Parents say they’ll go into debt to help kids fit in—here’s how to navigate back-to-school pressure

Raise your hand if you’ve ever found yourself staring at a shopping cart full of supplies and thinking, “I can’t afford this—but she HAS to have the glitter gel pens or her childhood won’t be happy…” (Are we all raising our hands? That’s what we thought.)

According to NerdWallet’s 2025 Back-to-School Shopping Report, a whopping 56% of parents say back-to-school season is financially stressful on their families. Parents of K–12 and college students plan to spend an average of $741 this year—$200 more than last year—on everything from clothing to books. And while many will use credit cards or debit cards to cover the costs, more than half admit they’d go into debt to ensure their child can fit in socially or participate in desired activities.

Related: Parents say back-to-school costs are way too high this year

“I want my kids to feel confident, safe, and happy at school,” says Sara Rathner, NerdWallet personal finance expert. “That’s natural—but it’s worth pausing to consider what financial stress you’re willing to take on and how to model healthy money habits.”

Cue collective nods from every parent who’s ever googled “back-to-school budget hacks” after checking their credit card statement.

Why the back-to-school pressure hits hard

It’s not just pencils and notebooks—it’s emotional labor. Parents want their kids to be included, happy, and confident, and the cost of “keeping up” can feel crushing. NerdWallet’s survey underscores that pressure:

• 53% of parents would go into debt for extracurriculars.
• 46% would go into debt to help their child fit in socially.
• 13% plan to go into debt for back-to-school purchases in general.

The pressure to help children feel included—and the fear surrounding the consequences if they don’t—is pushing parents to choose solutions beyond their financial means. And the results are can be damaging not only now but also in the future.

Teaching kids about limits, without guilt

Instead of giving in to the guilt, parents can view back-to-school prep as a golden opportunity to model for children how to handle money, limits, and disappointment:

• Set expectations early: Talk openly about the family budget, and involve kids when appropriate. (Yes, even 8-year-olds can understand financial trade-offs.)
• Use “no” as love: Saying no isn’t denial—it’s showing care for long-term stability and teaching your child the basics of budgeting. Rathner suggests, “Help your child pick one pricier item to save for or earn through allowance—teaching delayed gratification while still honoring their desires.”
• Prioritize essentials: Focus on what’s truly needed versus what’s trendy. A lesson in prioritization is a lesson in life.

Related: Families are paying record prices for back-to-school supplies this year

Creative strategies to save on back-to-school purchases

Of course, utilizing a budget doesn’t have to mean going without everything. Here’s how parents are getting creative to save money as their kids head back to school:

• Shop during sales (52% of parents) or use coupons (34%).
• Save ahead of time (40%) and involve kids in planning (30%).
• Lean on supply swaps, backpack drives, or local initiatives.
• Join parent co-ops or sharing networks to stretch the budget.

“Families are feeling the burn of higher prices,” Rathner says, “but leaning on your community and involving kids in budgeting can create a supportive ‘village’ effect that helps everyone feel included.”

Because sometimes, the only thing standing between you and a full backpack is another mom who knows where the coupon codes are hidden.

The takeaway for parents

NerdWallet’s survey isn’t just about dollar amounts—it’s about the emotional pressure of parenting in a world where “fit in or fall behind” can feel literal. Compassion (for yourself and your kids) is key. It’s okay to set limits, it’s okay to say no, and it’s okay to get creative with solutions.

The goal isn’t to provide everything, but to provide guidance, support, and love—lessons that will long outlast the latest sneaker trend.