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There’s a bright side to your kid’s first lie

And it’s not just that hide and seek is much more fun to play. 

There’s a bright side to your kid’s first lie

Nobody wants to be lied to—especially by their own child. But it turns out when our little ones fib, it’s (at least initially) cause for celebrating another huge developmental leap: Lying is a sign children realize their parents don’t actually know all.


Researched shared by NPR explains that, before the age of four, kids have pretty simple understandings of the world; as far as they know, everyone has the same beliefs and those beliefs reflect reality. This is why very young kids think grown-ups know what they’ve done, even if the adults were not around when they did it.

Because these young kids can’t really separate belief and reality, they don’t try to lie.

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Then the lies begin: Yes, I brushed my teeth, he says with chocolate still smudged on his gums. No, I didn’t stick my tongue out, she says when you clearly saw it in the rear-view mirror. And so on with the white lies only young children have the audacity to attempt.

Why do young kids begin to lie?

A recent study published in Developmental Science examined the reasons underlying preschoolers’ urges to fib. Over the course of 10 days, researchers pit kids and adults against each other with treats on the line.

The kids hid the treats and could win them back by providing deceptive information about the location of the goodies to the adults. At the beginning of the experiment the kids didn’t really have the skills to deceive, but by the end of the 10 days the little ones figured out how to lie. (Surely researchers sent apologies to the parents for returning the kids with sugar buzzes and new lying abilities.)

On the plus side, the game helped kids figure out the subjective nature of belief. Once that clicked for them, so did deceit. This research follows other studies that indicate kids who understand belief does not equal truth are more likely to lie than the kids who think belief is reality.

How to celebrate the development + tame the habit

Lying indicates a child’s brain is developing properly, but that doesn’t mean parents have to encourage or put up with it. There is a time and place for kids to flex their deceit muscles—such as games of hide-and-seek or go fish, which help kids understand the subjective nature of belief without, you know, lying. And when kids do start to play hide-and-seek without giving away their position, it’s time for some more involved conversations about lying.

Control your lies, too

Research out of McGill University indicates that kids’ propensities to lie is influenced by whether they think this behavior will cause harm to others or themselves. When parents get caught in lies, it sends mixed messages.

“Children get a lot of messages from their parents saying that lying is always bad, but at the same time they see their parents telling ’white’ lies to make life easier. Depending on their age, this is likely to be a bit confusing for children,” says Victoria Talwar, a Canada Research Chair in McGill’s Department of Educational and Counseling Psychology.

When your kid lies it’s time to talk about lying—and feel reassured this is simply a sign her mind is developing, not that she’s developing criminal habits. Not to mention, it makes for much more challenging games of hide and seek. ?

I felt lost as a new mother, but babywearing helped me find myself again

I wish someone had told me before how special wearing your baby can be, even when you have no idea how to do it.

My first baby and I were alone in our Brooklyn apartment during a particularly cold spring with yet another day of no plans. My husband was back at work after a mere three weeks of parental leave (what a joke!) and all my friends were busy with their childless lives—which kept them too busy to stop by or check in (making me, at times, feel jealous).

It was another day in which I would wait for baby to fall asleep for nap number one so I could shower and get ready to attempt to get out of the house together to do something, anything really, so I wouldn't feel the walls of the apartment close in on me by the time the second nap rolled around. I would pack all the diapers and toys and pacifiers and pump and bottles into a ginormous stroller that was already too heavy to push without a baby in it .

Then I would spend so much time figuring out where we could go with said stroller, because I wanted to avoid places with steps or narrow doors (I couldn't lift the stroller by myself and I was too embarrassed to ask strangers for help—also hi, New Yorkers, please help new moms when you see them huffing and puffing up the subway stairs, okay?). Then I would obsess about the weather, was it too cold to bring the baby out? And by the time I thought I had our adventure planned, the baby would wake up, I would still be in my PJs and it was time to pump yet again.

Slowly, but surely, and mostly thanks to sleep deprivation and isolation, I began to detest this whole new mom life. I've always been a social butterfly. I moved to New York because I craved that non-stop energy the city has and in the years before having my baby I amassed new friends I made through my daily adventures. I would never stop. I would walk everywhere just to take in the scenery and was always on the move.

Now I had this ball and chain attached to me, I thought, that didn't even allow me to make it out of the door to walk the dog. This sucks, I would think regularly, followed by maybe I'm not meant to be a mom after all.


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Time-saving formula tips our editors swear by

Less time making bottles, more time snuggling.

As a new parent, it can feel like feeding your baby is a full-time job—with a very demanding nightshift. Add in the additional steps it takes to prepare a bottle of formula and, well… we don't blame you if you're eager to save some time when you can. After all, that means more time for snuggling your baby or practicing your own well-deserved self-care.

Here's the upside: Many, many formula-feeding mamas before you have experienced the same thing, and they've developed some excellent tricks that can help you mix up a bottle in record time. Here are the best time-saving formula tips from editors here at Motherly.

1. Use room temperature water

The top suggestion that came up time and time again was to introduce bottles with room temperature water from the beginning. That way, you can make a bottle whenever you need it without worrying about warming up water—which is a total lifesaver when you have to make a bottle on the go or in the middle of the night.

2. Buy online to save shopping time

You'll need a lot of formula throughout the first year and beyond—so finding a brand like Comforts, which offers high-quality infant formula at lower prices, will help you save a substantial amount of money. Not to mention, you can order online or find the formula on shelves during your standard shopping trip—and that'll save you so much time and effort as well.

3. Pre-measure nighttime bottles

The middle of the night is the last time you'll want to spend precious minutes mixing up a bottle. Instead, our editors suggest measuring out the correct amount of powder formula into a bottle and putting the necessary portion of water on your bedside table. That way, all you have to do is roll over and combine the water and formula in the bottle before feeding your baby. Sounds so much better than hiking all the way to the kitchen and back at 3 am, right?

4. Divide serving sizes for outings

Before leaving the house with your baby, divvy up any portions of formula and water that you may need during your outing. Then, when your baby is hungry, just combine the pre-measured water and powder serving in the bottle. Our editors confirm this is much easier than trying to portion out the right amount of water or formula while riding in the car.

5. Memorize the mental math

Soon enough, you'll be able to prepare a bottle in your sleep. But, especially in the beginning or when increasing your baby's serving, the mental math can take a bit of time. If #mombrain makes it tough to commit the measurements to memory, write up a cheat sheet for yourself or anyone else who will prepare your baby's bottle.

6. Warm up chilled formula with water

If you're the savvy kind of mom who prepares and refrigerates bottles for the day in advance, you'll probably want to bring it up to room temperature before serving. Rather than purchase a bottle warmer, our editors say the old-fashioned method works incredibly well: Just plunge the sealed bottle in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes and—voila!—it's ready to serve.



Another great tip? Shop the Comforts line on Comfortsforbaby.com to find premium baby products for a fraction of competitors' prices. Or, follow @comfortsforbaby for more information!

This article was sponsored by The Kroger Co. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Report: President Trump plans to choose Amy Coney Barrett for Supreme Court

What you need to know about this mom of 7.

When Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg died on Friday her spot on the Supreme Court was vacated and on Monday President Trump said he is prepared to make his third U.S. Supreme Court nomination this week. "I will announce it either Friday or Saturday," Trump said on Fox News, adding, "We should wait until the services are over for Justice Ginsburg."

Now, CNN reports President Trump plans to choose Judge Amy Coney Barrett for the Supreme Court Nomination. He is expected to make the announcement on Saturday.

According to CNN, senior Republican sources are "indicating that Barrett is the intended nominee... All sources cautioned that until it is announced by the President, there is always the possibility that Trump makes a last-minute change but the expectation is Barrett is the choice."

President Trump says a vote on this Supreme Court nominee should come before the upcoming presidential election (a move that goes against Ginsberg's last wishes—and the precedent set by the senate in 2016). The President previously said he was looking seriously at five candidates for the spot, but during his Fox News interview on Monday, he only mentioned two: Amy Coney Barrett and Barbara Lagoa.

Here's what you need to know about Amy Coney Barrett

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