3 ways my village helped me through a miscarriage

Angela is the owner of Kewe Clothing, an organic baby clothing line, and mother to three-year-old Ella. This is her story, in her words.

all about that mom life 💪
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Apr 4, 2016 at 7:29pm PDT

On Tuesday Oct. 11th, this year, my husband and I went in for a dating ultrasound. It was a day we had both been impatiently awaiting since finding out that we were expecting our second child in early September. My husband arrived home early from work bursting with anticipation! We couldn’t be more excited to hear our baby’s heart beat for the first time, together.

We arrived at the clinic, and watched the monitor in silence. My heart began to race and then it settled, only to sink into the pit of my stomach again.

The doctor came in to express her condolences, “We weren’t able to detect a heartbeat, I’m so sorry.” The doctor left and I melted into my husband’s arms. We sobbed together for what felt like an eternity before gathering ourselves and heading home.

Our first pregnancy was pretty textbook, and we felt so unprepared to deal with the days that would follow.

But in the darkness, there was light.

The people around me, my friends and family, my tribe, made all the difference.

I cannot think of any words to express our heartfelt thanks for the condolence you all have extended towards us. We are really thankful and appreciate your support and love in this time of loss. For those of you who have shared in this grief, I am extremely proud of your sympathy! It gives me great strength ❤️ . Tonight, we lit this candle to honour our angel baby and all the babies gone before us #1in4 #waveoflight #breakthesilence #youwillnotbeforgotten
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Oct 15, 2016 at 7:56pm PDT

1. They let me know I wasn’t alone

1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage in their life. Speaking about our loss encourages others to open up and share their stories. Hearing about other women’s experiences and triumphs brought me so much strength and reassurance. Even though those who had shared in this grief may have had a different experience, I found comfort in knowing that I wasn’t alone and was extremely proud of their sympathy.

current mood. #loved
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Jan 24, 2016 at 2:40pm PST

2. They granted me the time I needed to heal by offering to do the things I couldn’t find the motivation to do myself

I’m not typically one to ask for help in my day to day life. But this, this was out of my control and so was all that had surrounded me. Learning to embrace the help that was so generously extended to us allowed for me to take the time I truly needed to process what had happened, to heal. Both physically and emotionally.

Because the bananas are taking over my freezer!! Who can relate?! 🍌
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Jan 21, 2016 at 11:13am PST

3. They listened

When a miscarriage occurs, society’s attitude is to not talk about it, in fear that it’s too upsetting. Although I hadn’t had the opportunity to speak much about the conception, I felt an overwhelming urge to talk about our loss. Being encouraged to communicate my feelings, no matter what they were, helped me to maneuver through the grieving process. Grief is not an individual process with an allotted time, nor is it something to be rushed. I felt like my feelings were supported. I am forever grateful for the support we have received and continue to receive from our friends and family.

Happy International Women’s Day from the #ladyboss crew of #Vancity Never in my life have I met such an empowering and supportive group of women and the community continues to grow and inspire ❤️
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Mar 8, 2016 at 9:38am PST

If you or someone you know has experienced a pregnancy loss make sure to get or give the support that is needed, even if it’s not easy for you. Reach out to those closest to you. Ask for understanding and comfort as you work together through this difficult time.

Angela is the founder and owner of Kewe Clothing, a baby and children‘s clothing line with a focus on comfort and style.

“Leo’s favorite pants” 🍼🍪 Have you gotten your hands on a pair yet?! #meltmyheart . Thanks again for sharing this adorable 📸 @jillian.harris 🤗😘
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Sep 6, 2016 at 12:48pm PDT

I have this fancy camera and I hardly know how to use it 😁 . Aside from product shots, I typically use my iPhone for all the photographs you see in my feed 🙈 . Is there a magic lens I can buy that is fool proof?! I’m looking for bright, crisp photos, typically with a soft faded background. . Maybe I should just bite the bullet and take a class haha #aintnobodygottimeforthat
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Aug 19, 2016 at 1:13pm PDT

Textile design is one of my favourite aspects of this job! . Next season, on top of some fun new prints, we will also be introducing some new pieces! . Can you guess what items we will be adding to the shop later this year? 🤔💭
A photo posted by Kids Fashion – Made in CANADA (@keweclothing) on Jul 24, 2016 at 2:02pm PDT