Kids can be ruthless sometimes, especially when it comes to others behaving outside of perceived gender norms, but kids can also lift each other up, and that’s exactly what happened after a fourth grade boy in Southern California was made fun of for liking Taylor Swift.

Poway Unified School District shared a reel on Instagram that went viral for being so wholesome! A group of counselors banded together with Swifties from the school to throw a “Shake It Off” dance session and friendship making bracelet party to show the boy he’s not alone. The video showed the group singing and dancing to Tay Tay’s 1989 hit while stranding their jewelry. It also shared the sweet thank-you card the boy wrote to his principal.

“Thank you for everything you done [sic] for me today. Thank you for your kind words and encouragement. You made me feel being a Swiftie is an awesome thing. I feel like I belong now. THANK YOU!” the card read. It also had “Shake It Off” lyrics and “I felt like I was an old Cardigan” in reference to Taylor’s Folklore single.

This is a powerful example of students empowering each other, but there are lots of kids who get bullied and don’t have a community there to lift them up. As a parent, there’s nothing more heart wrenching than knowing your kid is getting bullied at school. Especially if it gets to the point where they refuse to go to school or request to change schools. It can be a hopeless feeling since we’re not physically there to protect them during school hours, but there are ways you can help your child develop tools to combat bullying and effective ways to respond when your kid is being targeted.

The first step is helping your child learn to decipher between bullying and rude comments. According to child therapist Dr. Mercedes, bullying tends to have three components: intentionally cruel behavior, repeated over time, and abuse of power (which can look like size, strength or social status at school). Next, teach them about good friendships, practice how to respond if someone says something hurtful, help them be allies and focus on your relationship and trust.

If they’re being targeted, there are ten things you can do to react and repair: take a deep breath, listen, label what happened, reassure, do not blame your kid, praise, instill hope, team up with your kid, restore self-respect and keep perspective.

Of course, we can’t always fix the problems ourselves, and when these tools aren’t enough it’s important to get help from experts.