The one lesson from birth class I actually used

I'm a labor and delivery nurse and *this* was new information to me!

birth class learnings

It took me about two seconds as a labor nurse to realize that when most babies are born, it looks nothing like it does in the movies.

Rarely does someone's water break on the sidewalk. Babies usually take a long time to come out. I've never heard a woman actually breathe in a "hee-hee-hoo" pattern. And most mamas look like they've been through war (but just so joyful) once that baby is on their chest.

Basically, that Friends episode, The One Where Rachel Has a Baby: Part 1 is just not true.

When I got pregnant with my first child, I was pretty sure I didn't need to attend a birth class. My career had shown me so many things, both good and bad. What could a birth instructor possibly teach me that I didn't already know? But I wanted to try to have my baby without drugs, and I wanted my husband to understand the process and how he could help me. So I put my "know it all" nurse brain aside and gladly sat down next to my husband on that classroom floor.

Labor is not just a physical process

Unsurprisingly, our labor class involved a lot of time discussing the physical occurrences of birth. Dilation, effacement, stages of labor, pushing time, pelvic size—all of it was addressed. We also spent an evening talking about pushing techniques, partner support, breathing techniques, relaxation and ideal scenarios. All sounds normal, right?

When our birth instructor began to talk about the emotional signposts of labor, I was hooked.

So much of my nursing practice was related to the physical signs of labor and birth. I couldn't remember ever being taught about the emotional signs a mama displays. As I listened to her teach about each of the emotional signs—and what they meant—I couldn't help but remember all of the mamas I had cared for. I had watched so many of them march through those emotional signs, but had never fully realized how concisely they indicated what physical labor changes were occurring.

Emotional signposts of labor

Typically, labor occurs in stages: the first stage (labor), the second stage (pushing and delivery of the baby), and the third stage (delivery of the placenta).

The first stage of labor will be a woman's longest. That first stage is further broken down into three phases: early labor, active labor and transition.

Most women know most of this. What many women are not taught is that there are emotional signposts that line up with each of the phases of that long first stage of labor. And if you are privileged to birth a baby or watch someone you love labor and birth a baby, you'll likely be as surprised as I was by how true these emotions are.

Excitement: The first emotional signpost occurs during early labor. The mama is likely smiling, taking pictures, anxious, chatty and restless. Many mamas continue to talk through their contractions.

Seriousness: If a mama is getting serious, she is exhibiting the second emotional signpost of labor, and she has likely moved into active labor. Many women lose modesty, move very slowly and deliberately, stop talking through contractions, and are extremely focused.

Self-doubt: Is mama confused? Scared? Does she no longer think she can do it? These feelings are the third emotional signpost. She has likely stopped trusting herself, her partner and her body. She's probably ready to call it quits. But, these emotional responses usually mean she is in transition—the last part of the first stage of labor. That means that the baby is close to being born!

Sounds interesting, but what do I do with this knowledge?

Birth is such a personal process. Everyone's story is so different, so intimate, so perfectly and beautifully theirs. But as a witness to hundreds of births, including my own two, I cannot deny that most women's bodies are designed to follow similar processes during labor. The more you know about the process, the better you'll be able to deal with all of the highs and lows.

Tuck these emotional signposts into the back of your brain. Share them with your partner. Talk about it with your doula. My husband and I remember so clearly the moment in both of my births when the self-doubt started—both of our girls were born an hour later!

When you're laboring, let the seriousness, the confusion, the doubt and the fear all be an encouragement to you and your partner. Labor is one big emotional roller coaster, but those ups and downs also mean you are making progress. You are doing it. You are that much closer to holding that baby in your arms.

Without camps and back-to-school plans still TBD, the cries of "I'm bored!" seem to be ringing louder than ever this summer. And if you're anything like me, by August, I'm fresh out of boxes to check on my "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys.

With that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite wooden toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


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Sorry, you can’t meet our baby yet

Thank you for understanding. ❤️

In just over three weeks, we will become parents. From then on, our hearts will live outside of our bodies. We will finally understand what everyone tells you about bringing a child into the world.

Lately, the range of emotions and hormones has left me feeling nothing short of my new favorite mom word, "hormotional." I'm sure that's normal though, and something most people start to feel as everything suddenly becomes real.

Our bags are mostly packed, diaper bag ready, and birth plan in place. Now it's essentially a waiting game. We're finishing up our online childbirth classes which I must say are quite informational and sometimes entertaining. But in between the waiting and the classes, we've had to think about how we're going to handle life after baby's birth.

I don't mean thinking and planning about the lack of sleep, feeding schedule, or just the overall changes a new baby is going to bring. I'm talking about how we're going to handle excited family members and friends who've waited just as long as we have to meet our child. That sentence sounds so bizarre, right? How we're going to handle family and friends? That sentence shouldn't even have to exist.

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I wasn’t sure if I wanted to have kids—so here’s what I did

We asked our three most pessimistic friends who have kids whether it's worth it or not

As told to Liz Tenety.

Around the time my husband and I were turning 30, we had a genuine conversation about whether or not we wanted kids. I was the hesitant one because I was like, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just hold on. Okay, let's talk about this. Because we love our life. We like traveling. Is this what we want?"

My husband said, "Let's ask our three most pessimistic, crabby friends who have kids whether or not it's worth it."

And every single one of them was like, "Oh, it's unmissable on planet earth."

So when I got pregnant, I was—and I'm not ashamed to say this and I don't think you should be—I was as connected with the baby in my belly as if it were a water bottle. I was like, I don't know you. I don't know what you are, but you can be some gas pain sometimes, but other than that, we're going to have to meet each other and suss this relationship out.

But all the cliches are true that you just know what to do when the baby comes out. Some of the times are hard, some of them are easier, but you just gotta use your gut.

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