What doulas want you to know about giving birth

Doulas are wise women.

Think of them like birth coaches who support women through the labor and delivery process. Though not medical experts, they have helped hundreds (sometimes thousands!) of women through their births. Doulas provide many benefits, including helping women avoid unnecessary C-sections. Through their work, doulas have learned more than almost anyone about what it takes to help you have a beautiful birth.

Here’s what your doula wants you to know about birth.

1. Pleasure is possible.

Of course labor is hard work. But it is possible to blend the pain of childbirth with the pleasure of the experience, explains doula Angela Gallo. By bonding with your partner, and enjoying what you can of the experience, birth can be a beautiful event. Angela explains:

“Don’t underestimate the powers of pleasure in pregnancy and labor. In times of stress, anxiety or when you may be filled with uncertainty, self-doubt and fear of the unknown, remember this. Pleasure is your best friend and secret weapon. Happiness that may be inspired by a kiss, your favorite smell or a big belly chuckle from your favorite joke. Whatever it is, smile and smile BIG. Melt away in that pleasure. Let it consume you. Let it break down your walls. Let the ethereal, organic sensuality of birth wash over you. Bring your partner in close. Touch him. Touch yourself. Eat some chocolate. Get a hug. Give a hug. Let the oxytocin flow and let the endorphins catapult you to that moment you meet your baby.”

2. Your birth belongs to you.

Even when you work with a doula, you remain in charge of your birth, explains Nina Spears of The Baby Chick:

That’s a theme that Tara Brooke of Doula Trainings International echoes as well:

3. Remember: You were made for this.

Even if you’ve never given birth before, it’s important for women to focus on the fact that your body knows what to do. Our culture is full of scary stories and images about birth (does your idea of what happens during the birth process come from an over-dramatized Hollywood movie?), but the truth is, your body knows how to birth.

This quote from birth advocate Ina May Gaskin inspires many mamas and doulas:

4. It’s all about the breath.

Birth doula Tiff Delancy wants mamas to know that getting through labor is all about paying attention to the breath:

5. All birth is beautiful.

Whether you have a C-section, a planned epidural or an unmedicated childbirth, birth photographer Monet Moutrie wants you to know that there is beauty in every birth.

“Birth can be one moment in your life where you’re able to fully sink into yourself and find that at the core of your being is an overwhelming beauty,” she says. “A beauty that is bigger than wrinkles or a dress size. A beauty that doesn’t rely on superficial standards that none of us can meet.”

6. Prep for postpartum, too.

Mothers understandably get quite caught up in the birth process, so they sometimes don’t take the time to prepare for the much longer transition: the postpartum period.

Postpartum doula Maryann Kamitian says the most important thing you should do for the long haul is to prepare for postpartum.

“The most important piece of advice I can offer a soon-to-be-mom is to have a support system for after having a baby. I think some moms have a hard time asking for help, but during the postpartum period it’s essential,” she says. “New moms will have lots of adjustments after bringing baby home, and it’s a lot to get used to. Having help in many directions can make things much smoother and happy for mom.”

You’ve got this.