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Prior to becoming a mom—and for most of my young adult life—I was plagued by worries and insecurities. While on the outside I worked hard (so hard) to project an image of someone who had it all together, in my lowest points, I was crippled by so much self-doubt that I wondered if I would ever get out from under it.

I hated feeling that way—and hated how self-centered it made me feel—and, one day, I decided to try to change my thinking. And while I did a lot of the heavy lifting on my own, something kind of magical happened when I became a mom: Suddenly, all those doubts, insecurities, and worries I had held onto for years...stopped mattering to me.

It wasn't that they completely disappeared—I can still look in the mirror and rattle off a handful of things I would change or provide you a laundry list of things I want to work on in my life and relationships—it was just that everything instantly popped into perspective and became just as important or unimportant as it should be.

Here are 10 things I don't worry about or put up with now that I'm a mom:

1. Having a million friends

Don't get me wrong—I firmly believe in the importance of "the village" and can't imagine getting through my day without the support of my closest circle. But that pressure to be good with everyone and have a million social media "friends"? Not even on my radar anymore. Parenthood has this way of focusing and refining your inner circle naturally, and when you pause to actually reflect on it a year or two after having a baby? You realize that the ones that really matter are still there—and you don't really miss the ones that didn't stick around.

2. Bras that aren't comfortable

8-In-1 Evolution Bra, Knix

Would you believe that for most of my life I've never had a bra I truly loved? Instead, I've made do with styles that were just a little too tight (or loose) or gapped (or pinched). And then I thought, Why am I doing this? So I stopped accepting the discomfort. (Because if I want to be poked and prodded uncomfortably, I have a toddler who does that on the regular.) Now I only accept bras that get it. (This is the most comfortable bra I've ever tried.)

Bras that get that, while I'm small-chested, I have a wide rib cage, and that needs to be accommodated. Bras that get that underwires suck, and that straps should always adjust to adapt to whatever shirt I feel like wearing (or is, at the very least, clean that day). Uncomfortable bras? No mama has time for that.

3. Those last 3-5 pounds

Like most women, I haven't always felt immune to societal pressure to conform to a certain body type. And I would say that from age 16 on, I was probably perpetually on some kind of diet or exercise regime designed to lose weight. Even after I left some of my more crippling insecurities of youth behind, I still found myself plagued by those "last 3 to 5 pounds" that I was sure my life would be so much better without. But when I became a mom, something shifted (and it wasn't just the number on the scale).

Motherhood came with an entirely different appreciation of my body, along with the responsibility to project a model of a confident, healthy woman to my daughter. I stopped worrying about what the scale said (or the if the backs of my thighs were smooth or if my stretch marks were fading fast enough) and focused on how I felt instead. And, you know what? It turns out my life can be pretty amazing, no matter what I weigh.

4. Accepting products or services that don't actually serve me

Evolution Tank, Knix

One of the quickest ways to get under a mom's skin? Waste her time. Every day, I'm pulled in a million directions as I try to keep on top of #allthethings, from keeping my kids alive and happy to getting all my work done to maintaining the relationships in my life (and, you know, keeping us from living in squalor at home).

When a product or service doesn't deliver on a promise, it's enough to incur some scorched earth mama wrath. But on the flipside, it has also made me fiercely loyal to the products that get it. Whether it's a hair care product that never fails me or the perfect tank top that leaves me feeling supported and confident, when I find a winner, I stick with it.

​5. Having all the answers

Prior to having a child, I felt an immense pressure to never look stupid. As a result, I sometimes pretended to understand things I didn't, or didn't ask questions when I could have used more information. But as a mom, that's not only a dangerous strategy for yourself—it could also affect your child. So many women have walked this path before me, and I realized quickly that I could either learn everything the hard way—or benefit from their wisdom.

I also want to make sure my children understand that curiosity and a desire to learn are so much more important than faking looking smarter than you are. Now, I ask so many questions. I admit when I don't know what someone's talking about. I keep a humble mindset about my own smarts. And I feel more informed than ever.

6. Stressing about my period

Leakproof Underwear, Knix

Since I was 13, my period has given me a mild amount of anxiety. I always worried it would arrive without warning, that I would leak through my tampon, or that somehow it would humiliate me in some other unexpected way. And then I had a baby, and, possibly for the first time, I truly understood the importance of my (at times unwanted) monthly visitor.

While I wouldn't say I love getting that visit from Aunt Flo, I appreciate my period like never before—and, thanks to my Knix Leakproof Underwear, it doesn't get to dictate what I wear or don't wear anymore. Now, instead of stressing, my period is just part of what makes my body amazing (and I rock white pants whenever I feel like it).

7. If my house looks perfect

Pinterest can do a real number on your head. And while I'll never stop searching for new recipes or outfit ideas, one thing I've stopped worrying about is whether or not I have a perfect, HGTV-approved living room. While part of me would love a cream-colored couch, delicate throw pillows, and a spotless living room rug, the fact is that my kid is just going to slam toys into whatever furniture I have and probably spill whatever is left in her sippy cup on the rest of it. In this season of life, I've realized there are so many more important things that boasting a "pinnable" living space—I'd much rather have a house full of life anyway.

8. Comparing myself to others

The more moms I befriend and get to really know, the more I realize that we're all just winging it. Whereas, a few years ago, all it would take to send me into a self-deprecating spiral would be an Instagram post of a woman who seemed to have it all together, now I realize that, odds are, this is really just a snippet of her life.

While she might be one of those mystical unicorn moms who truly never gets split ends or only serves her children homemade, organic, Whole30 meals every day, it's a lot more likely that she's just like me—her hair is that full because she hasn't washed it in days and there's a pile of (week-old) unfolded laundry just out of the frame. Instead of worrying if I'm keeping up, mama me knows how to keep the superficial stuff in its place. We're all working hard to be our best, whatever that means to each of us.

9. Feeling self-conscious

There have been so many things in life I've passed up or chickened out of because I was worried I would be embarrassed. Singing in front of groups, meeting new people, going on that adventure—I would let the fear of failure or looking foolish talk me out of what could have been an amazing, fun, or life-changing opportunity. But the thought of my child letting life pass her by—or not letting her full, incredible personality shine—due to fear? It guts me.

So I'm learning to put my own nervousness away as much as I can. I dance in public whenever my daughter asks, in wild, flailing moves that draw stares. I sing at the top of my lungs in the middle of gymnastics class because our jam just came on and my kid needs a duet partner. I throw on the swimsuit (without worrying about any curves on my body) because it's 80 degrees and we need to hit the pool now! And the more I pretend to be brave, the more I start to truly feel myself leaving all that old self-consciousness in the dust.

10. What society says I "should" do

8-In-1 Evolution Bra, Knix

Seemingly from the moment those two lines appear on the pregnancy test, the world seems to be bursting with "well-meaning advice." You know the kind: suggestions on what to eat (or not eat), tips for avoiding stretch marks, grandmotherly scolding about whether or not your baby is dressed warm enough or if she should be touching that.

On top of that, women battle a lifetime of people telling us what we can do, shouldn't do, will never do. We should be perfect mothers, with bodies that "bounce back" from pregnancy. We should listen to what everyone says instead of trusting our own judgment. We should put what we want on hold for what we should be doing.

You know what I say? Forget that noise. Becoming a mother has taught me how strong and capable I am—and how much I innately know because I know what my family and I need better than any outsider. And that is exactly what I plan to do from now on.


This article is sponsored by Knix. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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Pop quiz, mama! How many different types of car seats are there? If you guessed three, you're partially correct. The three main types are rear-facing car seats, forward-facing car seats, and booster seats. But then there are a variety of styles as well: infant car seats, convertible seats, all-in-one seats, high-back booster seats, and backless boosters. If you're not totally overwhelmed yet, keep reading, we promise there's good stuff ahead.

There's no arguing that, in the scheme of your baby and child gear buying lifetime, purchasing a car seat is a big deal! Luckily, Walmart.com has everything you need to travel safely with your most precious cargo in the backseat. And right now, you can save big on top-rated car seats and boosters during Best of Baby Month, happening now through September 30 at Walmart.com.

As if that wasn't enough, Walmart will even take the carseat your kiddos have outgrown off your hands for you (and hook you up with a sweet perk, too). Between September 16 and 21, Walmart is partnering with TerraCycle to recycle used car seats. When you bring in an expired car seat or one your child no longer fits into to a participating Walmart store during the trade-in event, you'll receive a $30 gift card to spend on your little one in person or online. Put the money towards a brand new car seat or booster or other baby essentials on your list. To find a participating store check here: www.walmart.com/aboutbestofbabymonth

Ready to shop, mama? Here are the 9 best car seat deals happening this month.


Safety 1st Grow and Go Spring 3-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

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From rear-facing car seat to belt-positioning booster, Grow and Go Sprint's got you covered through childhood. Whether you choose the grey Silver Lake, Seafarer or pink Camelia color palette, you'll love how this model grows with your little one — not to mention how easy it is to clean. The machine-washable seat pad can be removed without fussing with the harness, and the dual cup holders for snacks and drinks can go straight into the dishwasher.

Price: $134 (regularly $149)

SHOP

Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Bermuda

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When your toddler is ready to face forward, this versatile car seat can be used as a five-point harness booster, a high-back booster, and a backless booster. Padded armrests, harness straps, and seat cushions provide a comfy ride, and the neutral gray seat pads reverse to turquoise for a stylish new look.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

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Baby Trend Hybrid Plus 3-in-1 Booster Car Seat in Olivia

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Looking for something snazzy, mama? This black and hot pink car seat features a playful heart print on its reversible seat pad and soft harness straps. Best of all, with its 100-pound weight limit and three booster configurations, your big kid will get years of use out of this fashionable design.

Price: $72.00 (regularly $81)

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Evenflo Triumph LX Convertible Car Seat

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This rear- and forward-facing car seat keeps kids safer, longer with an adjustable five-point harness that can accommodate children up to 65 lbs. To tighten the harness, simply twist the conveniently placed side knobs; the Infinite Slide Harness ensures an accurate fit every time. As for style, we're big fans of the cozy quilted design, which comes in two colorways: grey and magenta or grey and turquoise.

Price: $116 (regularly $149.99)

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Disney Baby Light 'n Comfy 22 Luxe Infant Car Seat

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Outfitted with an adorable pink-and-white polka dot Minnie Mouse infant insert, even the tiniest of travelers — as small as four pounds! — can journey comfortably and safely. This rear-facing design is lightweight, too; weighing less than 15 lbs, you can easily carry it in the crook of your arm when your hands are full (because chances are they will be).

Price: $67.49 (regularly $89.99)

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Graco 4Ever 4-in-1 Convertible Car Seat

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We know it's hard to imagine your tiny newborn will ever hit 100 lbs, but one day it'll happen. And when it does, you'll appreciate not having to buy a new car seat if you start with this 4-in-1 design! Designed to fit kids up to 120 lbs, it transforms four ways, from a rear-facing car seat to a backless belt-positioning booster. With a 6-position recline and a one-hand adjust system for the harness and headrest, you can easily find the perfect fit for your growing child.

Price: $199.99 (regularly $269.99)

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Graco SlimFit All-in-One Convertible Car Seat

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With its unique space-saving design, this 3-in-1 car seat provides 10% more back seat space simply by rotating the dual cup holders. The InRight LATCH system makes installation quick and easy, and whether you're using it as a rear-facing car seat, a forward-facing car seat, or a belt-positioning booster, you can feel confident that your child's safe and comfortable thanks to Graco's Simply Safe Adjust Harness System.

Price: $149.99 (regularly $229.99)

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Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Platinum XT Infant Car Seat

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Making sure your infant car seat is secure can be tricky, but Graco makes it easy with its one-second LATCH attachment and hassle-free three-step installation using SnugLock technology. In addition to its safety features, what we really love about this rear-facing seat are all of the conveniences, including the ability to create a complete travel system with Click Connect Strollers and a Silent Shade Canopy that expands without waking up your sleeping passenger.

Price: $169.99 (regularly $249.99)

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Graco Snugride Snuglock 35 Elite Infant Car Seat

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With just one click, you can know whether this rear-facing car seat has been installed properly. Then adjust the base four different ways and use the bubble level indicator to find the proper position. When you're out and about, the rotating canopy with window panel will keep baby protected from the sun while allowing you to keep your eye on him.

Price: $129.99 (regularly $219.99)

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This article was sponsored by Walmart. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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If I ever want to look alive before dropping my son off to school, there are two things I must put on before leaving the house: eyeliner and mascara. When using eyeliner, I typically use black liner on my top lid, a slightly lighter brown for my bottom lid, and then a nude liner for my water line. It works every time.

My mascara routine is a bit different. Because my natural lashes are thin and not the longest, I always opt for the darkest black I can find, and one that's lengthening and volumizing. For this reason, I was immediately drawn to It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara. The new mascara is developed in partnership with Drybar (the blow dry bar that specializes in just blowouts) and promises to deliver bold and voluminous lashes all day long. I was sold.

Could this really be the blowout my lashes have been waiting for? It turns out, it was much better than most volumizing formulas I've tried.

For starters, the wand is a great size—it's not too big or small, and it's easy to grip—just like my favorite Drybar round brush. As for the formula, it's super light and infused with biotin which helps lashes look stronger and healthier. I also love that it's buildable, and I didn't notice any clumps or flakes between coats.

The real test is that my lashes still looked great at dinnertime. I didn't have smudges or the dreaded raccoon eyes I always get after a long day at work. Surprisingly, the mascara actually stayed in place. To be fair, I haven't compared them with lash-extensions (which are my new go-to since having baby number two), but I'm sure it will hold up nicely.

Overall, I was very impressed with the level of length and fullness this mascara delivered. Indeed, this is the eyelash blowout my lashes have been waiting for. While it won't give you a few extra hours in bed, you'll at least look a little more awake, mama.

It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara

It Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara
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Here's how I apply IT Cosmetics Lash Blowout Mascara:

  1. Starting as close to lash line as possible (and looking down), align the brush against your top lashes. Gradually turn upwards, then wiggle the wand back and forth up and down your eyelashes.
  2. Repeat, if needed. Tip: Be sure to allow the mascara to dry between each coat.
  3. Using the same technique, apply mascara to your bottom lashes, brushing the wand down your eyelashes.
Motherly is your daily #momlife manual; we are here to help you easily find the best, most beautiful products for your life that actually work. We share what we love—and we may receive a commission if you choose to buy. You've got this.

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Life

Having children isn't always as easy as it looks on Instagram. There's so much more to motherhood than serene baby snuggles and matching outfits. But there's a reason we've fallen so deeply in love with motherhood: It's the most beautiful, chaotic ride.

Every single day, we sit back and wonder how something so hard can feel so rewarding. And Eva Mendes just managed to nail the reality of that with one quote.

Eva, who is a mama to daughters Esmerelda and Amada with Ryan Gosling, got real about the messy magic of motherhood in a recent interview.

"It's so fun and beautiful and maddening," the actress tells Access Daily. "It's so hard, of course. But it's like that feeling of…you end your day, you put them to bed and Ryan and I kind of look at each other like, 'We did it, we did it. We came out relatively unscathed.'"

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And just like that, moms all over the world feel seen. We've all been there: Struggling to get through the day (which, for the record is often every bit as fun as it is challenging), only to put those babies to sleep and collapse on the couch in sheer exhaustion. But, after you've caught your breath, you realize just how strong and capable you really are.

One thing Eva learned the hard way? That sleep regressions are very, very real...and they don't just come to an end after your baby's first few months. "I guess they go through a sleep regression, which nobody told me about until I looked it up," she says "I was like, 'Why isn't my 3-year-old sleeping?'"

But, at the end of the day, Eva loves her life as a mom—and the fact that she took a break from her Hollywood career to devote her days to raising her girls. "I'm so thankful I have the opportunity to be home with them," she says.

Thank you for keeping it real, Eva! Momming isn't easy, but it sure is worth it.

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My labor and delivery was short and sweet. I started feeling contractions on Monday morning and by Tuesday night at 8:56 pm my handsome baby boy was born. Only 30 minutes of pushing. Afterward, I was still out of it, to be honest. I held him and did some skin to skin and handed him off to my husband, my mother held him next.

When he was in my mother's arms, I knew he was safe. I started to drift off, the epidural had me feeling drowsy and I had used up all my strength to push this 7 lb baby out. My son's eyes were open and then I guess he went to sleep too. My mother swayed him back and forth. The nurses were in and out, cleaning me up and checking in on us.

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When yet another nurse came in, my mom said to her, "He wasn't latching because he wanted to sleep."

The nurse yelled, "He's not sleeping!"

The next 25 minutes happened in slow motion for me.

After the nurse said these words, she flung my son onto the little baby bed. I looked over and he looked a little blue. Then I heard the loud words of CODE PINK. In matters of seconds about 30 nursing staff descended into my room and crowded around my baby.

I couldn't even see what was happening. I tried to get out the bed but they wouldn't let me and after a couple of failed attempts one of the nurses look at me and said, "He's fine, he's breathing now."

Breathing now? He wasn't breathing before? Again, I tried to push my way to my baby, but once again I was told to not move. They had just performed CPR on my 30-minute old newborn and I couldn't understand what was happening even after a pediatrician tried to explain it to me.

I just started crying. He was fine in my stomach for 39 weeks and 6 days and now I bring him into this world and his heart nearly stops?

I was told he needed to go to the neonatal intensive care unit. I was confused, as I thought the NICU was only for preemies and my son was full term.

After what felt like an eternity we were finally allowed to see our son. My husband wheeled me there and we saw him in the corner alone. I saw the incubator and the wires, he's all bundled up.

The nurse explained all the beeping and showed me the heart rate monitor. He's doing fine. We go over the feeding schedule. I'm exhausted still. I stay with him until about 1 or 2 am. They all suggest I get some sleep. There's no bed in the NICU, so I head back to my room.

The next day was better, he doesn't have to be in the incubator anymore, but the wires remain. By that night or early the next morning, the wires in his nose come out and I try feeding him. I try pumping. It was painful.

He gets his first bath and he loves it. The nurse shampoos his hair (he had a lot!) and he seems so soothed. The nurse explains that because he's full term he doesn't need the same type of support in the NICU. She tells me my baby's strong and he'll be fine.

I look around. I see the other babies, the other moms. They could be there for weeks. And unlike me, the moms have to go home—without their baby.

Friday comes and by now he's done all his tests, blood work came back normal, all tubes have been removed and I get it. I get my going-home package. Finally. I get my instructions on doctor follow-ups and we finally get to go home.

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Life

There have been a lot of iconic entertainment magazine covers featuring pregnant women over the years. Who can forget Demi Moore's bare baby bump on Vanity Fair or Britney Spears' similar nude pose on Harper's Bazaar?

Pregnant women on a magazine covers is nothing new, but a visibly pregnant CEO on the cover of a business magazine, that's a first and it happened this week.

Inc. just put The Wing's CEO Audrey Gelman on the cover and this is a historic moment in publishing and business.

As Gelman told Today this week, "You can't be what you can't see, so I think it's so important for women to see that it's possible to run a fast-growing business and also to start a family."

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She continued: "It's so important to sort of burst that bubble and to have new images of women who are thriving and working professionally while balancing motherhood … My hope is that women see this and again feel the confidence to take greater professional risks while also not shelving their dreams of becoming a mother and starting a family."

The Wing started in 2016 as a co-working space for women and has grown rapidly. As Inc. reports, The Wing has eight locations in the U.S. with plans for more American and international locations by 2020.

Putting Gelman on the cover was an important move by Inc. and Gelman's honesty about her early pregnancy panic ("I can't be pregnant. I have so much to do." she recalls thinking after her pregnancy test) should be applauded.

Gelman says pregnancy made her slow down physically, and that it was actually good for her company: "I had this realization: The way to make my team and my employees feel proud to work for me and for the company was actually not to pretend to be superhuman or totally unaffected by pregnancy."

We need this. We need CEOs to admit that they are human so that corporate leadership can see employees as humans, too. Humans need things like family leave and flexibility, especially when they start raising little humans.

There are a lot of iconic covers featuring pregnant women, but this one is different. She's wearing clothes and she's changing work culture.

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