Sometimes, we judge ourselves by impossible standards.
Be honest: have you ever felt like you weren’t a good mother because you didn’t balance caring for your children, home, career and marriage flawlessly? What does that even look like, anyway?
One mother explains how damaging it is when moms apply unfair, unrealistic expectations to themselves. It doesn’t help you become a supermama. It just makes you feel less than—and you’re anything but, mama.
Alyson Hempsey shared an eye-opening tweet to her Instagram account. It reads:
“‘My house is a disaster! I’m such a bad dad.’
-said no dad ever because men don’t grow up with the pressure of society telling them that their existence should revolve around housekeeping and child tending.”
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She then drove the point home with a powerful essay:
“Think about it, mama:
When dad’s have a messy house, they have a messy house. ♂️
When moms have a messy house, they’re a bad mom. ♀️
How does that make sense?
Because women are taught from a young age to be perfect in order to be loved, seen, and whole.
This doesn’t go away in motherhood, it intensifies.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
There are probably plenty of dads who don’t like a messy house, and would prefer it to remain tidy! They mean even feel bad out themselves if the house is messy.
The difference is: most don’t consider a messy house to be a negative reflection on them as a father.
Moms, Is it preferable to have a clean home? YES! Can our environment have an effect on our mood? YES!⠀⠀⠀
But, your house doesn’t need to be perfect in order for you to love and accept yourself. You can do it right now, with loads of laundry piled everywhere, and with dishes in the sink.
You’re a good mama when your house is messy. You’re a good mama when your house is clean. You’re a good mama all the time, mama. ❤️✨”