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True life: Marriage is feeling lucky + annoyed all in the same day

Marriage is equal parts the merging of two lives and the merging of two families, two pasts, two different childhoods, too.


It’s equal parts a dreamland where you get to watch your partner hold your newborn baby for the first time and equals parts regular, everyday life where we get annoyed at each other for losing the remote because the deeper issue at hand is that we got a combined four hours of sleep last night because of aforementioned newborn child and we’re both exhausted.

It’s equal parts amazing and hard work.

It’s also equal parts hilarious and well, real.

Marriage is equal parts…

Hearing, “You are the most beautiful woman in the world.” AND “Did your hair clog up the shower again?!”

Saying, “Thank you so much for folding all this laundry! You are the best.” AND “I don’t understand why you can’t shut the cabinets after you’re done with something...”

Saying, “I really couldn’t do this without you. Thank goodness we’re in this together.” AND “Can you PLEASE stop chewing like THAT?”

Thinking, There’s no man sexier than mine and also, Wow, I truly don’t understand how his feet could smell this bad. I hope he is okay...

Saying, “You are so helpful! I love you!” And thinking to yourself, I wish someone else would think of all the million to-do’s in my head.

Saying, “Let’s go away without the kids! Just us.” AND “Do you really think we could do it? I think we’d miss them. Maybe it's too much. We can do it in a few years.”

Looking at each other during the madness of that pre-bedtime hour while your kids run around like maniacs and you’re smiling so big because this life makes you both so very happy. AND looking at each other during the madness of that pre-bedtime hour while your kids run around like maniacs and you’re both near tears because you’re equally exhausted and no one is listening and you just want them to go to sleep.

Getting really excited for a date night together because...finally! AND not exactly dreading date night, but not exactly mustering up enough energy and enthusiasm to get showered and dressed and out the door either.

Being on the same page about something as simple as watching five episodes of The Office before bed AND not being on the same page about something so simple as what brand of peanut butter you should buy.

Not agreeing on One. Single. Movie. out of the millions of movies available to rent but definitely agreeing on the fact that Emily Blunt and John Krasinski would play the movie version of you guys if they should ever feel so inclined...

Saying, “Can you please rock her to sleep? I feel like I was just up with her,” AND waking up saying, “Oh my goodness! I slept through the night! Did everyone sleep through the night?” Only to hear about their night. They got up with each kid at least once but wanted you to be able to rest, so didn’t wake you.

Saying, “Okay let’s divide and conquer. You change the pee sheets. I’ll wash her off and get her new jams,” AND begging one person to please just take care of it and you’ll do it next time.

Hearing your partner say, “I don’t know how you do it all! You’re amazing.” AND “HOW IN THE WORLD IS YOUR CAR THIS MESSY?!”

Thinking, Man I really lucked out with him. Look at him dancing with the girls in that tutu! AND then If this roughhousing episode ends in an ER visit, I am NOT going to be happy.

Giving him that ‘knowing look’ when it’s time time make some magic. AND also when you’re ‘knowing look’ means to cut the crap.

Marriage is equal parts fun and hard work and inspiration and teamwork and compromise. But it’s always 100% love.

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14 sweet 'just thinking of you' gifts for every mama

A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs.

Who says you have to wait for birthdays or holidays to give your bestie a great gift? A sweet surprise that tells her you've been thinking of her might be the pick-me-up she needs in these more-than-trying times. We've rounded up some of our favorite go-to gifts that are certain to be a bright spot in her week. But be warned, you may want to snag a few for yourself. (You deserve it, mama.)

Here are some our favorite "just because" gifts to give our hardworking mama friends.

New Mother face + body care duo

volition face + body care duo

This correcting oil and stretch mark minimizer is perfect for the pregnant mama looking to keep her pregnancy glow. The correcting oil brightens the skin while reducing dark spots, and the stretch mark minimizer works to smooth her ever-growing belly.

$70

Allover roller

esker allover roller

This jade roller goes beyond your typical face roller and can be used anywhere on the body. It works to increase stimulation and reduce puffiness and is perfect for applying any oils to the face or body. Plus, it feels like a mini spa treatment.

$65

Kombucha making kit

farmsteady kombucha making kit

What could be a more perfect gift for the health-obsessed friend? This kombucha making kit comes with everything you need to brew your own homemade green tea kombucha. They'll think this is the tastiest gift ever.

$45

Laetitia lipstick

cupid & psyche laetitia

This red lipstick is perfect for your makeup enthusiast bestie who is looking to spruce up her life in quarantine. Crafted in the United States, these bee and vegan-friendly and cruelty-free lipsticks are created to flatter all complexions. Cupid and Psyche Beauty makes finding the perfect red lip way too easy!

$23

Jigsaw puzzle

inner piecec jigsaw puzzle

Mamas need to destress now more than ever during quarantine. This adorable jigsaw puzzle is perfect for the mama who needs a brain break! The 500-piece puzzle designed by artist Ray Oranges features an abstract gradient design that fits a standard frame when completed. Bonus: It's printed on recycled paper and the company donates $1 from every puzzle sold to youth mindfulness programs.

$30

Matilda's Bloombox

matilda's bloombox

If we have to be stuck inside, we might as well have some gorgeous florals to brighten up the space. Matilda's Bloombox locally sources blooms, delivers them to her door and provides simple tips on how to arrange it into a beautiful bouquet.

$39

'I Am Enough' bracelet

I Am Enough bracelet

Let this dainty bracelet serve as a constant reminder to your bestie that she is enough. She'll wear this on her wrist and read this daily oath to herself, "I Am Enough."

$35

Glow assorted teas

vahdam low assorted teas

This tea gift box set covers the entire spectrum of flavors from sweet to spicy. Individually packaged in beautiful tins, your gal pal will feel like a queen sipping her morning tea. Originally $40, this set is currently on sale for just $24. We'll take two, please.

$24

Find your voice journal

find your voice journal

Journaling is a great way to ease anxiety and will slow your bestie's racing mind before bed. This gift is perfect for first time journalists and includes prompts, daily quotes and coloring pages to help her unlock her potential and find her voice.

$22

Premium frother

shore magic premium frother

This gift is fitting for your latte-sipping bestie who can't go a day without her coffee. All she has to do is add two scoops of collagen to her favorite drink, and she'll have a perfectly foamy drink ready in seconds. Skipping the drive-thru line has never been so easy!

$25

Bath soak infusion kit

maude bath soak infusion kit

Say hello to hydration! She'll be feeling smooth and relaxed as ever after a long bath soaking in these salts. This vegan + cruelty-free set incorporates dead sea salt and dehydrated coconut milk powder for an ultra hydrating experience.

$32

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

Tiny Tags 'mama' necklace

It's a hard-earned title she answers to a hundred times per day. Whether she's new to the club or a seasoned professional, this delicate script 'mama' necklace is guaranteed to be a perfect fit.

$105

Superfood honey

Beekeeper's Naturals B.Powered honey

With a lack of sleep and jam-packed days, getting through the afternoon can be a real challenge. Send her a powerful pick-me-up in the form of a therapeutic blend of royal jelly, bee pollen, propolis and raw honey. It makes the ideal companion for tea, smoothies, yogurt or even on its on.

$17

Calming midnight mask with melatonin

Who doesn't deserve a reminder to pamper themself every once in awhile? Even better, this mask does all its work at night while you're sleeping with no extra effort needed. It's an amazing plant-powered antioxidant-packed mask that has melatonin, wild dandelion leaf and hyaluronic acid to rehydrate, repair and reset facial skin. It's so good, you might want to gift it to yourself. We won't tell, mama.

$68

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This incredibly soft comforter from Sunday Citizen is like sleeping on a cloud

My only complaint? I've slept through my alarm twice.

When it comes to getting a good night's sleep, there are many factors that, as a mama, are hard to control. Who's going to wet the bed at 3 am, how many times a small person is going to need a sip of water, or the volume of your partner's snoring are total wildcards.

One thing you can control? Tricking out your bed to make it as downright cozy as possible. (And in these times, is there anywhere you want to be than your bed like 75% of the time?)

I've always been a down comforter sort of girl, but after a week of testing the ridiculously plush and aptly named Snug Comforter from Sunday Citizen, a brand that's run by "curators of soft, seekers of chill" who "believe in comfort over everything," it's safe to say I've been converted.

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This viral post about the 4th trimester is exactly what new mamas need right now

"We are alone. Together. You are surrounded all the other mothers who are navigating this tender time in isolation. You are held by all of us who have walked the path before you and who know how much you must be hurting. You are wrapped in the warm embrace of mama earth, as she too settles into this time of slowness and healing."

Artist and teacher Catie Atkinson at Spirit y Sol recently shared a beautiful drawing of a new mom crying on a couch—leaking breasts, newborn baby, pile of laundry and what we can only assume is cold coffee, included. Everything about the image is so real and raw to me—from the soft stomach to the nursing bra and the juxtaposition of the happy wallpaper to the palpable vulnerability of the mother—I can almost feel the couch underneath me. I can feel the exhaustion deep in this woman's bones.

My heart feels the ache of loneliness right alongside hers. Because I remember. I remember the confusion and uncertainty and love and messy beauty of the fourth trimester so well. After all, it's etched in our minds and bodies forever.

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