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Most of us were not explicitly taught social skills. We picked them up along the way, perhaps by observing our parents' interactions with others. But, our littles can benefit from our teaching moments, learning how to appropriately express emotions in different circumstances.

From a very young age, we're told to not be angry or sad. This only results in repressed feelings. We may be concerned when our child acts aggressively, but the American Psychological Association tells us that this is the natural human response to anger. We can't prevent anger, but we can teach ways to express it assertively without harming others.

While it is sometimes necessary to temporarily suppress anger (to avoid confrontations that may lead to physical aggression, for example), unexpressed anger can turn inward, possibly resulting in mental or even physical concerns, such as high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, and sleep and digestive issues. It can also lead to violent or passive-aggressive behavior and can hinder interpersonal relationships.

Anger itself isn't the problem, but like other intense emotions, it can cause us to make poor decisions. When angry, we experience physical changes: Our heart rate and blood pressure rise and adrenaline surges. We may also experience muscle tension and vocal changes, sometimes without our being aware of it.

In some cases, anger can mask more difficult emotions. It is easier to feel anger than the more vulnerable sadness or powerlessness. Misplaced or mismanaged anger can lead to violence.

By teaching our children to recognize and deal with their anger, we may be able to prevent its negative impacts before they happen. Children need to learn to be assertive, not aggressive, and to express themselves without getting emotional or defensive. Fortunately, proven techniques exist, and like other skills, these need to be practiced.

1. Use your words

From the time our children are toddlers, we should be putting names to feelings. Having a word to express an emotion is the first step in dealing with it. Frustration, disappointment, embarrassment, and anger often manifest themselves similarly, but people react to them differently. While disappointment is generally met with empathy, anger can be met with scorn.

By giving these emotions a name, it is possible to encourage children to “use your words" to help you help them feel better. It is okay to feel angry, but it is not okay to behave aggressively.

Don't just tell them; model this behavior. Verbalize your own feelings. This may feel silly, but it can help your child work through the process. In some cases, it may also help you feel less frustrated and angry as well.

2. Visualize yourself in another person's situation

Remind your child that people are unique. Everyone's expectations and life experiences are not universally shared. People from different parts of the world have different customs and may find yours unfamiliar, even rude sometimes.

Children of different ages and abilities vary in their level of emotional maturity. Others don't always share your opinions. By getting angry at their behavior, you may be imposing your own values on them.

3. Consider the “whys"

Question the intent of the supposedly hurtful action. Did a classmate intentionally embarrass your child or did she misconstrue an innocuous comment? If a friend didn't respond when your son waved, was it because he was mad or because he was distracted? If your teen is left out of a group chat, was it intentional or merely an oversight? Sometimes our perceptions are not in tune with reality so this is something we should communicate with our children.

4. Practice relaxation techniques

While this sounds simplistic, it is almost impossible to be relaxed and angry at the same time. There are multiple ways to teach relaxation. You can use personal cues, such as words, phrases, or images to bring to mind in a difficult situation.

For younger children, thinking of a favorite song or story can be calming. As your child gets older, you can teach other techniques, such as breathing, imagery, or meditation. Kids can be taught to breathe from their belly button or practice “elevator breathing." Tell them to close their eyes and go to a “happy place." Have them slowly repeat a calm word or phrase while breathing deeply.

5. Use cognitive restructuring

Cognitive therapy works by helping people look at things in a new way. Instead of saying everything is awful, think everything is awesome (maybe even sing it in your head).

Rephrase situations: It is not “the end of the world" but a “frustrating situation."

Put someone else in your situation. Insert some logic. Anger is sometimes irrational. Your teacher is not “out to get you"; you are simply having a hard time with a concept.

Drop the entitlement: Say “I want," not “I deserve."

6. Plan/practice alternate ways to handle situations

Focus on steps to take to face the issue, recognizing that not every problem has a tidy answer and that some problems take time to resolve. Encourage your child to think before acting.

Search for solutions together. Talk about how things could have been different and what your child might do differently next time. If there is a conflict with another person, see if a compromise can be reached. Suggest an apology if it is warranted. Practicing this first can help alleviate anxiety.

7. Work on communication skills

Don't jump to conclusions. Learn to express what you want appropriately. Stop and listen to what others are saying. Learn active listening skills (mirroring ensures you are hearing others correctly) and think before speaking. Avoid the temptation to get defensive. Ask questions so you know what others are trying to say. Avoid name calling. Keep cool.

Talk about the source of the anger. In children, frustration and disappointment often bring on angry outbursts. Look for the underlying concern. The source may be a skill not mastered or a difficulty in school. There may be issues of self-esteem or problems getting along with peers. Anger and sadness can be intertwined in childhood.

Once the problem is identified, it is possible to provide help, possibly through getting help in school, explaining how things work, or guiding them through social skills.

8. Step away

Remove your child from a difficult situation. Used properly, time outs are not punishment, but a way to remove an individual from a situation, providing time to reflect. It allows the individual time to calm down and collect him- or herself, and to regain control. It also is acceptable to put yourself in a “time out." Doing so retains some control over the situation, making one less likely to feel trapped.

Teach older children to make a conscious effort to not act – to remove themselves from the situation and take a break to cool down. Advise waiting before sending an email or text. Suggest walking away when someone antagonizes your child, creating time to think before deciding the next step.

If your child is sick, tired, or otherwise stressed, feelings of anger are more likely to erupt. If possible, don't put him or her into a difficult situation at these times. Teach older children to pay attention to these cues themselves. Those in an “emotionally-compromised state" are more likely to react in an extreme manner.

9. Encourage empathy

Encourage your child to see things from another point of view. Even young children can understand when someone else feels sad or angry. If they don't want to talk about their feelings, try inserting a favorite character from a book into the story. Ask questions to prompt your child to see another side of the issue and relate it to the situation at hand. How would the characters feel and react?

Remind them to forgive themselves and others. Even good people sometimes behave badly. Losing your temper once doesn't mean you can't change. Children especially need to believe that they will not be forever judged for their actions.

10. Use humor

When we are in the middle of an emotional situation, we can't always find the humor in it. Often disagreements are over rather silly things. Pointing these out in a gentle way can diffuse tension and lead to a solution. The use of silly words, like Doodyhead, can send the conversation in a new direction and the source of the anger may be forgotten.

11. Be generous with hugs and praise

Physical contact can help defuse a challenging situation. A well-timed hug can ward off feelings of jealousy or frustration that can lead to anger. A gentle touch on an arm can help calm escalating nerves.

Remember to praise your child for their attempts, not just their achievements. Sometimes people fail, and there is much to be learned when things go wrong. Remind your kids of their strengths and what they have accomplished thus far. Pointing out your own failures can help your children see that they can move forward and try again.

12. Encourage exercise

Exercise can be an effective way to work off negative emotions or “burn off steam." A good workout can make you realize that an annoyance is just that and nothing more. Regular physical exercise may also reduce frustration, a frequent anger trigger. Exercise increases endorphins, and that feel-good feeling from regular exercise may carry over and keep a minor annoyance from growing unto something more.

13. Self-reflection, literally

Encourage your child to look in a mirror when angry. In all likelihood, he or she will not like the image. Anger is not an attractive emotion. It is said that watching video of his tantrums on the tennis court caused Roger Federer to stop his notorious behavior.

14. Be a good role model

Be aware of your own anger. Studies show that parental emotions influence their children. If you think you don't exhibit anger often, pay attention to how many times you yell or otherwise show anger (maybe keep a journal), noting what triggers it and how you react (yelling, punching the wall, hitting the steering wheel).

While anger is a normal part of life, it is sometimes indicative of a more serious issue. When anger falls outside developmental norms—for example, if a teacher reports your child's anger is out of control, or if it's impacting your child's and possibly your family's life—it is time to seek help.

Several developmental and mental health issues can contribute to emotional outbursts. A professional evaluation can help diagnose and find the proper approach for your child.

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When you become a parent for the first time, there is an undeniably steep learning curve. Add to that the struggle of sorting through fact and fiction when it comes to advice and—whew—it's enough to make you more tired than you already are with that newborn in the house.

Just like those childhood games of telephone when one statement would get twisted by the time it was told a dozen times, there are many parenting misconceptions that still tend to get traction. This is especially true with myths about bottle-feeding—something that the majority of parents will do during their baby's infancy, either exclusively or occasionally.

Here's what you really need to know about bottle-feeding facts versus fiction.

1. Myth: Babies are fine taking any bottle

Not all bottles are created equally. Many parents experience anxiety when it seems their infant rejects all bottles, which is especially nerve wracking if a breastfeeding mom is preparing to return to work. However, it's often a matter of giving the baby some time to warm up to the new feeding method, says Katie Ferraro, a registered dietician, infant feeding specialist and associate professor of nutrition at the University of California San Francisco graduate School of Nursing.

"For mothers returning to work, if you're breastfeeding but trying to transition to bottle[s], try to give yourself a two- to four-week trial window to experiment with bottle feeding," says Ferraro.

2. Myth: You either use breast milk or formula

So often, the question of whether a parent is using formula or breastfeeding is presented exclusively as one or the other. In reality, many babies are combo-fed—meaning they have formula sometimes, breast milk other times.

The advantage with mixed feeding is the babies still get the benefits of breast milk while parents can ensure the overall nutritional and caloric needs are met through formula, says Ferraro.

3. Myth: Cleaning bottles is a lot of work

For parents looking for simplification in their lives (meaning, all of us), cleaning bottles day after day can sound daunting. But, really, it doesn't require much more effort than you are already used to doing with the dishes each night: With bottles that are safe for the top rack of the dishwasher, cleaning them is as easy as letting the machine work for you.

For added confidence in the sanitization, Dr. Brown's offers an incredibly helpful microwavable steam sterilizer that effectively kills all household bacteria on up to four bottles at a time. (Not to mention it can also be used on pacifiers, sippy cups and more.)

4. Myth: Bottle-feeding causes colic

One of the leading theories on what causes colic is indigestion, which can be caused by baby getting air bubbles while bottle feeding. However, Dr. Brown's bottles are the only bottles in the market that are actually clinically proven to reduce colic thanks to an ingenious internal vent system that eliminates negative pressure and air bubbles.

5. Myth: Bottles are all you can use for the first year

By the time your baby is six months old (way to go!), they may be ready to begin using a sippy cup. Explains Ferraro, "Even though they don't need water or additional liquids at this point, it is a feeding milestone that helps promote independent eating and even speech development."

With a complete line of products to see you from newborn feeding to solo sippy cups, Dr. Brown's does its part to make these new transitions less daunting. And, for new parents, that truly is priceless.

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Many parents begin looking into Montessori when their children reach preschool age, but there is so much you can do at home even with the youngest babies. Montessori is much more than a method of education or academic system. It is a philosophy and a certain way of approaching children, whether at school or in the home.

Here are five simple (and free!) ways you can begin using Montessori with your child from birth. And if your child is older, don't worry—all of these principles apply to older children as well.

1. Provide freedom of movement

From birth, we can give children the opportunity to move freely in their environment.

For a newborn, this simply means providing plenty of time when they are not being held or constrained in a carrier, stroller or other device.

You might spend time siting next to your child while they lay on a soft blanket, either inside or outdoors. They're clearly not able to move around the environment on their own at this point, but can practice moving their arms and legs and supporting their head, without their movements being limited.

For an older baby, freedom of movement might include letting them pull up on objects and edge their way around the room at their own pace, rather than putting them in a jumper or holding their hands while they walk.

Freedom of movement is excellent for gross motor development, but it is also a great confidence builder. It sends a clear message to your child that you believe they are capable of developing their muscles and abilities in their own timeframe.

Another aspect of freedom of movement is comfortable clothing that supports a baby's growing ability to move. Dressing your baby in a onesie or loose fitting pants and shirt maximizes their ability to move. Providing young babies plenty of time unswaddled and without mittens or shoes also helps them learn to use their muscles.

2. Use respectful communication

Respectful communication is a hallmark of Montessori for children at all ages, and this can certainly begin at birth. It may feel silly at first, but try telling your infant each time you're going to pick them up. Let them know when it's time to eat or time for a diaper. It will begin to feel more natural each time you do it.

You might try asking permission, such as, "May I pick you up for a diaper change now?"

While they, of course, won't be able to answer you in words yet, they will understand your tone and if you ask regularly, they might start to respond in other ways, such as reaching for you or smiling.

We can also show respect through our communication by always using real, precise language. For example, rather than telling a baby a picture is a "doggie," try telling them it's a "dog," or maybe even the type or name of the dog if you know.

This type of communication lays a wonderful foundation for a relationship of mutual respect, and also exposes your child to a rich vocabulary from the beginning.

3. See caregiving as bonding

Caregiving tasks, such as feeding and changing diapers, can seem endless and can be truly exhausting, especially in the first few months. In Montessori, we try to view these activities as a time for bonding and connecting, a time to give a child our undivided attention.

In a classroom with multiple babies, or a home with older siblings around, this can be an especially important time to take a few moments and be present with the baby you are caring for. It can be so tempting to scroll through social media while breastfeeding or rush through diaper changes to get to the more fun stuff, but these are truly opportunities to slow down, make eye contact with your child, and simply be with them.

Montessori also views these activities as collaborative. We always try to do things "with" children, rather than "to" them.

For the youngest infants, collaboration might just be talking them through what you're doing, or following their lead for when they need to eat and sleep.

For older babies, you can include them more through asking them to crawl to the diaper changing area or bring you a diaper, or offering them two shirts or two foods to choose from.

Reframing these caregiving activities not only makes them more enjoyable for us parents, it ensures that we have regular check-ins where we're fully present with our babies. It makes them feel cared for, and never like a burden.

4. Allow time for independence

How can a baby be independent? They rely on us for so much—warmth, nourishment, safety, love—but we can actually help infants develop independence from the very beginning.

We can look for times when our baby is calm and alert and let them "play," or lay on a blanket, without being held. We can give them time to look around the room and visually explore their new world without interacting with or distracting them.

We can respond to mild fussing first by talking to them, by gently touching them or holding their hand, rather than immediately swooping them up into our arms. Sometimes all they need is a little reassurance that we're there.

Every baby is different and every baby's tolerance for these moments is unique. Some babies might be content to lay on their own for quite a while, while others seem to want to be held constantly. Follow your own child's lead, but look for little opportunities to help them stretch their independence from the start.

5. Practice observation

Observation is one of the most important principles of Montessori for all ages.

Each child is on their own developmental path and the only way we can really know what they need, what challenges they're ready for, is through careful observation.

Naturally, you spend tons of time watching your new baby. Observation is just a slightly different mindset, watching with intention, to see what new skills your baby might be working on, what parts of the room they stare at with captivated interest.

This type of observation will help you know what toys to offer your baby better than any developmental timeline. It will also help you get to know them in a deeper way.

Montessori can seem a bit mysterious or even intimidating, but so much of it is really so simple. It is much more about how we view and interact with children than about academic achievement or beautiful materials.

No matter what type of school you plan to send your children to, incorporating these principles at home from the beginning can add so much to your parenting journey.

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There are so many firsts we get to experience with our baby in those precious 24 hours after birth, but experts suggest that a first bath should not be one of them as waiting could help mama and baby with breastfeeding.

This week a study published in the Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic & Neonatal Nursing links delaying newborn baths with increased in-hospital exclusive breastfeeding rates.

The study's lead author, Heather Condo DiCioccio, is a nursing professional development specialist for the Mother/Baby Unit at Cleveland Clinic Hillcrest Hospital in Mayfield Heights, Ohio. She told TODAY her research was promoted by patients, who have increasingly been asking staff to hold off that first bath in recent years.

Part of this is likely due to the World Health Organization's stance on newborn bathing. The WHO recommends babies should not get a bath for 24 hours, but the recommendations don't really explain why the organization suggests this.

DiCioccio's study involved almost 1000 mama-baby pairs. Around half of the babies were bathed within 2 hours of birth, as per the hospital's previous policy. The rest saw the first bath delayed for at least 12 hours. The researchers found a link between delaying a bath and exclusive breastfeeding, but they could not precisely answer why. DiCioccio thinks it might have something to do with baby's sense of smell.

"They've been swimming in the amniotic fluid for 38, 39, 40 weeks of their life and the mother's breast puts out a similar smell as that amniotic fluid," she told TODAY. "So the thought is maybe the two smells help that baby actually latch. It makes it easier for the baby to find something comfortable and normal and that they like."

For DiCioccio, anything that can help mamas with breastfeeding is a welcome intervention, but the nursing link is not the only benefit to delayed bathing. She notes that keeping the vernix (that white stuff) on the baby for longer allows the baby to benefit from its antimicrobial properties and can help with lung development.

However, sometimes babies do need a bath soon after birth. When mothers are dealing with health issues that can see babies exposed to blood-borne pathogens (like HIV, active herpes lesions or hepatitis B or C), a bath sooner after birth is still best, DiCioccio explained to TODAY.

Even when blood-borne pathogens are not a concern, cultural preferences might be. Not every parent wants to delay baby's first bath, and that's okay—during DiCioccio's study the wishes of parents who wanted their baby bathed shortly after birth were respected—but it's good to have all the knowledge we can get when it comes to postnatal best practices.

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Ayesha Curry has three kids, a husband with a super busy career and a super busy career herself. It would be so easy for her priority list to be: 1) kids, 2) career, then 3) Steph—but the TV host, chef, Honest Company ambassador and entrepreneurial #bossbabe says her partner still has the number one spot, even after all these years.

Speaking to HelloGiggles, Curry explains that she and her Golden State Warrior husband have seen how partners prioritizing each other can benefit a family as a whole. That's why she and Stef don't prioritize the kids above each other.

"Both of our parents are still married and have been married for 30-plus years, and the one thing that they both shared with us—some through learning it the hard way, some through just making sure that they do it—is just making sure that we put each other first, even before the kids, as tough as that sounds," she tells HelloGiggles.

For the Currys, that means making time in those very busy schedules for date nights where they don't have to be mom and dad, they can just connect as partners. Curry admits that it's not always easy to break her brain out of mama-mode and prioritize something other than time with her kids, but she recognizes that when she and Stef put each other first, the kids benefit.

"That's been very important, as hard as it is. Because when you become a parent, you want to put your kids first, and we do, but we do it second to our relationship. Because ultimately, when our relationship is good, the kids are happy and they're thriving and our family life is good. We have to put that into perspective and realize that it's not us being selfish, it's making sure we set a strong foundation."



Experts back Curry up

Family therapist Raffi Bilek, director of the Baltimore Therapy Center, tells Fatherly that while putting each other first may seem counterintuitive to parents, it's important. "I think that the question of when to prioritize your partner over your kid is best answered with 'always,'" Bilek says.

David Code is a therapist and the author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First. He wants parents to lean on each other more because when we don't our kids can end up shouldering some of our emotional needs, and that's not fair. It's also not fair for parents to put their relationship and themselves last every time. He believes the "greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage yourself."

According to Code, "families centered on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and our marriages for our kids. Most of us have created child-centered families, where our children hold priority over our time, energy and attention."

Therapists like Code and Bilek are calling on parents to put their partners first, and stop buying into the myth that we don't have time for our spouses.

If the Currys can find time for each other in their crazy schedules, so too can the rest of us.

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This morning I left my 4-year-old sobbing in the arms of her Pre-K teacher. As I turned to leave, the sight of her little face crumbling, trying to be brave but not quite managing, tore right to my core. I walked away feeling like I was wading through treacle, my chest aching and my arms heavy and useless where my child should have been. It felt so very unnatural to leave when she was crying out my name.

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