Are moms drinking too much?
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Alcohol has become a socially acceptable form of self-care—but it's not without risks.
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Imagine this: Your day begins at 5 a.m. when your toddler wakes up with a fever. You barely slept because your baby was up all night with teething pain. Your sick kiddo can’t go to preschool, but you can’t call out from work because you’re swamped. Both children cling to you all day, while you try not to drown in emails, meetings and your miles-long to-do list. Your partner returns from work and forgot to go to the grocery store to get a quick dinner. You’re on the brink of scream-crying. What do you do next?
A) Excuse yourself briefly and practice breathing exercises
B) Tell your partner you need to go on a solo walk to clear your head
C) Order takeout again and draw yourself a bubble bath as soon as the kids go to bed
D) Immediately pour yourself a fishbowl glass of wine
If you answered D, you’re not alone. Stress drinking is a quick, easy way to cope with the chaos of parenting, and let’s be real: moms and wine culture go hand-in-hand. Many moms don’t have the time for workout routines, meditation or even treating themselves to a bath or other acts of self-care, and alcohol releases dopamine. It’s also easily accessible, so often it becomes “mommy’s little helper.”
Stress drinking is real
But are moms drinking too much? The Atlantic recently published an article about the gender divide when it comes to stress drinking, and according to 2019 studies reviewed for the piece, “women are generally more likely to drink [than men] to regulate negative affect and stress reactivity.” Hartford Healthcare published a study in 2020 that found women increased binge drinking (four or more drinks in a day) by 41% during the first year of the pandemic, as opposed to 7% among men. That same study also found that alcohol consumption increased by 14% in people over 30 years old, which happens to be an age demographic that tends to have children in the home (according to the CDC, between 2015 and 2019 nearly half of women with children gave birth to their first child in their 20s, and 18.2% at age 30 or older).
According to those statistics, all signs point to yes; however, Motherly’s 2023 State of Motherhood survey paints a different picture. Of nearly 10,000 participants, only 9% of respondents said that they increased their drinking habit in the past year, while 28% actually decreased their alcohol consumption. (Twenty-three percent said the question didn’t apply because they don’t drink.)
Aside from being a quick fix for stress relief, alcohol has become a socially acceptable form of self-care. Being a “wine mom” is thought of as funny, or cute, or just downright relatable, thanks to social media meme-ifing moms and wine culture, but it’s a slippery slope.
Weighing the risks
A 2023 study shows that alcohol-related deaths are rising faster in women than men. While males are still more likely to die from alcohol-related complications, the gap has narrowed. Between 2018 and 2020, annual alcohol-related deaths increased by 12.5% for men and 14.7% for women. Research has also linked alcohol to several types of cancer, including an increased risk of breast cancer because it heightens the levels of estrogen and other hormones related to the disease, and also damages DNA in cells.
The urge to decrease drinking, or stop all together, can be overwhelming in its own right. For some, this decision means acknowledging they have a problem. For others, it might change the way they socialize. Sober culture is becoming increasingly popular, which means the nonalcoholic drink industry is booming with delicious alternatives. But how about replicating that dopamine hit alcohol notoriously produces? While it might not be immediate relief, there are lots of long-term benefits from not drinking, like improved sleep and decreased general anxiety, which can help with overall mental health.
The bottom line: Cutting back or going sober is a personal choice. Do what works best for you, mama. As long as you’re being mindful of your mental and physical health, and that of your kids, finding a coping method that helps you deal with stress is important—because until we get actual, concrete ways to lighten our mental load, let’s face it: Stress in motherhood isn’t going anywhere.
Sober curious? Our 5 favorite non-alcoholic drinks you need to try!
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