A modern lifestyle brand redefining motherhood
Print Friendly and PDF

Summer is on the horizon and with it comes days at the pool, evenings spent playing in the backyard after dinner, and yes, inevitable complaints of "I'm bored!" No matter how much kids beg for more play time during the school year, they still sometimes struggle when facing days upon days of no structure or routine.

Giving your kids freedom—long days with nothing on the schedule—allows them to pursue their own interests, to figure out who they really are, and to learn how to manage their own time. But it can also be sort of a disaster sometimes.

Kids thrive on routine, and sometimes when structured school days are traded in for free-flowing play time, they lose it. Does this mean you have to sign your kids up for camps and classes to occupy every minute of their free time? No! There is a compromise.

FEATURED VIDEO

Children in Montessori classrooms are given a great deal of freedom. They can move freely about the classroom, can decide what to work on and with whom, and to a large extent, how to spend their time.

There are two things, however, that make this freedom successful: purpose and structure.

But wait. Aren't structure and freedom sort of opposites? Not necessarily.

While Montessori children choose when to work on math, when to practice reading, and when to experiment with science, there is still a predictable routine that shapes their days. There is a long morning work period, time on the playground, lunch, rest time for the younger children, and another long afternoon work period. While the children have a great deal of freedom within this schedule, there is enough of a routine to keep them comfortable. They know what's coming, which make it easier to settle in and focus.

You can use this same strategy at home. You can give kids the freedom to decide how to spend their summer days while still providing the necessary structure for them to be successful. Here's how:

1. Craft a daily routine

You will certainly have days that deviate from the norm—beach days, trips to the zoo, or days when pool time trumps nap time. Still, it can be helpful to think through a routine for the days when you find yourself sticking close to home.

Try to establish a rhythm so that your child knows what to expect each day. That way, they can focus on playing instead of continually asking what comes next.

For example, you might have breakfast and then head outside to the backyard for an hour or two before it gets too hot. Next, you might come inside for a snack, then indoor play time, followed by lunch and nap or quiet time.

A simple routine like this, with designated time for outdoor and indoor play, can help children feel comfortable enough to relax into the new normal of summer. Predictable routines give kids confidence.

2. Create a weekly calendar

This could look something like this: Mondays at home, Tuesdays at the park, Wednesdays at the library, Thursdays a playdate with friends, and Fridays a bigger adventure like visiting a new museum or nearby lake.

A weekly calendar like this allows plenty of full open blocks of time for free play, without leaving both you and your kids wondering what to do each morning. Of course, there's no need to become locked into this calendar. It's only meant to serve you, and each family is comfortable with their own level of structure versus spontaneity, so figure out what works for you, mama!

3. Foster a sense of purpose

It's essential for kids to get a break from the rigid pressures of the school year, but that doesn't mean their summer has to be without purpose.

Try sitting down with your child and brainstorming a few goals for the summer. You can each pick two or three goals to lend some purpose to their days. You might want them to read five new chapter books. They might want to learn the breaststroke or learn to ride a bike without training wheels.

When your child is having a hard time deciding what to do, remind them of these goals. Working toward a goal is highly rewarding and will give your child a great sense of accomplishment.

4. Make an activity bank

Similarly, make a summer bucket list with your child. Ask them what fun things they want to do in the summer months and write each one on a piece of paper. Put the documents in a jar to create an activity bank.

Direct your child to choose a paper every time they claim there's nothing to do. This takes the responsibility off of you to entertain your child while providing them with enough direction to find something fun to do successfully.

Make sure to include plenty of activities your child can do on their own. You can mix in more essential items like having a lemonade stand or making homemade ice cream with simple things like playing with play-doh or writing a letter to Grandma and Grandpa.

In some ways, wide open days with nothing planned are harder than the ones fully booked with guaranteed fun, but this doesn't mean they aren't worthwhile. The days with nothing on the calendar are often the ones when kids get creative when they discover their love of mud pies or their passion for bugs.

So be brave, mama, and leave some time open for exploration this summer. Including a bit of structure and purpose can help make this time meaningful and enjoyable for both you and your kids.

You might also like:

The very best of Motherly — delivered when you need it most.

Subscribe for inspiration, empowering articles and expert tips to rock your best #momlife.

Already a subscriber? Log in here.

As a former beauty editor, I pride myself in housing the best skincare products in my bathroom. Walk in and you're sure to be greeted with purifying masks, micellar water, retinol ceramide capsules and Vitamin C serums. What can I say? Old habits die hard. But when I had my son, I was hesitant to use products on him. I wanted to keep his baby-soft skin for as long as possible, without tainting it with harsh chemicals.

Eventually, I acquiesced and began using leading brands on his sensitive skin. I immediately regretted it. His skin became dry and itchy and regardless of what I used on him, it never seemed to get better. I found myself asking, "Why don't beauty brands care about baby skin as much as they care about adult skin?"

When I had my daughter in May, I knew I had to take a different approach for her skin. Instead of using popular brands that are loaded with petroleum and parabens, I opted for cleaner products. These days I'm all about skincare that contains super-fruits (like pomegranate sterols, which are brimming with antioxidants) and sulfate-free cleansers that contain glycolipids that won't over-dry her skin. And, so far, Pipette gets it right.

What's in it

At first glance, the collection of shampoo, wipes, balm, oil and lotion looks like your typical baby line—I swear cute colors and a clean look gets me everytime—but there's one major difference: All products are environmentally friendly and cruelty-free, with ingredients derived from plants or nontoxic synthetic sources. Also, at the core of Pipette's formula is squalane, which is basically a powerhouse moisturizing ingredient that babies make in utero that helps protect their skin for the first few hours after birth. And, thanks to research, we know that squalane isn't an irritant, and is best for those with sensitive skin. Finally, a brand really considered my baby's dry skin.

Off the bat, I was most interested in the baby balm because let's be honest, can you ever have too much protection down there? After applying, I noticed it quickly absorbed into her delicate skin. No rash. No irritation. No annoyed baby. Mama was happy. It's also worth noting there wasn't any white residue left on her bottom that usually requires several wipes to remove.


Why it's different

I love that Pipette doesn't smell like an artificial baby—you, know that powdery, musky note that never actually smells like a newborn. It's fragrance free, which means I can continue to smell my daughter's natural scent that's seriously out of this world. I also enjoy that the products are lightweight, making her skin (and my fingers) feel super smooth and soft even hours after application.

The bottom line

Caring for a baby's sensitive skin isn't easy. There's so much to think about, but Pipette makes it easier for mamas who don't want to compromise on safety or sustainability. I'm obsessed, and I plan to start using the entire collection on my toddler as well. What can I say, old habits indeed die hard.

This article was sponsored by Pipette. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

Military families give up so much for their country, particularly when they have small children at home. Those of us who have never witnessed this kind of sacrifice first-hand could use a reminder of it once in a while, which is just one of the reasons we're so happy to see the beautiful photoshoot Mary Chevalier arranged for her husband's return home from Afghanistan.

The photoshoot was extra special because while James Chevalier was serving a nine-month deployment, Mary gave birth to their second son, Caspian.

Getting ready to meet Dad

"During the laboring and birthing process of Caspian, I was surrounded by family, but that did not fill the void of not having my husband by my side," Mary told InsideEdition.com. "He was able to video chat during the labor and birth, but for both of us, it was not enough."

While James had yet to meet Caspian, their 3-year-old son, Gage, missed his dad a whole lot, so this homecoming was going to be a big deal for him too. That's why Mary arranged for her wedding photographer, Brittany Watson, to be with them for their reunion in Atlanta.

Gage was so happy to see his Dad 

"[He] had no idea he was going to be getting to see his daddy that day," Watson wrote on Facebook. "The family met at the Southeastern Railway Museum for Gage to go on a special train ride... little did he know, he'd be doing it with daddy!"

Watson did a beautiful job capturing the high emotions of every single family member, from Gage's surprise, to the delight on baby Caspian's face. It's no wonder her Facebook post went viral last week.

"Caspian is natural, a very happy baby, but both James and I felt like Caspian knew who his father was almost immediately," Mary told Inside Edition. "He was easily comforted by me husband right off the bat and seemed to have an instant connection. It was very emotional."

The moment this dad had been waiting for 

If we're sobbing just looking at the photos, we can't even imagine what it was like in real life.

"We are all so blessed and take so much for granted," Watson wrote. "I cannot contain the joy I feel in my heart when I look at these images, and I hope you feel it too!"


You might also like:

News

During both of my pregnancies, I was under the care of an amazing midwife. Every time I went to her office for check-ups, I was mesmerized by the wall of photos participating in what may be the most painfully magical moment of a woman's life: giving birth. But there was a painting that always drew my attention: a woman dressed in orange, holding her newborn baby with a face that could be described as clueless. The line above the canvas read, "Now what?"

I felt like the woman in the painting as I kissed my mother goodbye when my daughter was born. She came from my native Colombia to stay with us for three months. When she left, I realized that my husband had been working as usual during those first 90 days of our new life. My baby was born on a Friday and on Monday he was back at the office. (No parental leave policy for him.)

FEATURED VIDEO

Now what? I thought. The quote "It takes a village to raise a child" suddenly started to hit home, literally.

After a few years in Miami, I had some friends, but it truly didn't feel like I had a village. Some were not mothers yet, most of them worked full-time and others didn't live close by. My nomad life left my best friends spread out in different places in the world. I found myself signing up for "mommy and me" classes in search of new mothers, immigrants like me, alone like me.

It seemed like a utopian dream to think about when my grandmothers became mothers. Both of them had 6 and 10 children and they were able to stay sane (or maybe not? I don't know). But at least they had family around—people cooking, offering help. There was a sense of community.

My mother and father grew up in "the village." Big families with so many children that the older siblings ended up taking care of the little ones; aunts were like second mothers and neighbors became family.

When I was about to give birth to my second baby, my sister had just had her baby girl back in Colombia. Once, she called me crying because her maternity leave was almost over. My parents live close to her, so that was a bonus. Hiring a nanny back there is more affordable. But even seeing the positive aspects of it, I wished I could have been there for her, to be each other's village.

The younger me didn't realize that when I took a plane to leave my country in search of new experiences 19 years ago, I was giving up the chance to have my loved ones close by when I became a mother. And when I say close by, I mean as in no planes involved.

It hasn't been easy, but after two kids and plenty of mommy and me classes and random conversations that became true connections, I can say I have a mini-village, a small collection of solitudes coming together to lean on each other. But for some reason, it doesn't truly feel like one of those described in the old books where women gathered to knit while breastfeeding and all the children become like siblings.

Life gets in the way, and everyone gets sucked into their own worlds. In the absence of a true village, we feel the pressure to be and do everything that once was done by a group of people. We often lose perspective of priorities because we are taking care of everything at the same time. Starting to feel sick causes anxiety and even fear because it means so many things need to happen in order for mom—especially if single—to lay down and recover while the children are taken care of. And when the children get sick, that could mean losing money for a working mother or father, because the truth is that most corporations are not designed to nurture families.

In the absence of that model of a village I long for, we tend to rely on social media to have a sense of community and feel supported. We may feel that since we are capable of doing so much—working and stay at home moms equally—perhaps we don't need help. Or quite the opposite: mom guilt kicks in and feelings of not being enough torment our night sleep. Depression and anxiety can enter the picture and just thinking about the amount of energy and time that takes to create true connections, we may often curl up in our little cocoon with our children and partners—if they are present—when they come home.

Now what? was my thought this week while driving back and forth to the pediatrician with my sick son. I can't get the virus, I have to be strong, my daughter can't get ill, my husband needs to be healthy for his work trip next week, we all need to be well for my son's fifth birthday. And so, it goes on. I texted one of my mom friends just to rant. She rants back because her son is also sick. She sent me a heart and an "I'm here if you need to talk."

I am grateful to have talked to her at that random postpartum circle when I first became a mother. She's a Latina immigrant like me and feels exactly like me. I will do it more, get out of my comfort zone and have—sometimes—awkward conversations so I can keep growing my own little village.

It may not look like the one I'd imagined, but still may allow me to be vulnerable even through a text message.

You might also like:

Life

Halloween is around the corner, but if you are like me you are still trying to figure out what to dress your family (especially the little ones), so here are some cute ideas inspired by famous characters. There's something for everyone—from cartoon lovers to ideas for the entire family!

Here are some adorable character costumes for your family:

You might also like:

Life
Motherly provides information of a general nature and is designed for educational purposes only. This site does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.Your use of the site indicates your agreement to be bound by our  Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Information on our advertising guidelines can be found here.