A push to pay parents to stay home is gaining traction—but moms say what they really need is child care they can afford

A new wave of family policy proposals is coming out of Washington, and they sound like a throwback. Several high-profile politicians—including Senators J.D. Vance and Josh Hawley—are advocating for bigger child tax credits and incentives for stay-at-home parenting. Their pitch? Reversing America’s declining birth rate by making it easier for one parent (usually mom) to be home with the kids.

But what moms are actually saying is: it’s not that simple.

Related: Parental leave isn’t enough

The proposal, as reported in The New York Times, suggests eliminating child care tax credits and instead giving direct financial support to families. For example, Hawley wants to expand the child tax credit to $5,000 per child, while Representative Blake Moore is pushing to remove the work requirement tied to existing tax credits—so stay-at-home parents could also benefit.

It’s all part of what these lawmakers call a “family-focused” approach—favoring more time at home over solutions that support working parents.

Why do moms work?

• They want to work.
• They need to work for financial reasons.
• They are single moms and don’t have a partner to pay the bills.
• Their partner is disabled and unable to earn to support the family.
• They are passionate about their career. 
• They invested in their education and want to have an impact in their field. 
• They want an identity outside of motherhood. 
• They don’t want to rely on a provider. 
• The current tax system punishes parents who stop working (no social security wages paid for years spent as unpaid caregivers). 
• Healthcare is tied to employers and families need coverage. 
• No reason necessary, she just works! 

At Motherly, we 100% support programs that make it easier for women to be stay-at-home moms. We advocate for paid support for stay-at-home parents, social security contributions, and a flexible work culture that makes it easier to return when they’re ready.

But we also know that for most women, work is something they need—or want—to do while also raising kids.

Just like men. 

Can we really call it ‘family-friendly’ if the only investment is in making it easier not to work—rather than making it easier for the vast majority of parents to work in a healthier, more sustainable way?

As the cost of child care now averages over $11,000 per year per child—double that in some cities—most American households can’t survive on a single income. Nearly two-thirds of mothers in two-parent households work outside the home, not because they don’t want to be home, but because the math doesn’t add up.

Advocates for paid leave and subsidized child care, like Moms First founder Reshma Saujani, have called the proposed credits a distraction. “No medals, no PR stunts,” she said. “People need child care and paid leave.”

Related: ‘We weren’t meant to do this alone’: A mom’s viral video on why parenting feels so hard in the U.S.

Even among moms who want to stay home, the proposed tax credits—$5,000 or so—don’t come close to replacing a full-time income. As one Ohio mom told the Times: “It’s pennies when you need dollars.”

This isn’t just about birth rates or personal preference. It’s about policy that reflects how families actually live now—most with two working parents, limited support, and an overwhelming mental load.

Motherly takeaway: 3 things moms say would actually help

1. Subsidized child care
   We don’t need a tax credit in place of care—we need support that makes child care accessible, safe, and high-quality.
   
2. Paid family leave
   The U.S. is still one of the only wealthy countries without guaranteed paid leave.
   
3. Real workplace flexibility
   From hybrid schedules to equitable parental leave, we need jobs that reflect the lives of working families—not an idealized version of the past.
   

Because real family values mean supporting parents—at work and at home.