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Welcoming a new baby to the family when you have a toddler is a joyous occasion, but can also be fraught with trepidation and worry.


With the help of some tried and true tips, the transition will be more manageable and you will better understand what your little big sibling is feeling.

1. Don’t spill the beans too early.

It’s exciting to discover that you’re expecting again and even more exciting to share the news. Great, share it! But not with your toddler. Their limited sense of time means that telling them of this exciting event months early creates worry and anxiety.

I suggest waiting as long as you can, and then giving concrete details. “After spring comes and there are new flowers, then the baby will be here.” Waiting until the last month to tell them will keep the whole family happier.

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2. Reassure your child: You are my first baby forever.

It may sound exciting to you that your toddler will be a big brother or sister, but your child has no idea what that means. Toddlers are just figuring out what being “me” is. And now they have a new role: big brother or sister.

Instead of focusing on that, remind your child that he will always be your baby, even with a new baby here. He can’t hear it enough! Also remind yourself just how little your older one is. Three-four-five-six. They are still new to life in many ways. And they need to know you will still be there for them, in all their baby needs.

3. Expect regression.

Toddlers regress. This can be before the baby comes or after (or both!). It’s their way of communicating that they’re not sure what is going on. More clinging, toileting setbacks, increased whining or tantrums and sleep disruptions are common.

Do your best to remember how little your older one is and avoid control battles as best you can. Instead, bring them closer—they need you more. Extra hugs, cuddles and babying them can go a long way in helping them move through this major change in your family.

4. Make it ALL about the older one.

“Hey! Your baby was looking for you, wondering where you are.” “Look, baby! Your sister is back, she came home from school.” Presents delivered to the door? Let your bigger one open them and play with toys, read books and explore the other goodies in the box. You’ll be grateful for friends who remember to send a big-sibling gift, too.

5. Jealousy is normal.

We expand our families with the idea of having siblings who love each other and are friends for life. That will happen. Later. For now, having a new baby can bring out love in your toddler but also jealousy and a whole mix of feelings.

Try to recognize the anger and confusion your child is feeling (“It is so frustrating when mommy has to feed the baby again!”). It will help them handle those complex emotions. Recognize her need to be with you: “I will change baby’s diaper so fast so I can come back and read you a book.” It helps her feel understood.

6. Make your child Mommy’s sidekick.

Young children like to help. Bring your toddler onto the “management” side with you by giving her simple tasks. Let her bring you a diaper for the baby, or hold the baby’s toy while you get him into the car seat. These empowering moments give your firstborn a way to be part of the action and to be mama’s little helper.

7. Grab even the smallest moments of alone time.

It can be hard to manage two. Small pockets of time that are solely for you and the older one can go a long way. A few minutes reading a book can help your child feel connected to you. Label that time, “It is only mommy and (child’s name) reading now. No baby here.” Your child will know he has something special with you.

8. Ask for help from everyone who will give it.

A second baby is an adjustment, a joy and a big change. You may be someone who likes to do it all yourself, but now is not the time for that. Meals, free babysitting, someone to take your child to the park, groceries dropped off: Accept help. You can return the favor in the future.

9. Let go of perfection.

Mamas can be hard on themselves. I encourage you instead to go easy on yourself.

As you let go of perfection, you will relax more and find greater joy in being with your two bundles of joy. Dishes can remain dirty, bedtime may have to vary a bit. But at the end of the day, you are a mama of two and you are doing it!

Pro tip: The audiobook version of How Toddlers Thrive: What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success is now available! (Foreword by Ms. Sarah Jessica Parker.)

Our babies come out as beautiful, soft and natural as can be—shouldn't their clothes follow suit?

Here are nine of our favorite organic kids clothing brands that prove safe fabrics + stylish designs are a natural fit.

Estella

A brick and mortar store in Manhattan that opened in 2002, Estella is NYC's go-to shop for luxury baby gifts—from sweet-as-pie organic clothing to eco-friendly toys.

L'ovedbaby

@lovedbaby

We l'oved this collection from the moment we laid eyes on it. (See what we did there 🤣) Free of things harsh added chemicals, dangerous flame retardants, and harmful dyes, this collection is 100% organic and 100% gorgeous. We especially adore their soft, footed rompers, comfy cotton joggers, and newborn-friendly kimono bodysuits.

Looking to stock up? Don't miss Big-Find Thursday every week on their site—a 24-hour flash sale that happens Thursdays at 9 a.m. PST and features a different body style, collection, and discount every week!

Hanna Andersson

@happyhannas

One of our all-time favorite brands for durability, style, + customer service, Hanna Andersson doesn't disappoint in the organic department, either. From an aww-inducing organic baby layette collection all the way to their iconic pajamas, there are so many organic styles to swoon over from this beloved brand. And we swear their pajamas are magic—they seem to grow with your little one, fitting season after season!

Monica + Andy

@monicaandandy

The fabric you first snuggle your baby in matters. Monica + Andy's (gorgeous) collection is designed for moms and babies by moms with babies, and we love it all because it's made of super-soft GOTS-certified organic cotton that's free of chemicals, lead, and phthalates. Newborn pieces feature thoughtful details like fold-over mittens and feet.

Finn + Emma

@finnandemma

"Here boring designs and toxic chemicals are a thing of the past while modern colors, fresh prints and heirloom quality construction are abundant." We couldn't agree more. Made from 100% organic cotton, eco friendly dyes, and in fair trade settings, we love this modern collection's mix of style + sustainability.

We especially love the Basics Collection, an assortment of incredibly soft, beautiful apparel + accessories including bodysuits, zip footies, pants, hats, and bibs, all available in a gender-neutral color palette that can work together to create multiple outfit combinations. The pieces are perfect for monochrome looks or for mixing with prints for a more modern style.

SoftBaby

@littleaddigrey for @softbaby_clothes

You'll come for SoftBaby's organic fabrics, but you'll stay for their adorable assortment of prints. From woodland foxes to urban pugs, there's no limit to their assortment (meaning you'll even be able to find something for the new mama who's hard to shop for). Plus, the name says it all--these suckers are soft. Get ready for some serious cuddle time.

Gap Baby

@gapkids

Organic may not be the first thing that comes to mind when you think of the Gap, but this popular brand actually carries a wide variety of organic (and adorable) baby + toddler clothes. From newborn layette basics to toddler sleepwear—and more—there's something for everyone in this collection. Everything is 100% cotton, super soft + cozy, and perfect for eco-conscious mamas.

Winter Water Factory

@winterwaterfactory

Certified organic cotton with Brooklyn-based swagger? Be still our hearts. Winter Water Factory features screen-printed textiles in bold designs you'll want to show off (get ready for some major Instagram likes). And the husband-and-wife co-founders keep sustainability at the forefront of their brand, meaning you can feel good about your purchase--and what you're putting on your baby.

The company makes everything from kids' clothes to crib sheets (all made in the USA). For even more cuteness, pair their signature rompers with a hat or bonnet.

Under the Nile

@underthenile

Under the Nile has been making organic baby clothes since before it was cool. Seriously, they were the first baby clothing company in the USA to be certified by The Global Organic Textile Standard. They've kept up that legacy of high standards by growing their Egyptian cotton on a biodynamic farm without the use of pesticides or insecticides, and all of their prints are made with metal-free colors and no chemical finishes.

Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Tantrums are one of those unavoidable parts of parenthood and when you're in it, you're really in it. Your toddler has gone boneless and is sprawled crying across the floor. What can you do?

Here are six things to try:

1. Be present and listen.

My number one recommended strategy is to be present. In some ways, this sounds deceptively simple. If you walked into a room and saw a father using this strategy with his child, you'd see a child having a tantrum—yelling, crying, maybe kicking the floor—and a parent just sitting there with them. How hard could that be? Very, it turns out. Pay attention to what is happening and listen to what your child is trying to say.

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