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Stop saying ‘no’: Turn these 5 negative parenting phrases into positives✌️

Your words create your home environment. So, are you ready to experience more positive energy in your home? I'm so excited to show you how.


This is an exercise I got from Happify Daily. (Listen to my podcast on the topic if this is something you feel is correct for you to work on in your home.)

Here are 5 negative phrases and how you can turn them positive.

1. “I’m exhausted” or “I’m frustrated” to “I need to rest” or “I’m changing my expectations”

These negative phrases acknowledge a state of being. You’re voicing the challenge you feel and you’re giving more power to it. Instead, switch the focus to voice what you need. If you need to rest, see how you can make time for that.

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Maybe you need to change your expectations.

When I was raising small children, at times I simply needed to realize that if everyone was breathing and everyone was safe, that was good for that day. What expectations can you let go of?

2. Change constructive criticism to feedback

Notice with “constructive criticism” how it’s still criticism.

Some children (especially Type 2s and Type 4s) need a more sensitive or private approach when they need instruction. Do you need to take your energy down a notch in order to meet that need?

How can you shift toward a “feedback” mindset?

When you give feedback, you're giving information to your child so they can grow and learn from it. It’s a wonderful team effort!

3. “Don’t!” to “I would like it if you...”

We tend to focus on what we don’t want. In my book, Remembering Wholeness, I talk a lot about this and how we create more of what we don’t want when we put so much energy there.

For example, instead of saying “don’t throw the ball inside,” try saying “I would like it if you threw the ball outside please.”

Give your children clear feedback and direction on what you do want, rather than just telling then what you don’t want.

4. “No” to “That is enough for now”

There are so many ways you can re-frame “no” for your child. In fact, all you need to do is put more words into the space and the energy stays open.

Answering your child with a simple “No” shuts down the energy and may cause frustration for your child. Of course I advocate for parents setting healthy boundaries and that includes not allowing children to always get what they ask for.

However, I still think there are many, many ways to add more words to the space in order to honor your child.

5. “Don’t” to “I like it when you...”

This is similar to #3, but flip it just a little more to speak to your child’s behavior (#3 deals more with their actions.) Shift the focus off the negative and on to instruction, support and positivity. This opens the energy and it will revolutionize your home environment!

I was really moved by how this teacher begins every day complimenting all of the students. How would this practice change your home for the better?

Imagine what it would be like to see your children’s faces as you compliment them and honor them for who they are.

Remember—this will take practice. After all, you’re developing a new habit so be patient with yourself.

I think you’re going to see immediate results with your children. And you’ll see results years down the road too.

I promise this will be worth it.


This article was originally published on The Child Whisperer.


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I felt lost as a new mother, but babywearing helped me find myself again

I wish someone had told me before how special wearing your baby can be, even when you have no idea how to do it.

My first baby and I were alone in our Brooklyn apartment during a particularly cold spring with yet another day of no plans. My husband was back at work after a mere three weeks of parental leave (what a joke!) and all my friends were busy with their childless lives—which kept them too busy to stop by or check in (making me, at times, feel jealous).

It was another day in which I would wait for baby to fall asleep for nap number one so I could shower and get ready to attempt to get out of the house together to do something, anything really, so I wouldn't feel the walls of the apartment close in on me by the time the second nap rolled around. I would pack all the diapers and toys and pacifiers and pump and bottles into a ginormous stroller that was already too heavy to push without a baby in it .

Then I would spend so much time figuring out where we could go with said stroller, because I wanted to avoid places with steps or narrow doors (I couldn't lift the stroller by myself and I was too embarrassed to ask strangers for help—also hi, New Yorkers, please help new moms when you see them huffing and puffing up the subway stairs, okay?). Then I would obsess about the weather, was it too cold to bring the baby out? And by the time I thought I had our adventure planned, the baby would wake up, I would still be in my PJs and it was time to pump yet again.

Slowly, but surely, and mostly thanks to sleep deprivation and isolation, I began to detest this whole new mom life. I've always been a social butterfly. I moved to New York because I craved that non-stop energy the city has and in the years before having my baby I amassed new friends I made through my daily adventures. I would never stop. I would walk everywhere just to take in the scenery and was always on the move.

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Time-saving formula tips our editors swear by

Less time making bottles, more time snuggling.

As a new parent, it can feel like feeding your baby is a full-time job—with a very demanding nightshift. Add in the additional steps it takes to prepare a bottle of formula and, well… we don't blame you if you're eager to save some time when you can. After all, that means more time for snuggling your baby or practicing your own well-deserved self-care.

Here's the upside: Many, many formula-feeding mamas before you have experienced the same thing, and they've developed some excellent tricks that can help you mix up a bottle in record time. Here are the best time-saving formula tips from editors here at Motherly.

1. Use room temperature water

The top suggestion that came up time and time again was to introduce bottles with room temperature water from the beginning. That way, you can make a bottle whenever you need it without worrying about warming up water—which is a total lifesaver when you have to make a bottle on the go or in the middle of the night.

2. Buy online to save shopping time

You'll need a lot of formula throughout the first year and beyond—so finding a brand like Comforts, which offers high-quality infant formula at lower prices, will help you save a substantial amount of money. Not to mention, you can order online or find the formula on shelves during your standard shopping trip—and that'll save you so much time and effort as well.

3. Pre-measure nighttime bottles

The middle of the night is the last time you'll want to spend precious minutes mixing up a bottle. Instead, our editors suggest measuring out the correct amount of powder formula into a bottle and putting the necessary portion of water on your bedside table. That way, all you have to do is roll over and combine the water and formula in the bottle before feeding your baby. Sounds so much better than hiking all the way to the kitchen and back at 3 am, right?

4. Divide serving sizes for outings

Before leaving the house with your baby, divvy up any portions of formula and water that you may need during your outing. Then, when your baby is hungry, just combine the pre-measured water and powder serving in the bottle. Our editors confirm this is much easier than trying to portion out the right amount of water or formula while riding in the car.

5. Memorize the mental math

Soon enough, you'll be able to prepare a bottle in your sleep. But, especially in the beginning or when increasing your baby's serving, the mental math can take a bit of time. If #mombrain makes it tough to commit the measurements to memory, write up a cheat sheet for yourself or anyone else who will prepare your baby's bottle.

6. Warm up chilled formula with water

If you're the savvy kind of mom who prepares and refrigerates bottles for the day in advance, you'll probably want to bring it up to room temperature before serving. Rather than purchase a bottle warmer, our editors say the old-fashioned method works incredibly well: Just plunge the sealed bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes and—voila!—it's ready to serve.



Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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