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Joni Reinkemeyer

This baby was 'born twice'—and it's just as amazing as it sounds

Birthday cake is meant for that one special day a mama will never forget, but one little boy in Missouri certainly deserves the right to birthday cake twice a year—and mama Joni Reinkemeyer says she won't hesitate to grant those wishes.


"People have asked if he will have two birthdays," she tells The Sun of her son, Jackson, now (officially) 4 months old. "Seeing that he was born twice, I think we can allow him two cakes."

Although the payoff sounds sweet enough for little Jackson, the circumstances that led to the two birthdays were harrowing—and ultimately miraculous: During her 19-week anatomy scan, Reinkemeyer explains doctors determined that the baby had spina bifida, a condition where a gap forms in the fetus's spine during development.

After consulting with medical professionals at the Barnes-Jewish Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri, Reinkemeyer and her boyfriend, Chris Skain, agreed to a unique procedure where doctors would "deliver" the baby, perform an operation to close the gap and then return him to Reinkemeyer's womb for the rest of the gestation period.

"Consideration for open-fetal surgery involves a detailed evaluation of both the baby and the mother to be sure that they meet the criteria for surgery and it is the right procedure for them," says Dr. Michael Bebbington, a maternal-fetal medicine specialist, at Barnes-Jewish Hospital. "The procedure that Jackson had has probably been done a few hundred times worldwide."

Despite the risks of prematurity or death, Reinkemeyer and Skein decided it was the best hope for their son. "After carefully thinking, Chris and I decided we had to take a chance," she recalls. "If it could help our baby live an easier life, we wanted to do it."

The operation was scheduled for the end of the second trimester, when doctors hoped baby Jackson would be big enough to survive if he wasn't able to return to Reinkemeyer's womb.

"Because it had never been done before, they had duplicates of each role including two anesthesiologists for me and Jackson, two neurosurgeons and a whole NICU team. My little boy weighed just 1 lb at the time," Reinkemeyer tells The Sun. "Doctors drained the amniotic fluid from his spine, and then stitched up the hole."

As delicate as the situation was, it went off seamlessly and baby Jackson continued to grow for another 10 weeks while Reinkemeyer stayed on bed rest nearby the hospital. He was then delivered for a second time in early 2018—small, but strong and healed from the gap in his spine.

"I was in love from the moment I saw him. When I first heard his scary diagnosis, I wish I had known how wonderful he would be—it would have taken all my fears away," Reinkemeyer says. "Jackson is doing so well now, despite having been through so much in his little life."

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When you become a parent for the first time, there is an undeniably steep learning curve. Add to that the struggle of sorting through fact and fiction when it comes to advice and—whew—it's enough to make you more tired than you already are with that newborn in the house.

Just like those childhood games of telephone when one statement would get twisted by the time it was told a dozen times, there are many parenting misconceptions that still tend to get traction. This is especially true with myths about bottle-feeding—something that the majority of parents will do during their baby's infancy, either exclusively or occasionally.

Here's what you really need to know about bottle-feeding facts versus fiction.

1. Myth: Babies are fine taking any bottle

Not all bottles are created equally. Many parents experience anxiety when it seems their infant rejects all bottles, which is especially nerve wracking if a breastfeeding mom is preparing to return to work. However, it's often a matter of giving the baby some time to warm up to the new feeding method, says Katie Ferraro, a registered dietician, infant feeding specialist and associate professor of nutrition at the University of California San Francisco graduate School of Nursing.

"For mothers returning to work, if you're breastfeeding but trying to transition to bottle[s], try to give yourself a two- to four-week trial window to experiment with bottle feeding," says Ferraro.

2. Myth: You either use breast milk or formula

So often, the question of whether a parent is using formula or breastfeeding is presented exclusively as one or the other. In reality, many babies are combo-fed—meaning they have formula sometimes, breast milk other times.

The advantage with mixed feeding is the babies still get the benefits of breast milk while parents can ensure the overall nutritional and caloric needs are met through formula, says Ferraro.

3. Myth: Cleaning bottles is a lot of work

For parents looking for simplification in their lives (meaning, all of us), cleaning bottles day after day can sound daunting. But, really, it doesn't require much more effort than you are already used to doing with the dishes each night: With bottles that are safe for the top rack of the dishwasher, cleaning them is as easy as letting the machine work for you.

For added confidence in the sanitization, Dr. Brown's offers an incredibly helpful microwavable steam sterilizer that effectively kills all household bacteria on up to four bottles at a time. (Not to mention it can also be used on pacifiers, sippy cups and more.)

4. Myth: Bottle-feeding causes colic

One of the leading theories on what causes colic is indigestion, which can be caused by baby getting air bubbles while bottle feeding. However, Dr. Brown's bottles are the only bottles in the market that are actually clinically proven to reduce colic thanks to an ingenious internal vent system that eliminates negative pressure and air bubbles.

5. Myth: Bottles are all you can use for the first year

By the time your baby is six months old (way to go!), they may be ready to begin using a sippy cup. Explains Ferraro, "Even though they don't need water or additional liquids at this point, it is a feeding milestone that helps promote independent eating and even speech development."

With a complete line of products to see you from newborn feeding to solo sippy cups, Dr. Brown's does its part to make these new transitions less daunting. And, for new parents, that truly is priceless.

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

The bottle warmer has long been a point of contention for new mamas. Hotly debated as a must-have or superfluous baby registry choice, standard models generally leave new moms underwhelmed at best.

It was time for something better.

Meet the Algoflame Milk Warmer, a digital warming wand that heats beverages to the perfect temperature―at home and on the go. And like any modern mama's best friend, the Algoflame solves a number of problems you might not have even known you needed solved.

As with so many genius gadgets, this one is designed by two parents who saw a serious need. It's currently a Kickstarter raising money for production next year, but here are 10 unexpected ways this brilliant device lends a hand―and reasons why you should consider supporting its launch.

1. It's portable.

Every seasoned mama knows that mealtime can happen anywhere. And since you're unlikely to carry a clunky traditional milk warmer in your diaper bag, the Algoflame is your answer. The super-light design goes anywhere without weighing down your diaper bag.

2. It's battery operated.

No outlets necessary. Simply charge the built-in battery before heading out, and you're ready for whatever (and wherever) your schedule takes you. (Plus, when you contribute to the Kickstarter you can request an additional backup battery for those days when your errands take all.day.long.)

3. It's compact.

Even at home, traditional bottle warmers can be an eyesore on the countertop. Skip the bulky model for Algoflame's streamlined design. The warmer is about nine inches long and one inch wide, which means you can tuck it in a drawer out of sight when not in use.

4. It's waterproof.

No one likes taking apart bottle warmers to clean all the pieces. Algoflame's waterproof casing can be easily and quickly cleaned with dish soap and water―and then dried just as quickly so you're ready to use it again.

5. It has precise temperature control.

Your wrist is not a thermometer―why are you still using it to test your baby's milk temperature? Algoflame lets you control heating to the optimal temperature for breastmilk or formula to ensure your baby's food is safe.

6. It's fool-proof.

The LED display helps you know when the milk is ready, even in those bleary-eyed early morning hours. When the right temperature is reached, the wand's display glows green. Too hot, and it turns red (with a range of colors in between to help you determine how hot the liquid is). Now that's something even sleep-deprived parents can handle.

7. It's adaptable.

Sized to fit most bottles and cups on the market, you never have to worry about whether or not your bottles will fit into your warmer again.

8. It's multipurpose.

If you're a mom, chances are your cup of coffee is cold somewhere right now. The Algoflame has you covered, mama! Simply pop the wand into your mug to reheat your own beverage no matter where you are.

9. You can operate it with one hand.

From getting the milk warmer out to heating your baby's beverage, the entire wand is easy to activate with one hand―because you know you're holding a fussing baby in the other!

10. It's safe.

Besides being made from materials that comply with the FDA food contact safety standard, Algoflame boasts a double safety system thanks to its specially designed storage case. When put away in the case, the built-in magnetic safe lock turns the milk warmer to power-off protection mode so it won't activate accidentally. Additionally, the warmer's "idle-free design" prevents the heater from being accidentally activated out of the case.

To get involved and help bring the Algoflame Milk Warmer to new mamas everywhere, support the brand's Kickstarter campaign here.

This article is sponsored by Algoflame Milk Warmer. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Three was not enough for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. Mom and dad to North, Saint and Chicago are expecting again.

The story broke earlier this month, but this week Kim appeared on "Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen" and confirmed everything People and E! have been attributing to inside Kardashian sources.

Host Andy Cohen, a father-to-be himself, asked Kim to confirm if the leaked sex of the baby was also accurate.

    "It's a boy," Kim told him, revealing that she's the accidental source of the leak. "It's out there. I got drunk at our Christmas Eve party, and I told some people, but I can't remember who I told."

    Like Chicago, this baby will be born via surrogate, and Kim says he's due quite soon.

    Kim has previously talked about how the decision to grow her family through gestational surrogacy was a hard one, but the only one that made sense for her after two difficult pregnancies.

    "Anyone that says or thinks it is just the easy way out is just completely wrong. I think it is so much harder to go through it this way, because you are not really in control," she told Entertainment Tonight when expecting Chicago.

    "Obviously you pick someone that you completely trust and that you have a good bond and relationship with, but it is still … knowing that I was able to carry my first two babies and not my baby now, it's hard for me," she explained at the time.

    One of six kids herself, it's not surprising that Kim wants a large family (considering how close she is with her siblings) and, according to Kim, Kanye's been campaigning for more children for a while.

    "Kanye wants to have more, though. He's been harassing me," Kardashian said on a 2018 episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. "He wants like seven. He's like stuck on seven."

    Four is still pretty far from seven, but maybe Kanye and Kim will compromise a bit on family size. Kim has previously said four children would be her limit.

    [Update: This post was originally published on January 2, 2019. It was updated when Kardashian confirmed the news.]

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    Toxic masculinity is having a cultural moment. Or rather, the idea that masculinity doesn't have to be toxic is having one.

    For parents who are trying to raise kind boys who will grow into compassionate men, the American Psychological Association's recent assertion that "traditional masculinity ideology" is bad for boys' well-being is concerning because our kids are exposed to that ideology every day when they walk out of then house or turn on the TV or the iPad.

    That's why a new viral ad campaign from Gillette is so inspiring—it proves society already recognizes the problems the APA pointed out, and change is possible.

    We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film) youtu.be

    Gillette's new ad campaign references the "Me Too" movement as a narrator explains that "something finally changed, and there will be no going back."

    If may seem like something as commercial as a marketing campaign for toiletries can't make a difference in changing the way society pressures influence kids, but it's been more than a decade since Dove first launched its Campaign for Real Beauty, and while the campaign isn't without criticism, it was successful in elevating some of the body-image pressure on girls but ushering in an era of body-positive, inclusive marketing.

    Dove's campaign captured a mainstream audience at a time when the APA's "Guidelines for Psychological Practice with Girls and Women" were warning psychologists about how "unrealistic media images of girls and women" were negatively impacting the self-esteem of the next generation.

    Similarly, the Gillette campaign addresses some of the issues the APA raises in its newly released "Guidelines for the Psychological Practice with Boys and Men."

    According to the APA, "Traditional masculinity ideology has been shown to limit males' psychological development, constrain their behavior, result in gender role strain and gender role conflict and negatively influence mental health and physical health."

    The report's authors define that ideology as "a particular constellation of standards that have held sway over large segments of the population, including: anti-femininity, achievement, eschewal of the appearance of weakness, and adventure, risk, and violence."

    The APA worries that society is rewarding men who adhere to "sexist ideologies designed to maintain male power that also restrict men's ability to function adaptively."

    That basically sounds like the recipe for Me Too, which is of course its own cultural movement.

    Savvy marketers at Gillette may be trying to harness the power of that movement, but that's not entirely a bad thing. On its website, Gillette states that it created the campaign (called "The Best a Man Can Be," a play on the old Gillette tagline "The Best a Man Can Get") because it "acknowledge that brands, like ours, play a role in influencing culture."

    Gillette's not wrong. We know that advertising has a huge impact on our kids. The average kid in America sees anywhere from 13,000 to 30,000 commercials on TV each year, according to the American Academy of Paediatrics, and that's not even counting YouTube ads, the posters at the bus stop and everything else.

    That's why Gillette's take makes sense from a marketing perspective and a social one. "As a company that encourages men to be their best, we have a responsibility to make sure we are promoting positive, attainable, inclusive and healthy versions of what it means to be a man," the company states.

    What does that mean?

    It means taking a stance against homophobia, bullying and sexual harassment and that harmful, catch-all-phrase that gives too many young men a pass to engage in behavior that hurts others and themselves: "Boys will be boys."

    Gillette states that "by holding each other accountable, eliminating excuses for bad behavior, and supporting a new generation working toward their personal 'best,' we can help create positive change that will matter for years to come."

    Of course, it's not enough for razor marketers to do this. Boys need support from parents, teachers, coaches and peers to be resilient to the pressures of toxic masculinity.

    When this happens, when boys are taught that strength doesn't mean overpowering others and that they can be successful while still being compassionate, the APA says we will "reduce the high rates of problems boys and men face and act out in their lives such as aggression, violence, substance abuse, and suicide."

    This is a conversation worth having and 2019 is the year to do it.

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    No one decides to be a stay-at-home mom for the paycheck—but if we were to earn one, it would put us in league with some CEOs. Although it doesn't do much for the bank account, a survey that calculated what the average salary would be for a stay-at-home mom is mighty validating. (Remember this next time anyone asks what you do all day.)

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    Anna Faris understands that divorce isn't the end of a family, it's just the evolution of one.

    Faris shares her 6-year-old son Jack with ex-husband Chris Pratt, who took to Instagram Monday to announce his engagement to Katherine Schwarzenegger.

    When Pratt posted the good news Faris was quick to show up in the comments section with kind words. "I'm so happy for you both!! Congratulations!" she wrote on Monday.

    Still family after divorce

    Faris and Pratt announced they were separating in back in August 2017.

    In a joint statement made at the time the two actors stressed that it wasn't an easy decision to come by, and that while they were no longer a couple, they would always be a team for Jack.

    "Our son has two parents who love him very much and for his sake we want to keep the situation as private as possible moving forward. We still love each other and will always cherish our time together."

    Not long after they separated, Faris was publicly linked to her new boyfriend, cinematographer Michael Barrett, and in December 2017, Pratt filed for divorce. It was finalized 10 months later in October 2018, making Faris and Pratt both legally single.

    Pratt and Schwarzenegger have reportedly been dating since the summer of 2018, although neither acknowledged a relationship publicly until December, when Pratt posted a romantic birthday message for Schwarzenegger on his Instagram.

    People reports the two couples spent Halloween together, taking Jack trick-or-treating, and on a recent episode of her podcast, Anna Faris is Unqualified, Faris shared that she and her ex-husband have been very mindful of how their post-divorce relationship can impact Jack.

    "Chris and I work really hard 'cause we have Jack, that is sort of the long game idea and making sure Jack is really happy, which makes us really happy," Faris said. "We have sort of the luxury of circumstance. You know, we are both in other loving relationships."

    The long game

    For Faris, Pratt and so many other parents who are no longer coupled, Jack's current and future wellbeing is so much more important than their past relationship problems.

    Research suggests joint physical custody (which Faris and Pratt have) is linked to better outcomes for kids than divorce arrangements that don't support shared parenting and that divorced couples who have "ongoing personal and emotional involvement with their former spouse" (so, are friends, basically) are more likely to rate their coparenting relationship positively.

    Simply put: Shared parenting is good for kids, and getting along after a divorce is good for shared parenting.

    An evolution, not an end

    As clinical hypnotherapist Susan Allison wrote in her book, Conscious Divorce: Ending a Marriage with Integrity "It's time to replace terms like 'broken' or 'split' family for terms like 'bi-nuclear' or 'blended' family, showing that the unit is not lost but restructured, that the bonds of kinship continue long after a divorce."

    They really do. A couple can uncouple, but they will always be co-parents. It's a different kind of bond, but it is still beautiful.

    Writing for Motherly, Tara Rigg, whose parents divorced when she was 10, explains how she is now so thankful for the way her parents made co-parenting a priority and a consistent practice after their divorce.

    "From the very beginning, special days were spent together. My dad would come over to my mom's house for our birthday dinners. He was always with us on Christmas morning when Mom would make a big brunch and we'd open presents together. We walked out together, one parent on each arm, at halftime in the Homecoming football game when I was a member of the court. Everyone was present and sitting together at my graduations," Rigg wrote.

    Now a mother herself, Rigg refers to her parents divorce as beautiful, but admits, "This isn't to say there was never tension, or that everything was perfect. Even so, I knew deep down that my parents really did care for our best interests and were trying hard for us kids. I knew because of the way they treated each other in front of us."

    Like Rigg, Faris isn't pretending that her divorce from Pratt didn't hurt, and that they haven't had tough moments since deciding to split. On her podcast, Faris made sure to acknowledge "that there is bitterness and pain with all breakups." There is pain and hurt, but there's also love—for Jack, and for each other.

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