The science of sleep: 10 ways to build a better bedtime

There is nothing like a messed up sleep schedule to negate all the rest and restoration we may have brought back from a vacation or holiday travel. Whether it's a missed nap, a delayed bedtime, travel-induced jet-lag or some other sleep issue, lack of quality sleep can amount to an over-abundance of cranky.

To help ease the stress of fatigue and frustration, it may help to know that there is a lot of biology behind successful sleep.

Knowing a little about sleep may help us be more objective about what is going on in the moment, and a little easier on ourselves and our kids because of it. By understanding what happens during quality, healthy sleep, we can strengthen our resolve to put systems and routines in place that prioritize sleep and respect it for the critical role it plays in our own lives and our children's growth and development.


So, when are we supposed to sleep?

Circadian rhythms

The body's natural circadian (daily) rhythms are regulated by the brain's “executive network," and certain brain chemicals that produce the states of sleeping and waking.

Early in a newborn's life, this internal clock begins to establish and control the daily rhythm of biological systems, including body temperature, blood pressure, and the release of hormones.

This is why is takes awhile for new babies to settle on any predictable eat-sleep-wake cycle. During the first few months of life though, the irregularity of these rhythms gives way to more stability as the brain continues to develop and mature.

Melatonin, the "feel sleepy" hormone, is produced naturally by the body in the evenings, helping us wind down and prepare for sleep. Melatonin levels in the body are almost non-existent during the day and to begin climb after dark and ebb after dawn. Additionally, the activity of our brain's posterior hypothalamus diminishes naturally during sleep when it releases less histamine, a molecule that it uses as a neurotransmitter, helping us stay asleep. (Antihistamines taken for allergy symptoms cause sleepiness in the same way.)

Nothing throws off a sleep cycle like jet-lag

Our circadian system is normally synchronized with the solar day, ensuring that alertness and performance peak during daytime hours and consolidated sleep occurs during the night. Jet-lag can be explained by exposure to light at the wrong time that results in a shift of sleep and wakefulness to undesired times.

Just like for us, being out of sync with circadian rhythms can make it more difficult for kids to fall asleep or stay asleep, resulting in an overtired and stressed kiddo. Ultimately, adjusting the schedule to be in sync with their's can lessen the disruption.

Experts recommend building in at least one "recovery day" when going on or returning from a vacation.

Whether it is one state over or across many time zones—we should stay awake as long as possible. So when it's nighttime in our new time zone, we need to keep the lights low inside, and when it's daytime in our new locale, we need to be exposed to bright light—ideally, natural outdoor light.

When it comes to retraining our children's internal clock, exposure to light at the appropriate time helps keep the circadian clock on the correct time schedule. Appropriately-timed exposure to bright light—Bright Light Therapy—can reset the timing of sleep and wake to the desired times, and improve sleep quality and daytime alertness.

However, recovery from a trip through many times zones is quite different than the three hours difference between San Francisco and New Jersey. “Apparently the brain may confuse dawn with dusk," says Naturopath Hillary Roland.

To counteract that effect, Roland says the current expert suggestion is to "actually stay indoors after long eastward flights for a few hours after dawn, and for a few hours before dusk after a long westward flight." This advice is supported by studies on jet-lag that have determined that the efficacy of bright light therapy is dependent on the time-of-day of the circadian cycle that the light is administered.

So, what's going on when we sleep?

Types and stages of sleep

We progress through a series of distinct physiological stages during sleep that serve an important purpose in keeping our brain and body healthy. During the night, Quiet/Non-REM (NREM) sleep alternates with periods of Dreaming/REM (rapid eye movement) sleep in which our most vivid dreams occur.

We cycle through five separate stages of sleep every 90-110 minutes, experiencing between three and five dream periods each night.

Quiet/Non-REM sleep

When we are sleeping, about 75-80% of the time is spent in the inactive Quiet/Non-REM (NREM) stages that provide the body's much-needed relaxation and rejuvenation and are also vital to proper development.

Stage 1: Drowsiness (1-7 minutes)

With heavy eyelids, we begin to drift off. Our body temperature begins to drop, muscles relax, and eyes often move slowly from side to side. We lose awareness of our surroundings but can wake easily since our brain is still quite active.

Stage 2: Light sleep (10-25 minutes)

Our brain activity slows further as we descend into a light sleep. Our eyes stop moving, and our heart rate and breathing are slower than when awake. Our brain disconnects from outside sensory input and begins the process of memory consolidation and organizing for long-term storage.

Stage 3: Moderate sleep (20-40 minutes)

Our breathing becomes more regular, blood pressure falls, and pulse slows to about 20-30% below our waking rate. Blood flow is directed less toward our brain, which cools measurably. We become less responsive to external stimuli and much more difficult to wake up.

Stage 4: Deep sleep (20-40 minutes)

Our brain quiets further as we transition into deep sleep. Our muscles relax and our breathing becomes slow and rhythmic. We become extremely hard to wake and may snore.

The time of peak growth hormone release in the body, during this deepest stage of sleep the pituitary gland releases a pulse of growth hormone that stimulates tissue growth and muscle repair. "Growth hormone is primarily secreted during deep sleep," says Judith Owens, M.D., director of sleep medicine at Children's National Medical Center, in Washington, D.C. Babies spend about 50% of their time in this deep sleep, considered to be essential for adequate growth.

In addition to being critical for cell reproduction and rejuvenation, deep sleep helps the body defends itself against infection. During deep sleep, researchers have detected increased blood levels of proteins known as cytokines. As part of the immune response, cytokines exert their influence over various white blood cells which the body relies on to fight infection, illness, and stress.

Cytokines also make us sleepy, forcing us to rest, which further aids the body's ability to heal and explains why having the flu or a cold feels so exhausting. Too little sleep appears to impact the number of cytokines on hand, illustrating why it is easier to catch and more difficult to fight viruses with too little sleep.

Dreaming/REM sleep

Just as deep sleep restores our body, scientists believe that active Dreaming/REM sleep restores our mind by transferring short-term memories into long-term storage and helps clear out irrelevant information and facilitates learning and memory.

Stage 5: Active sleep (10-60 minutes)

After deep sleep, our brain activity increases again. About 3-5 times a night, or about every 90 minutes, we enter active, or REM sleep. The first such episode usually lasts for only a few minutes, but REM time increases progressively over the course of the night. The final period of REM sleep may last a half-hour.

This is the period of the night when most dreams happen. Our muscles are temporarily paralyzed, and our eyes dart back and forth, giving this stage its name. Our body temperature rises, blood pressure increases, and our heart rate and breathing speed up to daytime levels. The sympathetic nervous system, which creates the fight-or-flight response, is twice as active as when we are awake.

Research indicates that decluttering—sorting, storing, and filing away information, memories, and experiences—may be one of the central functions our brain performs during REM sleep. This is also when we repackage neurotransmitters, the chemicals that enable our brain cells to communicate. Additionally, experts have demonstrated that REM sleep allows brain cells to flushing out disease-causing toxins.

When we sleep after a period of sleep deprivation, we pass quickly through the lighter sleep stages into the deeper stages and spend a greater proportion of sleep time there. This suggests that deep sleep plays a large part in restoring alertness and fills an essential role in a our optimal functioning.

So, how can we prioritize to optimize?

For the most part, we can indeed control how much sleep we get—if we want to. It all starts with creating the time necessary for sleep and an environment conducive to sleep. Making sleep a priority means that our families have the opportunity to sleep as much as they need to in a safe, quiet, comfortable environment.

By reducing pressures on our limited time we can prioritize and optimize our family's sleep. Even if we realize that our child could use more sleep, "…it can be very difficult to recognize all the ways that after-school and evening activities sabotage bedtime, and the damaging effects of allowing electronics into your kid's bedroom," says Parents advisor Jodi Mindell, Ph.D., associate director of the Sleep Center at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia.

“The bedroom should be a haven for rest and recovery, not a place to be distracted," echoes Wendy Troxel, a behavioral scientist at RAND, a think tank that helps improve public policy through research.

10 ways to build a better bedtime

1. For babies, encourage self-soothing

Try not to let babies fall asleep while eating, and put them to bed when they are still awake.

2. For kids, create a solid routine

Children should have an age-appropriate, clear and consistent bedtime ritual, with the same bedtime and wake up schedule all week long —no sleeping in.

3. Add another bedtime story

Listening to storybooks is a great way to ease kids towards sleep. "Of all activities, reading printed books appears to be most relaxing," says Michael Gradisar, a clinical psychologist at Flinders University, in Adelaide, Australia.

4. Keep electronics out of the bedroom

Avoid having a television, computer, tablet or cell phone in the bedroom in the hour before bed as electronics can stimulate young brains. Blue light from devices such as iPads also suppresses melatonin release.

5. Make sure the bedroom is cool and quiet

6. Keep the bed for sleeping only

Not confusing the bed with playtime teaches children to respects it as the place for rest, establishing a habit that can provide life lon benefits.

7. Keep allergens out of the bedroom

Keeping the bedrooms clean can go a long way to ensuring an allergen-free bedroom.

8. Encourage a nighttime snack before brushing teeth

A snack that's high in protein and low in sugar, like a glass of milk, can promote better sleep. However, eating sweets near bedtime causes a spike in blood sugar followed later by a drop, leading to a feeling of hunger that may wake kids in the middle of the night.

9. Establish talk time

Including 10 or 15 minutes of undivided attention when we are available to listen to our child talk about whatever they want can provide an opportunity for our kids to unload anything that might be preventing them from sleeping.

10. Teach kids to practice a form of mindfulness or prayer before bed

Meditation and prayer can quiet the mind, reduce stress and improve sleep.

Of course, every child varies in the amount of sleep they need. Some kids have high sleep needs and others don't. As parents, we are the best judge of whether or not our kids are getting enough sleep.

It's important to remember that our kids are human, too. And just like our behavior can disintegrate when we are overtired, so can theirs. We can't expect our kids to function when they are sleep deprived when don't expect the same from ourselves.

And just as it is our responsibility to feed, love and keep our kids safe, it is also our responsibility to recognize how important sleep is for all of us and ensure that all the elements are in place to enable everyone to enjoy the amazing benefits of sleep. Otherwise, we'll all be just. so. tired.

14 Toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.


Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.


Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.


Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.


Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.


Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.


Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.


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