82% of moms say they feel lonely—this is the wake-up call we can’t ignore

Modern motherhood might look Instagram-perfect, but beneath the filter, a growing loneliness is taking hold. A new report from Peanut, the app for moms, gives hard numbers to what many Millennials and Gen Zers feel:  motherhood often feels like a solo act in a world that promised us a village.

As a mom of five raising kids in a new state (we moved two years ago), loneliness is a familiar feeling. It often feels like everyone else already has their mom crew or is lucky enough to have involved family nearby (I don’t.) But here’s the stunner: The vast majority of moms feel lonely. How can all of us feel so alone?

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The stats paint a stark picture

According to Peanut’s new report, Where Did the Village Go?, 2,250 surveyed moms revealed just how deep the loneliness runs:

• 82% of mothers report feeling lonely
• 50% say they cry weekly due to lack of support
• Nearly 90% rely on digital connections over face-to-face support
• Only 14% live near family—even though 65% want intergenerational help

These numbers point to a systemic collapse in community support for moms.

One anonymous Peanut user said it plainly: “For someone to have checked in on me fresh postpartum—that would have made all the difference.” Another shared: “One mom friend… who I could text to say ‘this is hard’ without shame.”

Moms aren’t meant to raise kids alone

In fact, many experts say that never before in human history has more been expected from the nuclear family (AKA, moms), without levels of support from grandparents, aunts and uncles, and involved neighbors. 

Where did the village go? The built-in village—grandparents, neighbors, community—has fragmented. Instead, moms spend hours scrolling parenting apps, walking through solitude, or troubleshooting in isolation.

What’s fueling this loneliness? Peanut points to typical modern pressures: 

• Delayed parenthood
• Uprooted lives
• Relentless work schedules
• Pandemic fallout. 

Notably, while 65% want intergenerational support, only 14% live near family. That glaring gap means grandparents, once just next door, now seem lightyears away.

We may say we uplift motherhood—but our systems don’t. When schools shut without backup plans, or companies dismiss flexible work, moms scramble. Cultural praise doesn’t translate to practical support—they’re still the ones making it all work.

Related: The messy, hilarious truth about new motherhood—told in painfully funny comics

And yet, there’s hope

Moms are recreating their villages in fresh ways: stroller workouts that double as support groups, library story-time crews that become lifelines, and WhatsApp groups that hold space for midnight meltdowns. They’re forging communities online, in parks, and even through support tools like Peanut. The need for connection hasn’t gone away. Only the infrastructure has.

It’s time to do more than acknowledge the problem

Peanut’s report ends with a clear call: make asking for help normal. Reshape workplaces to truly value parenting. And challenge the government to treat caregiving like the essential labor it is.

If you’re looking for your village, this is your reminder: needing support doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. And you are far from alone. We are all lonely. That’s a sign that we all need the village we desperately crave.

Mamas, how are you building your village? Whether it’s a playgroup, a meal swap, or a midnight meme-sharing circle—tell us what’s working (or what you wish you had). Your voice could help someone else find their people.

Sources:

1. Where Did the Village Go? Peanut. Where Did the Village Go? report on modern motherhood, 2024.