has a statistically similar effect to job burnout on addictions and sleep problems, a stronger effect on couples' conflicts and partner estrangement mindset and a specific effect on child-related outcomes (neglect and violence) and escape and suicidal ideation."

While employers have a stake in addressing this issue, there's also a lot that individuals can do—like starting by cutting ourselves a break on self-imposed expectations. As research has shown, the more grace we give ourselves and others in the ways we parent, the less prone we ultimately are to burning out.

And while we've heard this all before, it's also worth remembering just how important it is to take time for ourselves. "We must have regular practices to refuel," LMHC Jasmin Terrany previously told Motherly. "We don't need to feel guilty about taking this time for ourselves—our kids will not only learn that self-care is essential, but when we are good, they will be good."

Then don't feel one ounce of guilt about using that time to call someone long-distance or place another Amazon Prime delivery so you can remember that parenting in this day and age does have its perks.

[A version of this post was originally published July 29, 2018. It has been updated.]

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