The process of expanding your family looks different for everyone. Whether you’re considering IVF, IUI or any other method, it’s a lot either way. The emotional aspect aside, it’s the financial part of it all that can be a tough pill to swallow. So, what about when someone you love tries to (basically) fleece you out of thousands of dollars so they can fund their own infertility journey?

This viral Reddit AITA post details exactly that. Talk about a rock and a hard place! The original poster (OP) shares her story about her brother, Reid, and his wife, Nora, who have been experiencing problems conceiving naturally. OP says that Nora’s past medical issues have made it hard on them to financially afford the cost of the IVF procedure they want to pursue in order to have children.

As a result, the couple have saved up a few thousand and have accepted donations from family and friends. Now, OP is wondering if she’s the a–hole because she refused to take out a loan to the tune of $10,000 to get them to the finish line.

“Their insurance will not help to cover it because they don’t consider it a medically necessary procedure. Reid and Nora have also had difficulty qualifying for an IVF loan as they have poor credit,” OP writes.

OP says that her brother and his wife have already consulted a loan officer who has told them that she (OP) can take a loan out on their behalf. $10,000 is not chump change. Beyond that, taking out a loan for someone who has bad credit and doesn’t pay things back on time is a BIG risk.

You might be thinking, why ask OP and not any other family members? Well, OP says they asked her because she is “single and childless.”


Being single and childless does not mean you don’t have present financial obligations or that your future self won’t need that kind of money in the future.

Ultimately, OP said no. Her brother made a big deal of letting her know that he wouldn’t forget, “how it feels to have family turn their back.” Yikes. The rest of the family piled on the guilt by saying, “We’re not mad at you, just disappointed.” Nothing like good ol’ family guilt!

Asking family for help is totally normal (depending on the situation!). Having the option to ask is a privilege (not a right). But, expecting them to always say yes, no matter how big the ask, is not OK.

Reddit seems to be on OP’s side.

Infertility is tough. It takes a toll on you physically, mentally and emotionally. That’s not up for debate. But, when it comes to asking family for financial help I think there’s a limit, don’t you?