Toddlers can alternatively be the sweetest and most tyrannical people on the planet. Figuring the world out is tough, but it is possible to teach them how to care for and respect others—and the first steps start with you.
Here are five tips from Clinical Psychologist and Co-Founder of Harmony in Parenting Dr. Azine Graff on teaching empathy through modeling and playtime, with some of our favorite dolls from Manhattan Toy Company.
1. “I wonder if she’s sad.”Think about it: The first step to understanding the emotions of others is being able to recognize them in yourself. Graff recommends looking for opportunities to label emotions throughout the day by helping your child identify sadness, anger, happiness, and fear. You can do this by pointing to someone smiling in a book or noticing a baby crying in the grocery store. Try saying, “The baby is crying. I wonder if she is sad.” Over time, your little one will learn to label emotions on their own.
2. “How can we take care of her?”Dramatic play can be a great time to model care and compassion for others. That’s one reason why baby dolls make such great toys for toddlers—not only are they great for open-ended play, they also provide the opportunity to teach caretaking. For example, you can ask your child, “The baby is yawning and seems very tired. How can we take care of her?” We love the award-winning Wee Baby Stella doll from Manhattan Toy Company to turn playtime into a time for empathy teaching.
3. “It is really hard when all the blocks fall and you’re trying to build a tower.”You can set the best example of empathy by taking time to notice and validate your child’s feelings. Instead of trying to immediately shush crying, react from a place of compassion. For example, if your child throws a tantrum over a fallen block tower, try saying, “It is really hard when all the blocks fall and you’re trying to build a tower.” This demonstrates the importance of understanding feelings, even if they are not our own.
4. “Do you want to try with me?”Once your child is better able to identify their emotions, they’re in a better place to find solutions with your help. “When we can help our children through challenging feelings, especially when they are struggling, we are modeling care for others,” Graff says. The next time your child gets upset, you can say, “It is frustrating when something falls apart. It helps me to take a deep breath when I’m frustrated. Do you want to try with me?”
5. Express your own feelingsIt can be tempting to hide your feelings from your child, but when modeled appropriately, it can teach them that feelings are a normal part of life. Over time, you will see them use the same strategies of empathy on you, like kissing your “boo-boos” or suggesting you take a deep breath when you’re upset.
This article is sponsored by Manhattan Toy Company. Thank you for supporting that brands that support Motherly and mamas. Dr. Azine Graff is a Clinical Psychologist and Co-Founder of Harmony in Parenting , which is based in Los Angeles and offers groups, classes, therapy and consultation services informed by the latest research on child development.