Actress and mother of two Alyssa Milano says that a year after Who’s The Boss ended, she had two abortions. In a new podcast interview, Milano explains how her Catholic faith gave her misguided feelings about her abortions and the miscarriages she suffered before becoming a mom.

“I definitely had this moment of, ‘Well, I’m being punished,’ basically for abortions in my 20s,” Milano tells “Me Becoming Mom” podcast host Zoë Ruderman in a recent episode. “It took a while in therapy to realize that that was something that I was putting on myself.”

Before welcoming son Milo, 10, and daughter Elizabella, 7, with her husband David Bugliari, Milano had two miscarriages.

After her kids were born, her feelings of guilt and anxiety only increased, which she attributes to being raised in the Catholic faith. She opens up about these topics and more in her new memoir, Sorry Not Sorry.

“I always felt like, ‘What if something happens to these two little beings that I love so much? And is there a world in which they’re taken away from me for whatever karmic resolution needed to happen?” Milano said on the podcast.

She doesn’t regret having the two abortions—she fully recognizes that she was in no way ready to become a mother at the time.

“I chose. It was my choice. And it was absolutely the right choice for me,” she told her listeners. “It was not an easy choice. It was not something I wanted but it was something I needed — like most health care is.”