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It's possible to thrive in parenthood as an introvert—here's how

Are you an introvert or an extrovert, mama?

Parenting as an introvert

I was once asked what I wished I'd known before having children. “I wish I knew they would be on me for two years," I replied.

I love my children, but there were afternoons when my husband would be outside playing with our offspring; I'd hear them laughing through the window and he'd call out, “Honey, come play with us!" and instead of leaping out to join in the mutual adoration I'd just think, No, thank you.

This is an unpopular position for a loving mother to find herself in. Nonetheless, for some of us there are reasons why it's a challenging experience to have a small person attached to you semi-permanently. I knew I was an introvert, but I didn't know how much it would impact my parenting.

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What does it mean to be introverted?

Scientists are discovering that introverts take in more information from their surroundings and require solitude to process it. If introverts can't get peace and quiet to digest the influx of information, they risk feeling overwhelmed—which can be hard.

Introvert's brains also have a higher level of activity than others, they run “hotter." This means that introverts tend to limit input from their environment; they may seek to avoid crowds or high-adrenaline situations as their brains are already pretty well activated. So when you add an excitable child to a brain that requires solitude, it can be frustrating.

What an introverted mama looks like

The dichotomy that I found myself in, as an introvert with a baby, was that you were meant to achieve “baby bliss." The socially acceptable way to behave when you have a child is to spend lots of time with them, to play with them (and enjoy it), to have a messy, noisy house, and to miss your children terribly when they're away.

Introverts can struggle with the expectations of parenthood when they seem to go against their own basic needs as a person. However, these issues, as difficult as they may be, often aren't the most pressing for an introvert. Instead, guilt may be the biggest struggle. The way an introvert's brain works best goes directly against “good" parenting and culture. Introvert parents may question their relevance and worth as a parent, and are at heightened risk of anxiety and depression.

Being an introvert is a good thing

Since introverts absorb more information than extroverts, they may notice things that others miss. This can be incredibly valuable in raising children. Introverts may sense children's triggers, the tiny signals that indicate a switch in mood or an impeding meltdown. They may pay more attention to the minutia of kid's lives, those simple things that mean the most. These things make for high quality parenting, which is just as important as the quantity of time you spend with your child.

Introverts are aware of their own shortcomings—they are more critical of themselves than extraverts, and focus more on mistake than triumphs. When extraverts are shaking off a bad day and planning on making the next one extra good, introverts are flagellating themselves and hoping child services don't show up.

It's not all gloom though. Once they move on from the flagellation, introverts actually have a really good grasp on what's going on, even when it's not exactly great.

How you can be an awesome mama if you're an introvert:

1. Find some structure.

Even if you never follow it, having a structure in mind when you start the day can be less overwhelming than trying to figure out what to do when small people are running around the house yelling and naked.

2. Use headphones.

Put your children in the stroller/carrier and go for a walk with headphones in. Even getting 20 minutes to yourself makes a difference, and pointing out the occasional butterfly on a walk makes small people happy, too.

3. Prioritize alone time.

If you get a babysitter, or regular childcare, make sure you either drop off your kid or that the babysitter takes them out. Time alone to potter around an empty house and hear yourself think is vital. It's okay to not want to be around other people, and it's perfectly fine to limit social engagements or avoid crowded, busy environments. It's not selfish, it's self-care.

4. Discover quiet activities that work for your family.

They exist! Reading books together can be replenishing, as well as some craft activities. Find the things that work for you and your children and invest time in those activities every day.

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By its very nature, motherhood requires some lifestyle adjustments: Instead of staying up late with friends, you get up early for snuggles with your baby. Instead of spontaneous date nights with your honey, you take afternoon family strolls with your little love. Instead of running out of the house with just your keys and phone, you only leave with a fully loaded diaper bag.

For breastfeeding or pumping mamas, there is an additional layer of consideration around when, how and how much your baby will eat. Thankfully, when it comes to effective solutions for nursing or bottle-feeding your baby, Dr. Brown's puts the considerations of mamas and their babies first with products that help with every step of the process—from comfortably adjusting to nursing your newborn to introducing a bottle to efficiently pumping.

With countless hours spent breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding, the editors at Motherly know the secret to success is having dependable supplies that can help you feed your baby in a way that matches lifestyle.

Here are 9 breastfeeding and pumping products to help you no matter what the day holds.

Customflow™ Double Electric Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's electric pump

For efficient, productive pumping sessions, a double electric breast pump will help you get the job done as quickly as possible. Quiet for nighttime pumping sessions and compact for bringing along to work, this double pump puts you in control with fully adjustable settings.

$159.99

Hands-Free Pumping Bra

Dr. Brown''s hands free pumping bra

Especially in the early days, feeding your baby can feel like a pretty consuming task. A hands-free pumping bra will help you reclaim some of your precious time while pumping—and all mamas will know just how valuable more time can be!

$29.99

Manual Breast Pump with SoftShape™ Silicone Shield

Dr. Brown's manual breast pump

If you live a life that sometimes takes you away from electrical outlets (that's most of us!), then you'll absolutely want a manual breast pump in your arsenal. With two pumping modes to promote efficient milk expression and a comfort-fitted shield, a manual pump is simply the most convenient pump to take along and use. Although it may not get as much glory as an electric pump, we really appreciate how quick and easy this manual pump is to use—and how liberating it is not to stress about finding a power supply.

$29.99

Nipple Shields and Sterilization Case

Dr. Brown's nipple shields

There is a bit of a learning curve to breastfeeding—for both mamas and babies. Thankfully, even if there are some physical challenges (like inverted nipples or a baby's tongue tie) or nursing doesn't click right away, silicone nipple shields can be a huge help. With a convenient carry case that can be sterilized in the microwave, you don't have to worry about germs or bacteria either. 🙌

$9.99

Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's silicone pump

When you are feeding your baby on one breast, the other can still experience milk letdown—which means it's a golden opportunity to save some additional milk. With a silent, hands-free silicone pump, you can easily collect milk while nursing.

$14.99

Breast to Bottle Pump & Store Feeding Set

After a lifetime of nursing from the breast, introducing a bottle can be a bit of a strange experience for babies. Dr. Brown's Options+™ and slow flow bottle nipples were designed with this in mind to make the introduction to bottles smooth and pleasant for parents and babies. As a set that seamlessly works together from pumping to storing milk to bottle feeding, you don't have to stress about having everything you need to keep your baby fed and happy either.

$24.99

Washable Breast Pads

washable breast pads

Mamas' bodies are amazingly made to help breast milk flow when it's in demand—but occasionally also at other times. Especially as your supply is establishing or your breasts are fuller as the length between feeding sessions increase, it's helpful to use washable nursing pads to prevent breast milk from leaking through your bra.

$8.99

Breast Milk Storage Bags

Dr. Brown's milk storage bags

The essential for mamas who do any pumping, breast milk storage bags allow you to easily and safely seal expressed milk in the refrigerator or freezer. Dr. Brown's™ Breast Milk Storage Bags take it even further with extra thick walls that block out scents from other food items and feature an ultra secure lock to prevent leaking.

$7.99


Watch one mama's review of the new Dr. Brown's breastfeeding line here:

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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