J.R. Milton grew up in a “traditional” household. He’s implied that his mom did typical “motherly duties” and his dad worked and didn’t help much in the “domestic” area. And as a hard-working UPS driver, Milton decided to take to his TikTok and proudly explain to his followers why he never helps his wife do chores or take care of his four young children, who are 7 and under.

“I don’t help her clean, do laundry, take care of the kids — none of that,” he claimed. 

Now before y’all grab your pitchforks, listen to this.

In his video with more than 7 million views, Milton says he never “helps” his wife — with the key word being help. 

@minton__jr ♬ original sound – J.R. Minton

“Because I do what I am supposed to do as a father and a husband. I cook. I clean. I do the laundry. I take care of the kids. I can’t help my wife do those things because they are my job, too,” he said emphatically. He then prompted men to take a page from his book of parenting and being a good husband. 

“Change the way you speak, change the way you think, and grow the f*** up and be a man,” Milton says in his video. 

While things are certainly a bit better these days when it comes to equal parenting, Milton’s PSA video definitely went viral, with other moms commenting about how they wanted to show this video to their husbands. 

“How do I show my husband this without him knowing it’s from me,” many commenters asked. Sadly, one commenter said, “Not me seeing this while crying in the bathroom cause I’m just so damn exhausted.”

All of this tracks, because unfortunately, according to a recent study from the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ American Time Use Survey, men spend only 3.6 hours daily on domestic tasks, whereas women over the age of 15 spend 37% more time doing domestic tasks at 5.7 hours daily. And if they’re moms who work outside of the home at least 35 hours a week, the gender gap does decrease, but it certainly doesn’t disappear, according to the survey. Women are still spending 4.9 hours daily on childcare and home responsibilities, even with a career. 

As Milton told Today, “We are not helping our wives, we are not babysitting our kids. That way of thinking needs to change,” he says. “It’s time to grow up.”

Partners and husbands? Take note.