To my sister who had kids before me: I'm sorry I didn't get it

Now that I'm thinking back on it, I really had no clue about these 10 things.

To my sister who had kids before me: I'm sorry I didn't get it

My sister Meg had kids first. She had two before I even had one. I was next and I had three before my next sister had one.

When Meg was the only one with kids, none of us got it (we have two other siblings, too). We were just going about living our lives, going out with our friends, taking trips—doing whatever we wanted—as my sister and brother-in-law were navigating the waters of new parenthood.

I remember I was on a girl's weekend yucking it up in NYC the weekend my nephew was born. I was prepared to head back up to Massachusetts if he made his debut, but he didn't show up until a few days later. So there in the early September heat, I was traipsing around Manhattan with my college friends while my sister inched toward contractions and birthing her baby boy.

I didn't get it AT ALL. Like, not even close. I did not get it until I was on all fours in the hospital trying to relieve the pressure of back labor as I breathed (winced?) through each contraction of my own.

Now that I'm thinking back on it, I really had no clue about these 10 things:

1. How absolutely amazing, but definitely grueling pregnancy can be

I did not realize how many checkup appointments you have to go to. I did not realize how heavy a baby could actually feel inside you. I did not know the lower back pain, the sleepless nights spent wishing you could sleep on your stomach, the hormonal migraines, the first-trimester hit-by-a-bus exhaustion, the heartburn, the swelling….. The list could go on and on.

And I definitely could not comprehend how incredible it is to feel your baby kick inside of you. Or to hear your baby's heartbeat for the first time. Or to find out the sex of your baby. Or how close pregnancy can make you and your partner feel. Or how awesome it would be to not worry about any extra softness in your stomach area because of that gorgeous baby bump.

2. How life-changing the transformation to ‘mother’ is

My sister went through this complete shift in her identity—right in front of me, without me having hardly a clue. She was learning how to be a mom as I was popping over to cuddle my nephew for a bit then heading out to meet friends for dinner or a movie.

I didn't know she was basically experiencing an identity crisis—and who knows, maybe she didn't even know that at the time either—until I experienced my own shortly after becoming a mother.

I could never know what that felt like. And I could never understand what the moment you come face-to-face with your child—that deep and immediate love—feels like, no matter how many times she described it to me.

3. How long “having a baby” actually can take

We arrived at the hospital a mere few hours after my sister got there and we waited there for hours! I am laughing thinking about it. I basically thought she'd get to the hospital, pop the baby out and be ready for visitors. It took a lot longer than I ever thought.

4. How different birth can go than what you picture

My sister had to be induced because her son was super cozy in her womb and didn't want to come out. Her birth went differently than she thought it would. I didn't know that was a thing. I just thought you gave birth how you wanted to—oblivious to all the complications or changes that could come along the way.

5. How tired a mother could actually be

"You're exhausted? Yeah me too, I was up till like 3 am watching TV." Okay, I hope I never actually said his to her, but… I probably did. I absolutely 100% did not know what true exhaustion meant no matter how many all-nighters I pulled in college, no matter how many times I stayed up late into the wee hours of the morning (by my own choice, mind you). I did not understand the physical exhaustion of feeding another human from my body at all hours of the day and night or the mental exhaustion of worrying and remembering and doing.

6. How much effort goes into breastfeeding

Again. This is something I thought you just did. That just clicked. That just happened. I had no idea there were any smoke and mirrors in the background, like lactation counselors, nipple shields, breast pumps, supplementing, different kinds of formula, donor milk, or gastronomy tubes. I was so clueless! Imagine my surprise when I started breastfeeding 2.5 years later…

7. How strategic road trips become

Our parents live on Long Island and my sister and I live in Massachusetts with our families. I never got why they couldn't just hop in the car to go visit my parents with us for a weekend on a whim.

I didn't know that babies might not like riding in the car or they may get sick of sitting in their car seat after four hours or how annoying going off-routine for the weekend could be, how painful skipping naps is, how tricky it is to get babies to sleep at night in a place other than their home. I definitely didn't even think about all the stuff you had to schlep back and forth.

8. How tricky it can be to have a baby at a wedding

When I got married, my nephew had just turned one a week prior. They were all in the wedding. In fact, my sister was the maid of honor. I didn't know how stressful it could be to try to align your baby's idea of a timeline for the day with the planned wedding timeline. No, honey, you can't eat right now—it's time to take pictures. No, baby, I can't rock you for your nap, it's time to get my hair done.

I actually didn't fully realize what that felt like until I was on a plane heading to Vegas for my sister's destination wedding with a 2-year-old and a 3-month-old many years later. #Goodtimes

9. How much support you need

I knew we all needed to be there for my sister. I knew she could use some help with holding my nephew as she got stuff done around the house. But I didn't think to put a load of laundry on while I was over or think to randomly bring her a meal so she didn't have to cook dinner.

I didn't get the importance of connecting with other moms and couldn't properly commiserate with her when she talked about how she wished she could find some mom friends. I didn't know motherhood could be lonely—not with a cute baby around all day, right?!

10. How long it takes to find yourself again

I thought perhaps becoming a mother meant that you finally became your true self. I didn't know that you needed time to reconnect with your core identity and revamp what is important to you, where your passions lie. I didn't know that "mother" wasn't just simply another hat to wear, like the "daughter" hat or "friend" hat. I didn't know she was embarking on this giant soul-searching adventure.

I now have three kids. I get it. In fact, I get it more and more each day I learn how to be a mom. I learn more with each new challenge, each new lesson and each new #momwin.

I think we'll all always be learning. And now? Now I not only have my older sister but I have one of my younger sisters learning alongside me too. And it has been an honor having them to walk with on this wild journey called motherhood.

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Need sixteen bandaids, three courses of snacks and a stain stick? Just ask the nearest mom. She'll hand you all that and ask if you'd like a fistful of baby wipes to help clean up afterward.

Mamas are the OG Mary Poppins. But that doesn't mean we want to carry giant carpet bags to prove it. When it comes to toting all the things mamas and little ones need, we want to do it in style. And forget diaper bags that look like diaper bags. We want a reliable and easy-to-organize bag that looks chic enough to carry it even without toddlers in tow. (Read: 26 Diaper Bags That Don't Look Like Diaper Bags)

Meet the impossibly stylish Stevie from Mina Baie. Motherly shoppers have been crushing on it for months and we wanted to let you in on the secret.


As sophisticated as it is practical, this spacious diaper bag is designed with every need in mind. First of all, while it may look like leather bags that cost three times more, it's made from a resilient and gorgeous vegan material that you don't have to feel precious about since it's easy to clean and hard to beat up. It also features a water-resistant lining that's ready for any sippy cup mishap that comes its way. The top-loading design, flush with a variety of interior and exterior pockets keeps everything orderly and accessible while the clever construction allows you to carry it as a backpack, tote or crossbody.

Mina Baie vegan stevie

Mina baie vegan stevie

The look and practicality are elevated by chunky hardware, a padded laptop sleeve and a luggage sleeve for slipping over a carry-on handle.

$142

It's the kind of bag that brings mamas together. You know, the kind of bag that makes a fellow playground spectator sidle up and ask you where you got it. (Isn't that just the best feeling ever?)

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Motherly created the flexible online birth class moms need

The Motherly Birth Class is completely online, which means you can take the class at your own pace.

Taking a birth class is a pregnancy milestone. Whether you've been excited to take a birth class for a long time or have just recently decided that you wanted to take one, sitting down for that first lesson feels big—spoiler alert, this is really happening! But finding time for a birth class isn't as easy as it would seem.

We know new parents are busy (hello, understatement of the year). Between diaper changes, pediatrician appointments, healing from birth and the general adjustment to #newparentlife, the days can fill up quickly. But a lot of people are caught off guard by how busy pregnancy can be, too! That first trimester is so often full of symptoms—like nausea and fatigue—that can make previously easy or simple tasks exhausting. The second trimester begins and (usually) we start to feel better. But then our days get filled with planning out baby registries and deciding on questions like, "Where will this tiny new human sleep?" And before you know it, it's the third trimester—and, well, then you're in the home stretch. Plus there are so many appointments!

All this to say that we get how busy you are—and how hard that might make it to fit in a birth class.

And that's why we created The Motherly Birth Class. The Motherly Birth Class is completely online, which means you can take the class at your own pace.


Think you'll want to watch each lesson a few times over? Great!

Due date's next week and you need the option to take a birth class very quickly? No problem!

Like everything at Motherly, we designed this class with you in mind.

Taught by Certified Nurse-Midwife Diana Spalding (who also wrote "The Motherly Guide to Becoming Mama"), this class is broken into 12 lessons—and you get to control how and when you watch them. We'll teach you about what your (amazing) body is up to in labor, how to decide when it's time to head to the hospital or birth center (or when to call your home birth midwife), what your options are for coping with pain and so much more.

When you sign up for The Motherly Birth Class, you'll get access to a downloadable workbook and meditations. Plus, you'll be invited to join our supportive private online community (where you can chat with the class instructor!)

Oh, one more thing: Your insurance or flexible spending account might even able to able to cover the cost of this class.

Pregnancy is wonderful—but it's a lot. You deserve a birth class that works for you and empowers you to have your best birth. Because vaginal or Cesarean, unmedicated or medication, birth is incredible. And you are the star of it all.

You've got this.

Sign up for The Motherly Birth Class today!

The Motherly Birth Class

pregnant-woman-looking-at-her-belly

Take our completely digital birth class from the comfort of your living room. We'll help you have your best birth—because you deserve it.

$79

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10 splurge-worthy items for your baby registry that are totally worth it

These are perfect for a group of friends or family to split.

One of the sweetest parts of a baby shower is gifting the mama-to-be with items that she probably would never splurge on herself. Maybe you're part of a group of friends or family who want to purchase a big-ticket surprise. Or, you want to spend a little extra on a gift you know she'll obsess over.

We've rounded up our top splurge-worthy items that mama and baby will love.


Motherly Timeless 5-in-1 Crib + Playhouse

Motherly Timeless 5-in-1 crib + playhouse

From first sleeps to the sleep-until-noon teenage days, this crib is designed to be there through it all. It grows right along with them from a crib to a toddler bed, day bed, play house and eventually a full-size bed.

$499

BOB Alterrain Jogging Stroller

Bob-alterrain-jogging-stroller

A jogging stroller is a must-have for an active family. We love this top-rated model from BOB, the brand that's synonymous with jogging strollers. It seamlessly goes on all terrains, from pavement to wooded trails. If mama already has her everyday stroller, this would make a great addition.

$599

Doona Infant Car Seat + Latch Base

Doona infant car seat + latch base

Doona is a car seat that transforms into a stroller in a matter of seconds. It's a thoughtful gift that will simplify mama's life without sacrificing on safety.

$549

SNOO Smart Sleeper Bassinet

snoo-smart-sleeper-bassinet

By combining gentle rocking with soothing white noise and snug, safe swaddling, SNOO creates a nearly fool-proof, safe sleep environment that parents (and babies!) swear by. Not only does it automatically respond to your baby's needs when it senses their fussing or crying, but it also helps teach little ones to self-soothe. It's the recipient of tons of awards and countless accolades from families who say it's actually changed their lives. That might sound like an overstatement, but when it comes to sleep, a solid night of it is nothing short of life-changing.

(Read more about why we think the Snoo is totally worth it!)

Willow Hands-Free Wearable Double Electric Breast Pump

Willow hands-free wearable double electric breast pump

If mama is going to try breastfeeding, a quality breast pump is an essential tool. Willow reinvents traditional pumping, making it easier than ever to pump on the go. As the first in-bra wearable pump, there's no need to worry about cords. Plus, it's spill-proof and quiet. (Learn more about why the Willow Pump is totally worth it!)

$499

Baby Björn Baby Carrier One Air in 3D Mesh

Baby Bj\u00f6rn baby carrier one air in 3D mesh

Customize your (and baby's!) comfort with the two-way padded, adjustable straps, lumbar support and built-in infant adapter. It features breathable mesh that keeps the temperature just right for you and baby. More to love? Three easy-to-adjust seat positions so you have plenty of options to create an ergonomic fit.

$220

Nanit Pro Smart Baby Monitor

nanit-pro

The Nanit merges mama instincts with your inner data nerd to help your baby sleep like, well, a baby. Their game-changing tech acts as a personal sleep trainer to track your baby's sleep, breathing, wake-ups and fussing and even how often you enter the room via an over-the-crib camera. The info that's gathered is synthesized to provide nightly reports, scores and tips that parents can use to improve. The camera itself captures real-time HD quality video and even allows you to create a digital scrapbook of the adorable moments caught on camera.

$249

Baby Brezza Formula Pro Advanced 

baby-brezza-formula-pro

The Baby Brezza is formula's best friend. It easily prepares formula so mama doesn't have to worry about mixing or measuring—simply place in the formula powder and water. With temperature control features, you can be sure it'll be ready for baby.

$199.99

4moms Mamaroo Baby Swing 

4moms mamaroo baby swing

When mama can't bounce baby (because she's tired, needs her hands free or just needs a break), the mamaRoo mimics that gentle rocking motion. We love that you can control the sound, motion and speed from your phone so you don't have to interrupt baby.

$239.99

Stokke tripp trapp chair with baby set

Stokke tripp trapp chair with baby set

With a beautiful Scandinavian design, the Tripp Trapp Chair will seamlessly blend into any home design. It features an ergonomic seating position and an adjustable back and footplate so a little can comfortably sit at the table for years to come. You can even add in a cushion for added comfort. While it's an investment, think of it as a piece of furniture versus another kid's item.

$319

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7 best humidifiers to help baby (and you!) breathe easier

From soothing illness to improving sleep it's a nursery must-have.

Canopy x Lalo

Throughout the year (but during the cooler months, especially), the dry air in our homes can make things tough for little bodies. Colds and congestion amplify and as any parent knows, listening to a tiny person struggle to breathe is too painful to bear. And living through a pandemic where every sniffle puts you into a tailspin, it's good to know a bit about all the tools you have at your disposal: like a baby humidifier for your nursery.

Do babies need humidifiers?

From mitigating eczema and battling respiratory illness to simply helping baby sleep better, a humidifier is registry must-have. Moist air can help improve upper respiratory discomforts as well as soothe sore throats while they get some much-needed rest. Not to mention, the added moisture also benefits their sensitive skin and provides a dreamy ambiance for sleep.

What to look for in a humidifier

While there are a variety of types on the market, humidifiers generally fall into two categories: warm mist and cool mist. Warm mist is often pointed to as quieter and cleaner than cool mist, but from a safety perspective, cool mist is preferred when it's going to be used around curious toddlers who could be burned by steam or hot water.

Humidifiers can also be defined by the way the humidity is created. There are ultrasonic models which use high-frequency sound vibrations to transform water particles into a cool, hydrating mist and evaporative models which leverage fans to do the job. Again, both styles have their place, but know that ultrasonic humidifiers are generally filter-less, quiet and efficient but do come with a higher price tag. Also, without a filter, families with hard water often bemoan fine white dust on furniture and surfaces which is caused by the minerals being dispersed along with the mist. It's harmless but annoying. Evaporative machines pull water through a water-saturated filter that removes those impurities as it runs. Their drawback, however, is the energy they require to work along with being markedly noisier.

But no matter what kind of humidifier for baby you decide on, the care of the unit is most important. Keeping your humidifier clean is paramount as they can quickly become the stuff of nightmares. (If you've ever cut open a squirty bath toy, you know the moldy horror show that can live inside.) Most models require emptying daily along with regular cleanings and disinfection.

We've rounded up the best baby humidifiers on the market today which are easy to clean and best suited for use in nurseries. (But if you want to use them in every room, no one's going to stop you!)


Canopy x Lalo Humidifier + Aroma Diffuser

Canopy X Lalo humidifier

We love a good collab and could not be more thrilled about this one in particular. (I mean, how can you not be excited about "the world's cleanest humidifier" pairing up with one of the most stylish baby gear brands around?) The no-mist design puts out filtered, hydrated air to moisturize skin and soothe baby's breathing while the built-in diffuser fills the nursery with calming scents thanks to pure essential oil blends. Their proprietary technology which uses a paper-based filter and embedded UV lights make it the only anti-mold humidifier on the market—talk about breathing easier, right? Additionally, the unit is quite easy to clean and even dishwasher safe. (#Blessed)

Reviewers say: "I've gone through many humidifiers and many diffusers. This is the best of both worlds. As a humidifier, it's SO easy to clean! That's the biggest pain in the butt to me. And it's QUIET! Oh so quiet. Then there's the added benefit of being a diffuser except you don't put the essential oil IN the water. You drip it on a stone that sits right on top of the air holes so there's no oil to clean up. This product is amazing. Truly." –John H.

$150

Crane Drop Ultrasonic Cool Mist Humidifier

Crane-humidifier

A favorite among parents, Crane's entire collection of humidifiers is a top choice in nurseries and throughout the house. The classic Drop is available in a variety of fun colors as well as some adorable animal shapes that marry function and style. Powered by ultrasonic technology, their cool-mist humidifier is whisper-quiet (since it doesn't depend on a fan to get the job done) and filter-free, giving you one less thing to think about. (They do offer an optional demineralization filter if your water is too harsh.) The one-gallon tank allows it to run for over 24 hours in a room up to 500 square feet and is easy to adjust via a knob on the front. Auto-shutoff has your back when the tank runs out and the award-winning design's mist lid allows you to send the mist in any direction.

Worried about cleaning? Don't be. The detachable bottom fill tank is made with clean control anti-microbial material, reducing mold and bacteria growth by up to 99.96%. Daily emptying and once-a-week disinfecting with basic white vinegar keeps it in tip-top shape!

The only complaint is the nightlight which does not shut off or adjust. If your little one needs a super dark environment you can always wrap it with one of the six dozen burp cloths you have lying around!

Reviewers say: "I bought my first crane drop humidifier when I was pregnant with my first child. I couldn't have made a better choice! 6 years later I still have the original & its still working great. Since then, I have bought 2 more in different colors and one replacement tank (I dropped it in the tub after filling it & it cracked). The tank is just the right size to last all night...even on the highest setting...but not so heavy that I can't fill it myself. The motor is quiet....quiet enough not to wake a newborn. I really love this product. I don't think there is a better basic humidifier out there."–Hol709

$54.99

Fridababy 3-in-1 Humidifier

frida-baby-3-1in-1-humidifier

How much do we love all things Frida? Since launching with the Nose Frida almost a decade ago, they've created an impressive portfolio of mom and baby products that solve some of the most intimate (and sometimes gross) parenting problems—including the 3-in-1 humidifier. With a design that functions as a nightlight and diffuser in addition to its prowess as a humidifier, it uses the power of ultrasonic vibration to keep babies comfortable in spaces up to 320 square feet. For parents who don't have the space or just hesitate to take up real estate with a giant hissing machine, this one is more compact than most (and almost totally silent!) The unit will run for 12 hours with an auto-shutoff when the tank is empty and a mist adjuster to customize output. The nightlight offers a range of soothing colors and the ability to turn it off altogether while the diffuser feature allows you to add the brand's vapor drops or any aromatherapy-grade essential oils. Next stop, Dreamland!

Reviewers say: "Fridababy always comes up with the most creative and useful products. The 3-in-1 humidifier, diffuser, nightlight is no exception. I love that I only need to use one appliance as my humidifier, diffuser and nightlight. It runs quietly, it's easy to clean, the diffuser works great and it's competitively priced. This will be my go-to baby shower gift.
It's an absolutely phenomenal product!"–Nowienono

$49.99

Vicks Filter-Free Ultrasonic Cool Mist Humidifier

Vicks Filter-Free Ultrasonic Cool Mist Humidifier

With no filter to replace and a powerful 1.2-gallon tank that can run for 30 hours, this hassle-free humidifier can soothe the entire family—not just baby! It's great for year-round moisturizing but really shines during cold and flu seasons with the addition of Vicks' VapoPads which fill the air with congestion-relieving magic. The wide tank opening and lack of nooks and crannies make it a cinch to clean which is also a huge plus in our book. ​

Reviewers say: "We got this for our baby who was sick with a stuffy nose. Previous Starlight one was very hard to keep clean and filled the room with a white fog. This one doesn't do that. You can see the mist coming out and helped with the stuffy nose and the dryness from running the heater during cold months. It's not as loud as I expected based on other reviews. Almost soothing. My 3-year-old kept turning it on without us knowing and it would run all day. The tank does last a few days when ran continuously. Of the 4 different ones we've owned this is my favorite. Filter-free makes cleaning a breeze."–Brittany

$39.86

Miro NR07G Humidifier

miro

Yes, it's one of the priciest on the list, but fans of the Miro say it's worth every penny. Created by a dad who felt that traditional humidifiers get too dirty, putting tiny lungs at risk, it's the only humidifier on the market that allows you to easily wash every square inch—a modern design that's as practical as it is stylish. The one-gallon tank can be filled via the open-top without having to stop the machine and can run for up to 24 hours at the lowest setting. It's also super quiet, equipped with an auto-shutoff and filter-free.

Reviewers say: "I am in love with these humidifiers! Yes, mama, you need them for peace of mind for your family. Every other humidifier I have tried has been impossible to fully clean, but this one is completely cleanable. No more icky humidifiers here! It's super quiet and it actually uses less water than my previous ones, so a gallon of distilled water can humidify a small to medium-sized bedroom during sleeping hours for 2-4 days before needing to be refilled. 🙌🏻 I recommend using distilled water as it reduces cleaning frequency. I clean ours weekly, but it never looks like it needs it.
I know it can be pricey for most families, but consider it an investment in your family's health. Anytime me or my kids have been congested or coughing, it's cleared up after just 1-2 nights of running the humidifier. It will pay for itself; because it's completely cleanable, it lasts longer, you won't be replacing it any time soon."–Southside Mommy

$125

Honeywell Easy to Care Cool Mist Humidifier HCM-710

Honeywell Easy to Care Cool Mist Humidifier HCM-710

​As Amazon's choice for easy to clean humidifiers, Honeywell checks all the boxes with their Cool Mist Humidifier. While filter-less styles are generally easier, this one more than makes up for it (and not just because the Wicking Filters inhibit up to 99.99 percent of mold growth!) The large tank allows it to run for up to 36 hours, and with only a couple of pieces to deal with, it truly is a breeze to clean. The open-top design can be filled without having to do anything but pour.

Reviewers say: "We bought this for our infant's room because other expensive humidifiers we had bought would usually die within a year do to the hard mineral content in our water. This humidifier is simple and works. We replace the wick every few months to remove the accumulated sediment. AND the best thing about this humidifier is the noise. When on high, it produces a smooth, consistent fan noise that has been the perfect white noise we needed for our son's room. If you don't want white, fan noise, don't get this, if you are looking for a humidifier that works and produces white noise, this is a great buy." K. Shorner-Johnson

$61.16


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Sometimes stories go viral because they make us smile, and sometimes they go viral because they make us think.

This week, a lot of the stories trending online have mamas talking about topics that are top of mind as Americans head to the polls.

From a dad giving birth to a Kamala Harris costume, these are the stories mamas are talking about this week:


These photos from a trans father’s home birth are stunning 😍

The moment a new baby enters the world changes everything for the adults and siblings who have spent nine months waiting to meet their little one. It's a beautiful, emotional moment that many families are choosing to document with birth photography.

During his fourth pregnancy, one transgender father decided to hire a photographer to capture the home birth of his son, Tig. Yuval Topper-Erez intended the keep the photos private, as a beautiful memento of the moment Tig joined their family, but recently decided to share that moment with the world.

"When I saw the photos I suddenly got the sense that they need to be out there, as they represent so well two causes very close to my heart: normalization of home birth and normalization of trans and non binary people giving birth," wrote Topper-Erez, in a touching Facebook post.

Tig was born in May 2019 in northern England after a "very rapid and intense labor." Two midwives, including Topper-Erez's partner, and the birth photographer were on hand for the experience.

"I hope, among other things, that this album will inspire birth workers and future seahorse dads (AKA gestational fathers,)" wrote Topper-Erez. "I know how meaningful images like this could have been for me before my first pregnancy and how meaningful it is for me to see images of fellow birthing trans and non binary people to this day."

Tig has two older siblings who slept through his home birth. "Our two older children were invited to join us for the birth but chose not to wake up and came to meet the new baby shortly after the birth was over," wrote Topper-Erez.

"I love when inspirational people share their births with the world and hoped that I could be that person for others," Topper-Erez told Romper. "Specifically, other trans people who have often been told that they could not be parents. I also was hoping my photos would start conversations among birth workers about the variety of birthing people and bodies."

Every family's birth experience is different. Whether it's at home or in a hospital, medicated or not, a simple or a complicated delivery—it's worth remembering that there's no one "right" way for a child to enter the world.

Why Pete Buttigieg's 'late-term abortion' comments are going viral

Pete Buttigieg is no longer on the campaign trail, but he is all over social media this week because checkmark users like Busy Phillips are sharing the way he shut down some misinformation about abortion.

Way back in May 2019, when Buttigieg was a running for the Democratic presidential nomination, he was asked during a Fox News town hall hosted by by Chris Wallace whether there should be a limit on a pregnant person's ability to access abortion.

Buttigieg's response was incredibly thoughtful and reflected the painful experiences of a small percentage of mothers who seek abortions later in pregnancy. "I think the dialogue has gotten so caught up on where you draw the line that we've gotten away from the fundamental question of who gets to draw the line and I trust women to draw the line when it's their own health," Buttigieg responded.

"Let's put ourselves in the shoes of a woman in that situation," Buttigieg said. "If it's that late in your pregnancy, then almost by definition, you've been expecting to carry it to term...[Families then] get the most devastating medical news of their lifetime, something about the health or the life of the mother or viability of the pregnancy that forces them to make an impossible, unthinkable choice."

According to Buttigieg, "The bottom line is, as horrible as that choice is...that decision is not going to be made any better, medically or morally, because the government is dictating how that decision should be made."

According to the CDC, 91% of abortions in America happen at or before 13 weeks gestation, and only 1.3% of abortions happen at or beyond 21 weeks of gestation. Abortion is a divisive topic, but it is one that America is talking about right now and we can't ignore the facts during the discussion.

That's why Buttigieg's comments have resurfaced and are going viral. This is a topic where nuance and continued discussion is important.

This 11-year-old dressed up like Kamala Harris + the internet loves it

When kids see people who look like them in positions of power they are able to imagine themselves in that spot, and 11-year-old Celeste Harley is proving it.

A video of the tween dressed up as vice-presidential candidate Kamala Harris is going viral. In the clip her mom tweeted, Celeste says: "When I become vice president, I want to help all the American people. I want to deliver health care for all, equality and justice under the law."

"I had to laugh," Celeste's mom, Erinn Harley, told ABC News. "Because I thought, 'Wow, she really has been studying Kamala Harris very closely, she even had that wave.'"

Harris is the first Black woman and the first woman of South Asian descent to be on a presidential campaign ticket. Whether or not you plan to vote for her, her presence in this election season matters a lot. Kids like Celeste prove it.

[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Pink's husband Carey Hart posts photos of daughter's gun lesson, explains why he's a Republican but voting for Biden 

Pink's husband Carey Hart has always been pretty open about his love of fire arms and how he's teaching the couple's kids, 9-year-old Willow and 3-year-old Jameson about responsible gun ownership.

Recently Hart posted a series of photos to his Instagram showing daughter Willow's gun lesson. In his caption he explained that he is "a firm believer in teaching [his] kids to shoot, but more importantly, handle a fire arm."

Hart's comment section and Twitter replies were full of hot takes, but none attracted more attention than his own. When a Twitter user said they were confused as to why Hart would "would support the democrats who have stated they will take our guns Unless only the rich will be allowed the privilage [sic]," Hart explained his political views.

"1st they don't want to take your guns, and why has none of the 44 before been able to take them??" Hart responded. "Second I'm a republican who hates Trump, so I have no choice."

Hart's parenting has always attracted attention online. Hopefully this latest controversy will get people to the polls (no matter who they plan to vote for).

[Editor's note: Motherly is committed to covering all relevant presidential candidate plans as we approach the 2020 election. We are making efforts to get information from all candidates. Motherly does not endorse any political party or candidate. We stand with and for mothers and advocate for solutions that will reduce maternal stress and benefit women, families and the country.]

Why this mom wants parents to stop saying 'our kids have lost so much' during the pandemic 

Mom and nurse Jesse Brunette is going viral this week after posting a Facebook message on Monday stating that she is over the phrase "our kids have already lost so much" being used in conversations about the pandemic.

As of this writing the post has more than 45,000 likes and thousands of comments. Brunette suggests parents need to frame the pandemic not as a loss, but as an opportunity for families.

She writes: "Using a current issue as an example, are kids really going to 'suffer' of they don't trick or treat? No. Only if WE (the adults) model a 'loss' mindset. What if, instead, families looked at it as a way to plan a really fun evening? Maybe doing a family art project, bobbing for apples in mixing bowls, packaging up sweet treats to door drop for neighbors, creating a spooky themed meal together."

Brunette's mindset shift may work for some families, especially those who are privileged enough to have not lost a friend or family member to COVID-19, and whose social lives and incomes have not been lost. It's hard to feel like you're learning or like the pandemic is an opportunity for growth when you're in that situation.

If you feel like this is a moment of loss for you, mama, that's okay. It's okay to feel that way.

If you feel like this is an opportunity to lean into a growth mindset, that's okay, too.

We're all experiencing this pandemic differently, and Brunette's viral post is a reminder of that.

The viral tantrum-ending trick parents are raving about: Popsicle showers

@i_marta via Twenty20

Parents of the internet are going wild this week for a new life hack that some say is practically guaranteed to tame a toddler tantrum.

Have you heard of popsicle showers, mama? 'Cause parents are swearing by them.

As first reported by CafeMom, the hack is simple: If your kiddo is feeling some big things, give them a popsicle and guide them to the bathroom for a tub or shower. Once they're in the warm water, holding onto a cool treat, they calm down.

The hack first went viral on Reddit, where one parent recently posted to r/Parenting, thanking the original poster for introducing the hack.

The post reads: "Parent of a 3 year 3 month old boy. Saw someone on here a few weeks ago post a thank you for an advice they saw awhile ago about putting their child into the bath/shower with a popsicle when they could not calm them down.

Thank you.

My son was having a horrible uncontrollable meltdown. He was yelling, throwing stuff, crying, running in and out the house, running in his room to cry..which turned into a scream. The wife tried to rock him and he was not having it. 30 mins go by and I remember this advice so I ran a warm bubble bath, grabbed a sugar free popsicle (that was all we had) and invited him into the bathtub with a popsicle as a lure. He cried as he took his [clothes] off and as soon as his toe touched the water, while holding his popsicle he stopped...

He sat in the tub eating his popsicle quietly.. and when he was done he was smiling and playing in the tub and still is as I write this. So again. Thank you."

So the next time you have trouble with a tantrum remember this recipe: Cool treat + warm water = calm kiddo.


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