It's true. Sometimes, motherhood is a heavy load to carry. Sometimes it's a 24/7 job with no personal days or sick leave or vacation time, and it consumes you. All over. Your identity becomes solely absorbed in motherhood, and the woman you were before seems long gone—or like she never even existed.
This mama gets it. She gets the heaviness. She gets the days when you wish you could just flip the switch off and silence all the responsibilities that come with being a mother. She gets the mom guilt that also accompanies these feelings. And in this moving Instagram post, this mama summarizes the emotions that mothers everywhere are feeling.
"I am not in love with motherhood all the time. In fact, sometimes I hate being a mother.
It’s consuming, overwhelming and a kind of raw that almost leaves you skinless and so exposed.
The loudness and chaos of it all, constantly hearing “mommy, mommy, mommy,” never feeling like I can sit without someone crawling on me, the mental load, the lack of an off switch, all of it. Sometimes it’s too much and I want to run. Like I could run and just keep running hoping that eventually I will just come out of this body and out of this 24/7 life of being needed and “on” and catapulted into a land of quiet and solitude.
It’s consuming, overwhelming and a kind of raw that almost leaves you skinless and so exposed. I’m constantly vulnerable in ways I could never have imagined; like I’m living this life that is no longer in my control. It gets its grip and holds on so tight.
I have to imagine you feel this too. I have to believe that these feelings, these days of mine are felt by others. I’m saying it out loud because this rawness is so very real, it’s oh so real, and I can’t cover it up.
I feel deeply for motherhood in so many ways. It’s not always beautiful. It’s certainly not always magical and I want the world to read these words while exhaling, knowing that someone is swirling around in the shite with them. Knowing we can mourn our old life together while understanding that it’s so very possible to love and be grateful for these small humans while feeling such a great loss for what was and who we were when our skin was not so exposed.
I see you."