Grieving your pre-baby self? This powerful message is changing how moms see postpartum
Instagram/beedelacruzz
“Mourn her, then meet the new you.”
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Postpartum can feel like a tidal wave—and Instagram mom @beedelacruzz (Bee De La Cruz) doesn’t shy away from that truth in her reel with over 2.4 million views. She came out strong with a list titled “Postpartum is a monster and here is what I would tell you myself 3 years to the day if I could,” offering unfiltered wisdom about identity, boundaries, and healing after baby.
The honest truths that helped her heal—and are resonating with moms everywhere
De La Cruz starts with the hardest one: Stop waiting to feel like your old self—she’s gone. “Mourn her, then meet the new you.” She reminds moms that feeling resentment or hate on tough days is a natural experience. And tough love for yourself? It means ignoring mom influencers who make you feel worse, speaking up for help, and ditching the “bounce-back” pressure.
Related: I love my baby, but I miss myself
Postpartum advice that healed her—and could help you too
- Prioritize sleep, sunlight, and boundaries—forget more gear.
- Ask your partner for help—communication matters.
- Shower and get dressed each day, even if you aren’t leaving the house.
- Seek therapy, medication, or support without shame—it’s healing, not weakness.
These tips offer a way to honor your grief, meet your unmet needs, and support your ongoing healing and growth.
When your sense of self shifts—how matrescence helps explain the emotional rollercoaster
The term matrescence describes this rite of passage—a puberty of motherhood that shifts who you are inside and out. That identity crisis can hit at unexpected times: one day you’re a confident professional, the next you’re staring at clothes that don’t fit or struggling to get through the morning.
Understanding postpartum through the lens of matrescence connects you to the many other moms navigating this profound transformation—reminding you’re not alone.
Related: Motherhood is an identity crisis. Here are 5 ways to embrace the new you being born
Expert support for reclaiming yourself
Therapists and experts remind us that postpartum healing deserves attention and support—not silence. The CDC’s postnatal care recommendations highlight the importance of mental health check-ins, asking for help, and normalizing therapy.
These steps can help a mom move from burnout to renewal. Support groups like Postpartum Support International, The Motherhood Center, and Moms Mental Health Initiative offer resources, virtual support groups, and access to trained professionals—because no mom should have to navigate this alone.
A personal note on postpartum
My son is four months old, and becoming a mother has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. There’s so much love in the smallest moments—it’s overwhelming in the best way. At the same time, I’m stretched in more directions than I ever imagined.
Between housework, caring for my baby, cooking, and returning to work, there’s barely a moment that’s mine. Even my showers are rushed. I’m losing sleep not just from night wakings, but because —I wake to check on him instinctively.
Still, even when I do get a moment alone, I find myself missing him. Everything feels new and different, and I’m trying to find my footing. I don’t have it all figured out, but I’m moving through it as best I can. I hold onto the hope that with time, I’ll come through the static as a more grounded, confident woman—someone who knows how to carry all of it and still hold space for herself. And even with the hard days, I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.
This viral Q&A offers a glimpse into the kind of emotional awareness that grows when parenting is rooted in empathy and intention. When we pause to listen, model compassion, and create space for feelings, we help shape kids who carry those values into their future relationships and choices.
For anyone navigating the postpartum chapter—whether it’s fresh or ongoing—it helps to remember that even small, loving efforts make a difference. There’s no single map for motherhood, but there is meaning in every moment we show up with care.
We grow right alongside our children. And through that growth, we discover new strength, deeper connection, and the resilience to keep going.
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