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Let’s talk about (conception) sex, baby!

OB/GYN tips + tactics to get pregnant fast. 

Let’s talk about (conception) sex, baby!

Trying to conceive (#TTC) can be an all-consuming, frustrating and sometimes confusing journey. For many people, the tricky part of this whole process is that so much emphasis (and pressure) is placed on SEX. I cannot tell you how many of my patients have complained that scheduling sex robs the romance from their sex lives, and how a fun part of their relationships has become more like a chore.


With this in mind, I’ve decided to tackle the when, where, why and how of conception sex to lift some of the pressure you may be feeling and keep you focused on what matters most.


When?

The when is the most important piece of the process that is under your control. If you want all the finer details, see “6 Tips for Getting Pregnant Fast,” but I’ll give you a quick rundown here. ?

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Each month, about 14 days prior to your period, you ovulate one egg. This egg can live for about 24 hours, hoping to meet that one lucky sperm. Sperm, on the other hand, can live up to five days in the reproductive tract. This means that your “fertile window” is the five days prior to, and including the day of, ovulation. It is ideal to have sex every day or at least every other day during your fertile window.

If you’re using an ovulation predictor kit, you should have sex the day it turns positive and the day after. (OPKs detect the LH surge, which occurs 24 to 36 hours prior to ovulation, so you want those sperm ready to make the journey to meet your egg once you’ve ovulated.)

Where?

The where is a part of this process that gives you a chance to get creative and keep things spicy for you and your partner.

There is no evidence that sex in a certain place or in a certain position has any effect on your ability to conceive.

But if you’re going to be doing it, you might as well have a good time. ?

If your favorite place to make love is in your comfy bed, perfect. If you want to remember that your kiddo was conceived in the backyard, great. Trying new positions and locations can help to keep things fresh and exciting. Anywhere you’re both comfortable is an ideal spot.

Why?

My biggest encouragement for anyone trying to conceive is to remember the reason for all of this—you want to share your life with your own tiny human. This beautiful truth can become lost in the hustle, so try to keep that purpose and hope front and center as best you can. ?

There is some evidence that stress hurts fertility, so healthy habits that help you de-stress are incredibly important when you’re trying to conceive. Go on a date with your partner, exercise, start a journal, get a massage or a manicure, take a cooking class together—anything that helps you relax and enjoy this part of the process.

How?

The how of sex for conception is a topic filled with myth and misinformation, which turn this fun process into a seemingly high-stakes event.

As mentioned above, there is absolutely zero data at this time to suggest one sex position is better than another in helping you get pregnant. From an OB-GYN’s perspective, the best sex positions are the ones that are most comfortable and enjoyable for you. It’s that simple. You may have heard that missionary is the best position because of the pelvic tilt, alignment of the cervix and gravity. While this seems to make sense, there is no proof that missionary position is better than any other... but why not try it?

You might also enjoy the intimacy of spooning, or maybe you find that you have more fun with doggy-style or woman-on-top positions.

There is no wrong answer, so choose your own adventure!

While there is no strong proof for this, you may want to cuddle in bed for five to 10 minutes post-sex to keep the sperm “in” for a little longer than you may normally. If you only have time for a quickie, though, don’t worry. Sperm are fast swimmers and can make it to the egg in under five minutes! ?

It’s also important to know that some lubricants (K-Y, Astroglide, saliva, olive oil) can make sperm move more slowly or decrease their ability to survive, so it is best to avoid them if possible during your fertile window. Sperm-friendly options include mineral oil, canola oil and Pre-Seed, so opt for one of these if you need lubricant.

The most important factors in your #TTC journey are to get your timing right and enjoy yourself. Waiting for results can be frustrating, but remember that the fun is in the process.


Resources:
www.reproductivefacts.org
www.asrm.org

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14 outdoor toys your kids will want to play with beyond summer

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.

$30

Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!

$75

Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.

$40

Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.

$120

Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.

$30

Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.

$100

Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.

$40

Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.

$121

Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.

$100

Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.

$45

Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.

$179

Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.

$100

Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.

$33

Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.

$88

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Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Earth Mama: Effective, natural herbal care for mamas and babies

Founded and grown in her own garage in 2002, Earth Mama started as an operation of one, creating salves, tinctures, teas and soaps with homegrown herbs. With a deep desire to bring the healing powers of nature that have been relied on for thousands of years to as many mamas as possible, Melinda Olson's formulas quickly grew into Earth Mama Organics. Since then, the brand has remained committed to manufacturing clean, safe and effective herbal solutions for the entire journey of motherhood, including pregnancy, breastfeeding and baby care, and even the loss of a baby.

Bravado Designs: Soothing sounds for a good night's sleep

With 28 years of serving pregnant and postpartum mamas under their belt, Bravado Designs is a true authority on the needs of changing bodies. It's true that we have them to thank for rescuing us from the uncomfortable and frumpy designs our own moms had to live with. Launched in Canada by two young mamas, they designed the first prototypes with extra leopard print fabric certain that a better bra was possible. Throughout the years they've maintained their commitment to ethical manufacturing while creating long-lasting products that truly work.

The Sill: Instagram-ready potted plants

We've long admired this female-founded brand and the brilliant mind behind it, Eliza Blank. (She even joined Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety on and episode of The Motherly Podcast!) The mission behind the business was simple: To make the process of bringing plants into your home as easy as possible, and as wonderful as the plant themselves. With their in-house, exclusively designed minimalist planters, the end result makes plant parenthood just a few clicks away.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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Becoming a mother has been life-changing. It's been hard, tiring, gratifying, beautiful, challenging, scary and a thousand other things that only a parent would ever understand.

It is these life-changing experiences that have inspired me to draw my everyday life as a stay at home mom. Whether it's the mundane tasks like doing laundry or the exciting moments of James', my baby boy's, first steps, I want to put it down on paper so that I can better cherish these fleeting moments that are often overlooked.

Being a stay-at-home-mom can be incredibly lonely. I like to think that by drawing life's simple moments, I can connect with other mothers and help them feel less alone. By doing this, I feel less alone, too. It's a win-win situation and I have been able to connect with many lovely parents and fellow parent-illustrators through my Instagram account.

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