Do moms ever get to ‘bed rot’ again? This viral debate hits hard

When model and mom Emily DiDonato posted on TikTok that motherhood means you will “never be lazy again,” she struck a chord. In her video, which has more than 2 million views, DiDonato said the second she had her baby, she stopped sitting down. She described eating while standing, moving constantly, and never again having a minute to herself.

“I hate to break it to you, bestie,” she told viewers, “but those days are done.”

• @Zoe | Navigating Motherhood: “I completely agree. I’m legit watching this video begging my baby for five minutes of rotting on the bed.”
• •: “mourning bedrot was the hardest part of my transition to parenthood lol”
• Randomuser1212.12: I have one kid and a good partner and it’s an entirely different experience. I believe you, but it’s why we stopped at one.
• Elizabeth_betz: “I have a baby and I’m definitely able to bed rot sometimes. It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes and say no. It’s hard at first especially with toddlers but you have to continue to stay firm in your boundaries. You definitely can’t be a pushover as a parent. It’s also okay to not entertain your kids 24/7.”

Moms across the internet had mixed reactions. Some joked this was digital birth control, others shared solidarity, and many questioned if this is really the only version of motherhood.

Related: Keke Palmer’s message to moms: stop feeling guilty for working—‘especially in this economy’

Most moms say ‘bed rotting’ isn’t an option after kids

According to a poll on Motherly’s Instagram, when asked if they can ‘bed rot’ (lay in bed doing nothing) since having kids, 70% of moms said “absolutely not,” while 30% admitted they sneak it in sometimes.

We asked moms through this poll what their version of bed rotting looks like now as parents. Here’s what they said:

• @mama2cjcx3: “Sitting on the couch w/ a book while they play independently.”
• @stephpaladino: “Watching a movie with my kids while simultaneously feeling guilty about screen time.”
• @kenndy91121: “Long warm shower.”
• @amythedreamer3: “Folding the laundry and catching up on shows.”

Why moms need time to themselves

Motherhood shifts your rhythms in real ways. But the idea that moms should never get a break is not just exhausting, it is harmful. Chelsea Fagan posted her own video in response and pointed out that moms need and deserve time to recharge. Whether that looks like going out with friends, watching a show, or lying in bed scrolling, it matters.

Time for yourself does not appear on its own. It requires support. That might mean a partner, family, friends, childcare swaps, or paid caregivers. The bigger conversation we need to have is not about normalizing exhaustion but about normalizing help.

Bed rotting as self-care

There is even an Instagram trend around “bed rotting” that reframes intentional rest days as self-care. One Lauren Elizabeth put it simply: “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” For some moms, that means scheduling it on the calendar like an appointment. For others, it might mean a short reset after bedtime or before a busy weekend.

As a working mom, I can say it is possible. I work 50 hours a week and still stayed caught up on all my shows this summer, including Love Island. I am pro bed rot whenever it fits, even if it is just for ten minutes.

Related: Moms need help after birth—but for 1 in 6, no one outside their partner showed up

 The takeawayParenting is all-consuming, but it does not erase your need for downtime. Moms deserve rest. Carving out space for yourself is not selfish. It is necessary.