You’re doing a great job, mama—5 ways today’s parents are getting it right

We can dissect the negatives, or we can focus on the positive—and build upon those.

You’re doing a great job, mama—5 ways today’s parents are getting it right

Parenting has evolved in the past few decades, as it should. Gone are the days when young children were expected to perform manual labor before and after school, and the theory that “children should be seen not heard” is a thing of the past (for the most part).

We’ve learned a lot over time. We’ve learned that spanking causes long term damage, and that yelling isn’t much better. Changes in parenting style can be a very good thing for our children.

Parenting has never been an “easy” gig. Every generation has their own set of stressors, and the obstacles faced by parents today are different that those faced by their own parents. Food allergies are a significant source of stress for some, the pushing down of academics and decline in play change the structure of childhood and childhood stress is on the rise, to name a few.


We can dissect the negatives and find reasons to make parents feel inadequate and guilty or we can focus on the positive.

We can take a look at what modern parenting is getting right and build upon that.

The so-called “mommy wars” and parent shaming are old news. If we want to raise a generation of kind, capable and responsible children, we need to figure out what we’re doing right and do more of that.

Here are five things modern parents are getting right:

1. We care about feelings.

We know that all kids are different and that all kids experience shifts in emotions. We know that’s okay to feel sad, mad, anxious or overly excited and that expressing a wide range of emotions is good for the soul. We know that stuffing feelings leads to anger and resentment but that working through feelings leads to self confidence and empathy.

We are teaching our kids to identify and process their big feelings, and we are teaching them how to cope when the chips are down so that they don’t feel like they’ll break every time they bend. That’s huge. That, alone, is a big improvement in parenting.

Not sure how to teach feelings identification and coping skills? Grab a copy of The Happy Kid Handbook. Feeling frazzled by tantrums (a healthy expression of emotions, but completely exhausting for parents) with the under five crowd? There’s a Taming Tantrums app for that.

2. We’re willing to learn.

People often reference the shelves full of parenting books as a bad thing. While I do feel like the instant access to information can leave parents in a state of learned helplessness (dissecting every cry by way of Google isn’t necessary), I actually see parenting books as a positive development.

We all have our own parenting styles and no one book works for every family. The wonderful part of the parenting book section, however, is that it empowers parents to seek help when they need it. Books give us the opportunity to think about what’s working and what’s not. Books help us view our unique parenting situations through a different lens.

Modern parents are not afraid to learn new things. We seek advice from friends, siblings, neighbors, books and trusted parenting websites. We sift through the information provided and consider change. Black and white thinking isn’t good for our kids, but considering the shades of grey is.

3. We connect with our kids.

While fear of being tagged a “helicopter parent” is real, what I see in my practice and out in the world is a generation of parents connecting with their kids.

We play with them. We read with them. We take an interest in them. We shoot hoops with them. And we work hard to open the lines of communication so that they know they can come to us when life gets complicated.

A close parent-child relationship provides the foundation for healthy communication and emotional development as kids grow. Modern parents know this and they aren’t afraid to put in the time to make this a priority.

4. We’re not afraid to fail.

Parenting mistakes are part of being a parent. We don’t always get it right, but we do know that talking with our kids about that and apologizing when we make mistakes is important. We also have a sense of humor about it. We don’t sweep our mistakes under the carpet—we joke with our friends and wait for that coveted parent-of-the-year award to arrive at our doorsteps!

Parenting is hard. Connecting with other parents and laughing about the ups and downs helps us release our emotions about this gig, and that makes for better overall parenting.

5. We stand up for ourselves.

Alyssa Milano is one of many voices of reason in the world of breastfeeding advocacy (who knew we would one day need advocacy for feeding our children?). What the non-stop debate about public breastfeeding has taught us (other than the fact that pop stars can show their parts but moms should hide theirs at all costs) is that opinions about parenting are powerful and often polarizing.

While I do wish that moms will simply choose a “mom and let mom” philosophy (we don’t have to agree but we can respect one another), I’m glad to see that parents are finding their voices. When parents don’t speak up, they internalize their emotions. Those emotions will spill out at another time.

When parents remain calm and stand up for themselves (be it breastfeeding uncovered or pacifier use in the toddler crowd), they send an important message to their kids: We all have to take a stand sometimes. Never be afraid to be you.

There’s always room for improvement in life. That’s why we all make resolutions on January 1st. But the best way inspire positive growth is to start by focusing on what’s going well. Modern parents are making positive changes. Let’s celebrate that and go from there.

Originally published by Katie Hurley on The Huffington Post.

14 Toys that will keep your kids entertained inside *and* outside

They transition seamlessly for indoor play.

With Labor day weekend in the rearview and back-to-school in full swing, most parents are fresh out of boxes to check on their "Fun Concierge" hit list. It's also the point of diminishing returns on investing in summer-only toys. So with that in mind, we've rounded up some of our favorite toys that are not only built to last but will easily make the transition from outdoor to indoor play. Even better, they're Montessori-friendly and largely open-ended so your kids can get a ton of use out of them.

From sunny backyard afternoons to rainy mornings stuck inside, these toys are sure to keep little ones engaged and entertained.

Meadow ring toss game

Plan Toys meadow ring toss game

Besides offering a fantastic opportunity to hone focus, coordination, determination and taking turns, lawn games are just plain fun. Set them up close together for the littles and spread them out when Mom and Dad get in on the action. With their low profile and rope rings, they're great for indoors as well.


Balance board

Plan Toys balance board

Balance boards are a fabulous way to get the wiggles out. This one comes with a rope attachment, making it suitable for even the youngest wigglers. From practicing their balance and building core strength to working on skills that translate to skateboarding and snowboarding, it's a year-round physical activity that's easy to bring inside and use between Zoom classes, too!


Detective set

Plan Toys detective setDetective Set

This set has everything your little detective needs to solve whatever mystery they might encounter: an eye glasses, walkie-talkie, camera, a red lens, a periscope and a bag. Neighborhood watch? Watch out.


Wooden doll stroller

Janod wooden doll strollerWooden Doll Stroller

Take their charges on a stroll around the block with this classic doll stroller. With the same versatility they're used to in their own ride, this heirloom quality carriage allows their doll or stuffy to face them or face the world.


Sand play set

Plan Toys sand set

Whether you're hitting the beach or the backyard sandbox, this adorable wooden sand set is ready for action. Each scoop has an embossed pattern that's perfect for sand stamping. They're also totally suitable for water play in the wild or the bathtub.


Water play set

Plan Toys water play set

Filled with sand or water, this tabletop sized activity set keeps little ones busy, quiet and happy. (A mama's ideal trifecta 😉). It's big enough to satisfy their play needs but not so big it's going to flood your floors if you bring the fun inside on a rainy day.


Mini golf set

Plan Toys mini golf set

Fore! This mini golf set is lawn and living room ready. Set up a backyard competition or incorporate into homeschooling brain breaks that shift focus and build concentration.


Vintage scooter balance bike

Janod retro scooter balance bike

Pedals are so 2010. Balance bikes are the way to go for learning to ride a bike while skipping the training wheels stage altogether. This impossibly cool retro scooter-style is built to cruise the neighborhood or open indoor space as they're learning.


Wooden rocking pegasus

plan toys wooden rocking pegasus

Your little will be ready to take flight on this fun pegasus. It gently rocks back and forth, but doesn't skimp on safety—its winged saddle, footrests and backrest ensure kids won't fall off whether they're rocking inside or outside.


Croquet set

Plan Toys croquet set

The cutest croquet set we've ever seen! With adorable animal face wooden balls and a canvas bag for easy clean up, it's also crafted to stick around awhile. Round after round, it's great for teaching kiddos math and problem-solving skills as well.


Wooden digital camera

fathers factory wooden digital camera

Kids get the chance to assemble the camera on their own then can adventure anywhere to capture the best moments. With two detachable magnetic lenses, four built-in filters and video recorder, your little photographer can tap into their creativity from summertime to the holidays.


Wooden bulldozer toy

plan toys wooden bulldozer toy

Whether they're digging up sand in the backyad or picking up toys inside, kids can get as creative as they want picking up and moving things around. Even better? Its wooden structure means it's not an eye sore to look at wherever your digger drops it.


Pull-along hippo

janod toys pull along hippo toy

There's just something so fun about a classic pull-along toy and we love that they seamlessly transition between indoor and outdoor play. Crafted from solid cherry and beechwood, it's tough enough to endure outdoor spaces your toddler takes it on.


Baby forest fox ride-on

janod toys baby fox ride on

Toddlers will love zooming around on this fox ride-on, and it's a great transition toy into traditional balance bikes. If you take it for a driveway adventure, simply use a damp cloth to wipe down the wheels before bringing back inside.


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Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Meri Meri: Decor and gifts that bring the wonder of childhood to life

We could not be more excited to bring the magic of Meri Meri to the Motherly Shop. For over 30 years, their playful line of party products, decorations, children's toys and stationery have brought magic to celebrations and spaces all over the world. Staring as a kitchen table endeavor with some scissors, pens and glitter in Los Angeles in 1985, Meri Meri (founder Meredithe Stuart-Smith's childhood nickname) has evolved from a little network of mamas working from home to a team of 200 dreaming up beautiful, well-crafted products that make any day feel special.

We've stocked The Motherly Shop with everything from Halloween must-haves to instant-heirloom gifts kiddos will adore. Whether you're throwing a party or just trying to make the everyday feel a little more special, we've got you covered.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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Chrissy Teigen/Instagram

When Chrissy Teigen announced her third pregnancy earlier this year we were so happy for her and now our hearts are with her as she is going through a pain that is unimaginable for many, but one that so many other mothers know.

Halfway through a high-risk pregnancy complicated by placenta issues, Teigen announced late Wednesday that she has suffered a pregnancy loss.

Our deepest condolences go out to Chrissy and her husband, John Legend (who has been by her side in the hospital for several days now).

In a social media post, Teigen explained she named this baby Jack.


"We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough," she wrote.

She continued: "We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us. Jack worked so hard to be a part of our little family, and he will be, forever."

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