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'Bachelor' alum Jade Roper Tolbert fights back against comments over daughter's development

When an Instagram user suggested her daughter may have autism, Tolbert clapped back.

'Bachelor' alum Jade Roper Tolbert fights back against comments over daughter's development

It's something that moms deal with whether they are a public figure on TV or a more private mama in a small town. People often feel that they are helping a mother when they come to her with unsolicited advice. But often these comments aren't helpful. They are hurtful.

Just ask Bachelor alumna Jade Roper Tolbert, who is currently pregnant and recently received a "concerned" comment suggesting her 2-year-old daughter, Emerson, may be showing signs of autism.

Tolbert took to her Instagram Stories to share the comment and shut such conversations down.

"So cute. But how old is she? She's kind of showing signs of autism. Just thinking. She's so precious!!!" wrote this person, whose identity Tolbert graciously decided to obscure in her screenshot.


"If you all mean well, it's still not okay to say she has Autism or needs speech therapy or to comment any sort of thing like that to anyone about their child," Tolbert wrote, before assuring readers, "We are her parents, we have a great pediatrician, and we know her development."

Mama knows her child best 

It's so odd for this person to assume that a mother like Tolbert wouldn't be watching her daughter's development closely, as all loving parents do. But not so surprising is the way they feel it's completely within their rights, and even helpful, to point this out to a stranger.

A counterpoint to this argument, which another reader posted to Tolbert, is that she opened herself up to this kind of commentary by posting photos and videos of her daughter.

Tolbert and husband Tanner Tolbert, whom she met and married on Bachelor in Paradise, make their living by publicizing the details of their lives. A good portion of their Instagram accounts (with 1.1 million and 645,000 followers respectively) are sponsored posts. Emerson also has her own account with 157,000 followers, and even her unborn baby brother has almost 84,000 followers of his own.

Inviting people into your life through social media isn't an invitation for unsolicited parenting advice 

But Tolbert doesn't think that her family's social media presence entitles people to be rude. "I share parts of my life to bring joy, and because they bring me joy," she wrote. "But she is not a monkey to dance for you (or in this case to show you how many words she knows/doesn't know)."

This whole debate illustrates the reason many celebrities as well as regular parents have opted to keep their kids off their social media accounts and out of the public eye. While we have the choice of whether to post our faces online, our tots have little say in the matter.

"I'm telling you right now, we don't want our daughter's face anywhere ever until she decides because I have the utmost respect for her," Kristen Bell once explained to Access Hollywood of her campaign to stop paparazzi from snapping her daughters' pics. After making Hello Bello ads with another baby, Bell later clarified that her main concern is for Lincoln's and Delta's safety.

For those of us who aren't famous, there's another possible concern here: If kids do show differences in development, a school might find a parents' post describing their worries and use it as grounds not to admit them.

In the end, it is up to parents how much they choose to share about their family life. And when parents do choose to share photos of their children, that doesn't mean they are asking for unsolicited advice.

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By its very nature, motherhood requires some lifestyle adjustments: Instead of staying up late with friends, you get up early for snuggles with your baby. Instead of spontaneous date nights with your honey, you take afternoon family strolls with your little love. Instead of running out of the house with just your keys and phone, you only leave with a fully loaded diaper bag.

For breastfeeding or pumping mamas, there is an additional layer of consideration around when, how and how much your baby will eat. Thankfully, when it comes to effective solutions for nursing or bottle-feeding your baby, Dr. Brown's puts the considerations of mamas and their babies first with products that help with every step of the process—from comfortably adjusting to nursing your newborn to introducing a bottle to efficiently pumping.

With countless hours spent breastfeeding, pumping and bottle-feeding, the editors at Motherly know the secret to success is having dependable supplies that can help you feed your baby in a way that matches lifestyle.

Here are 9 breastfeeding and pumping products to help you no matter what the day holds.

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Hands-Free Pumping Bra

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Manual Breast Pump with SoftShape™ Silicone Shield

Dr. Brown's manual breast pump

If you live a life that sometimes takes you away from electrical outlets (that's most of us!), then you'll absolutely want a manual breast pump in your arsenal. With two pumping modes to promote efficient milk expression and a comfort-fitted shield, a manual pump is simply the most convenient pump to take along and use. Although it may not get as much glory as an electric pump, we really appreciate how quick and easy this manual pump is to use—and how liberating it is not to stress about finding a power supply.

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Nipple Shields and Sterilization Case

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There is a bit of a learning curve to breastfeeding—for both mamas and babies. Thankfully, even if there are some physical challenges (like inverted nipples or a baby's tongue tie) or nursing doesn't click right away, silicone nipple shields can be a huge help. With a convenient carry case that can be sterilized in the microwave, you don't have to worry about germs or bacteria either. 🙌

$9.99

Silicone One-Piece Breast Pump

Dr. Brown's silicone pump

When you are feeding your baby on one breast, the other can still experience milk letdown—which means it's a golden opportunity to save some additional milk. With a silent, hands-free silicone pump, you can easily collect milk while nursing.

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Breast to Bottle Pump & Store Feeding Set

After a lifetime of nursing from the breast, introducing a bottle can be a bit of a strange experience for babies. Dr. Brown's Options+™ and slow flow bottle nipples were designed with this in mind to make the introduction to bottles smooth and pleasant for parents and babies. As a set that seamlessly works together from pumping to storing milk to bottle feeding, you don't have to stress about having everything you need to keep your baby fed and happy either.

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Washable Breast Pads

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Mamas' bodies are amazingly made to help breast milk flow when it's in demand—but occasionally also at other times. Especially as your supply is establishing or your breasts are fuller as the length between feeding sessions increase, it's helpful to use washable nursing pads to prevent breast milk from leaking through your bra.

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Breast Milk Storage Bags

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The essential for mamas who do any pumping, breast milk storage bags allow you to easily and safely seal expressed milk in the refrigerator or freezer. Dr. Brown's™ Breast Milk Storage Bags take it even further with extra thick walls that block out scents from other food items and feature an ultra secure lock to prevent leaking.

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Watch one mama's review of the new Dr. Brown's breastfeeding line here:

This article was sponsored by Dr. Brown's. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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