'Mom grudges' are powerful.
"Well, after all these years I have just 7 words to say to you: 'Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!'"
Her message resonated with parents around the world.
This goes out to the bully punks at Camp WTF who made life miserable for a certain cabin-mate back in the the summe… https://t.co/drMKcCmK26— deb d (@deb d) 1612622041.0
"Love a mom with a grudge list of people who were mean to their kid. I have mine and it will go with me to my grave. My queer kid is amazing. Just like yours," one woman tweeted.
Another responded, "Mama bears never forget those that hurt their kids. I will always remember the bullies who hurt my kind, smart girls who push for equity and love in the world."
Yet another mom replied, "It's so funny. I never realized I had a grudge against those little brat twins who bullied my daughter cause she was different till just now. They're in their 30's now and I still feel like I could slap them!!"
It's just so painfully true.
When someone hurts your child, do you ever really get over it?
You hope your child will, of course. You tell them how special they are, how loved they are. You tell them that person's wrong or unkind.
You might encourage your kid to take the high road. Ignore them, you say. Their opinions don't matter.
You hope that when your child looks back on the incident, he barely remembers it. It was just a blip in the years of his life, outweighed by all the good.
But as a parent? As a mother?
Mom grudges are real.
It's hard to move past the pain caused to your child.
You feel helpless. You can't make kids be nicer. You can't make classmates accept your beautiful child for who she is.
So you do what you can. You try to fill her with enough love to combat the cruel words. You wrap your child in your arms and support and hope that it's enough.
Sometimes you make a mental note. Even as you encourage your kid to move past the unkindness, you know you won't.
You won't forget.
To be clear, we're not advocating for hate or unkind words. We're not telling moms to carry a notebook and keep score of all their child's arguments with friends.
We're saying that when it comes to our kids, we understand carrying those fierce emotions.
We understand that even as your child grows older, you might feel that pain as acutely as your kid did years ago.
We hurt for our children. It's hard to let that hurt go.
Should moms hold grudges against their child's bullies forever? Is it the healthiest thing?
But we're not here to pass judgment. We're just here to say that we get it.
And if the tens of thousands of responses to Deborah Divine's tweet are any indication, we think you might get it, too.
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