This mom makes her teen son’s bed every morning—is she in the wrong?

If there’s one thing every parent can agree on, it’s that teenagers should help out around the house. But one mom decided she was going to flip the script and do a small chore each day to help out her teenager instead, and now she’s facing a ton of backlash online. Do you agree with her reasoning?

Shannon Tarkey posted a video to Instagram explaining why she decided to start making her teenage son’s bed for him each day.

“I started doing this every morning after I drop him off at school,” she wrote. “Not because he won’t, and not because I do everything for him. He has his own chores, and has been taught his entire life to clean up after himself. But when he’s getting himself up early in the mornings and rushing off to school this is something I’ve come to enjoy doing for him.”

She continued, “This way when he gets home he can get his homework done in his room and just relax. There’s plenty of other things Austin helps out with around the house, and I can only imagine what it’s like being a teenager in today’s world. It is my job to make my children feel at peace so if it’s picking up a few pieces of clothes or making his bed then I am more than happy to do it for him.”

So what I’m reading is that her teenage son is a good student who does his homework, cleans up after himself, and helps out around the house. Despite all of that, in the comments, other parents absolutely lit Tarkey up for this small act of kindness she does for her son.

“Ooooh he gonna make his wife so furious one day expecting a clean house but not helping,” one commenter wrote.

Another added, “Although this is very kind and sweet of you, when he gets married he will think this is also what his wife should do for him. I married a man who thought I was supposed to be just like his mom. It took many years for my husband to learn to serve in the home.”

One self-righteous mom wrote, “My kids made their own beds when they got up in the morning this is ridiculous were supposed to set an example. My kids also did other chores every day.”

Another weighed in, “And now you’re teaching him that that is his wife’s job in the future. I get loving our kids but there also comes a point where you teach them how to be responsible for their own peace and not expect others to cater to them.”

And this one in particular made me see red: “You’re feeling pretty good about yourself and I hate to tell you this, but you’re setting your son up to be an adult who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves.”

When I was growing up, my parents thought that if they showed their kids any kindness or empathy, we would grow up not knowing how to take care of ourselves. You know what actually happened? We grew up to be cripplingly self-reliant, not knowing how to ask for (or even accept) help. In my mid-30s, I still have a hard time accepting kindness from others, because I always wonder what strings are attached. How I wish I had had a mom who saw that I was a hardworking, straight-A student and did kind things like this to make my life easier sometimes.

To her credit, Tarkey hit back at the naysayers in the comments and defended herself and her son.

“To those saying I’m ‘babying him’ — My son also hunts, fishes, sweeps, vacuums, keeps his room organized, and takes care of our animals. He probably knows more life skills than most grown men in today’s society so don’t waste your breath with negative comments,” she wrote. “If my son was not responsible & hardworking I would expect him to make his bed every morning himself. But because he is very hardworking and helps out with whatever we need around the home this is something I’ve come to enjoy doing for him as a small act of love. The comments about him needing to do it on his own are irrelevant to me because my son already knows what hard work and responsibility is.”