17 fascinating ways mamas parent differently around the world 🌎

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Spoiler alert: There is no right way to parent your kids—and that's even more evident when you see all the different traditions and customs from parents around the world. At the end of the day, mama will always know what's best for her family.

We asked #TeamMotherly to share their parenting customs from where they live and found that there is always more than one way to do things.

From sleeping routines and feeding to maternity leave and hospital costs, every country has its own way of welcoming babies into the world. Here's what they had to say.

"In Sweden, we get 480 days parental leave split between the parents. You can travel on the bus for free with a stroller, kids are outside no matter the weather, fathers are just as involved as mothers in the upbringing, public breastfeeding is normal even in non-child focused restaurants, co-sleeping is considered as normal, putting your kid to daycare does not cost a fortune, parents have the right to work max 75% of their normal work-time until child turns 8-years-old, kids start eating fish from a very early age (6 months onwards)."—Judit T. Kalo, Sweden

"In India, babies and toddlers co-sleep with parents, unlike many other countries, where kids are given separate rooms to sleep from the very beginning. Indians believe co-sleeping induces attachment, greater affection and patience and is needed for the initial bonding between parents n the new born."—Lili Rizvi, India

"In Finland, our parental leave is nine months, after that you can get child home care allowance if a child under 3-years-old is looked after at home. I'm a stay-at-home mom with two kids and I'm so thankful for being able to spend their first years with them, seeing every little thing they learn."—Sinna Katila, Finland

"In Pakistan the new mom goes to her parents home with the new baby spending the first 40 days. As she's new to motherhood, her mother and family members help the new mom with the baby. Also a lot of protein intake is encouraged and food rich in protein is cooked for the mother's fast healing."—Sarah Zohair Shahid, Pakistan

"In Canada, maternity leave is 12 months, which can be split between both parents if wanted. I feel like that time made such a difference for me to establish great sleeping patterns with my child and really bond well. A tax benefit is also paid monthly which some put in savings for a future college fund for the child, it varies and is calculated based on income."—Melissa Leu Hughes, Canada

"Many people in Denmark don't mind leaving the stroller with their sleeping child in it outside a shop or cafe/restaurant or when napping at home in the yard or court yard of their apartment building as long as they can see it and have a monitor in it."—Sarah Broe, Denmark

"Russian babies nap outside, even in winter (properly bundled of course). Extra dose of fresh frosty air. Water (as a drink) is introduced at the age of 3-months-old as opposed to 6-months-old in the USA."—Sasha Durkee, Russia

"In the Netherlands, lots of moms and dads transport their children in special cargo bikes ('bakfietsen'). Nowadays they're even equipped with car seat adaptors so even very young babies can enjoy the bike rides. We have special bike lanes throughout the entire country, and cycling is a very common means of transport here. 🙂I'm sure that to foreigners we look like a bunch of lunatics, but it's a cultural thing."—Anne Jongedijk, Netherlands

"In Uzbekistan, newborn babies aren't allowed to be taken outdoors for 40 days after they are born. People try not to visit them in these 40 days and even if they do, they should come to visit during the day before it is dark outside."—Shohista Yodgorova, Uzbekistan

"In Vietnam, new babies are advised not to be taken outside until 3-months-old. New moms are advised to avoid sunlight and wind, even taking showers. When the baby is one month old, there will be an important anniversary where the parents make prayer to their ancestors, the 13 fairies taking care of the baby with the hope that the baby will be blessed and healthy."—Xuan Ngueyn, Vietnam

"In Mexico, newly born girls' ears are pierced by the doctor receiving the baby the moment they are born. Only at the parents request, of course."—Elda Erika, Mexico

"I'm from Argentina and the differences between sleep routines comparing to the USA are amazing! In Argentina, kids are around you until about 10 p.m. and nap time is voluntary. It was the biggest difference I noticed between both countries once I had kids."—Amalita GB, Argentina

"In Kerala, India we give our kids a speckle of a freshly ground paste of copper, gold, shell, sandalwood, nutmeg and few other herbs for the first three years. It is supposed to build immunity, concentration and digestive ability."—Aparna Vinod, India

"In Uganda, grandparents will help you bathe the baby for the first few months as they welcome you into motherhood."—Anne Gift, Uganda

"In Malaysia, most Chinese mamas will have a confinement lady to help out in the postnatal period immediately after birth (usually for a month or two). There are some old-fashioned rules, like no washing hair for a month and no cold food and drinks are allowed for the mommies."—Christina Chin, Malaysia

"In the UK, brining my child into the world cost me not one penny, thanks to the NHS. I was lucky enough to have no complications and had a room to myself and my husband and two staff on hand when I needed them (early labour they were with someone else who needed them more!). I am incredibly lucky and grateful for the experience I had."—Michelle Zin, United Kindgom

"In Japan, a baby name is to be decided within two weeks from birth, and once it is decided we place a piece of paper with the babies name written usually under a little shinto shrine at home."—Maiko Takahata Suzuki, Japan

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A PAW Patrol movie is coming, mama!

There are few kids television shows as successful as PAW Patrol. The Spin Masters series has spawned countless toys and clothing deals, a live show and now, a movie.

That's right mama, PAW Patrol is coming to the big screen in 2021.

The big-screen version of PAW Patrol will be made with Nickelodeon Movies and will be distributed by Paramount Pictures.

"We are thrilled to partner with Paramount and Nickelodeon to bring the PAW Patrol franchise, and the characters that children love, to the big screen," Spin Master Entertainment's Executive Vice President, Jennifer Dodge, announced Friday.

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"This first foray into the arena of feature film marks a significant strategic expansion for Spin Master Entertainment and our properties. This demonstrates our commitment to harnessing our own internal entertainment production teams to develop and deliver IP in a motion picture format and allows us to connect our characters to fans through shared theatrical experiences," Dodge says.

No word on the plot yet, but we're gonna bet there's a problem, 'round Aventure Bay, and Ryder and his team of pups will come and save the day.

We cannot even imagine how excited little PAW Patrol fans will be when this hits theatres in 2021. It's still too early to buy advance tickets but we would if we could!

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What happens to a mom's brain when their baby smiles for the first time

In the middle of that postpartum daze, the sleepless nights, the recovery, the adjustment to a new schedule and learning the cues of a new baby, there are those moments when a new mom might think, I don't know how long I can do this.

Fortunately, right around that time, newborns smile their first real smile.

For many mothers, the experience is heart-melting and soul-lifting. It's a crumb of sustenance to help make it through the next challenges, whether that's sleep training, baby's first cold, or teething. Each time that baby smiles, the mother remembers, I can do this, and it's worth it.

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Dayna M. Kurtz, LMSW, CPT a NYC-based psychotherapist and author of Mother Matters: A Holistic Guide to Being a Happy, Healthy Mom, says she sees this in her clinical practice.

"One mother I worked with recounted her experience of her baby's first smile. At eight weeks postpartum, exhausted and overwhelmed, she remembered her baby smiling broadly at her just before a nighttime feeding," Kurtz says. "In that moment, she was overcome by tremendous joy and relief, and felt, for the first time, a real connection to her son."

So what is it about a baby's smile that can affect a mother so deeply? Can it all be attributed to those new-mom hormones? Perhaps it stems from the survival instincts that connect an infant with its mother, or the infant learning social cues. Or is there something more going on inside our brains?

In 2008, scientists in Houston, TX published their research on the topic. Their study, "What's in a Smile? Maternal Brain Responses to Infant Facial Cues", takes data from the MRI images of 26 women as they observed images of infants smiling, crying, or with a neutral expression.

The images included the mother's own infant alternated with an unknown infant of similar ethnicity and in similar clothing and position. In each image, the baby displayed a different emotion through one of three facial expressions; happy, neutral, or sad. Researchers monitored the change in the mothers' brain activity through the transitions in images from own-infant to unknown-infant, and from happy to neutral to sad and vice versa.

The results?

"When first-time mothers see their own baby's face, an extensive brain network appears to be activated, wherein affective and cognitive information may be integrated and directed toward motor/behavioral outputs," wrote the study's authors. Seeing her infant smile or cry prompts the areas of the brain that would instigate a mother to act, whether it be to comfort, care for, or caress and play with the baby.

In addition, the authors found that reward-related brain regions are activated specifically in response to happy, but not sad, baby faces. The areas of the brain that lit up in their study are the same areas that release dopamine, the "pleasure chemical." For context, other activities that elicit dopamine surges include eating chocolate, having sex, or doing drugs. So in other words, a baby's smile may be as powerful as those other feel-good experiences.

And this gooey feeling moms may get from seeing their babies smile isn't just a recreational high—it serves a purpose.

This reward system (aka dopaminergic and oxytocinergic neuroendocrine system) exists to motivate the mother to forge a positive connection with the baby, according to Aurélie Athan, PhD, director of the Reproductive & Maternal Psychology Laboratory (a laboratory that created the first graduate courses of their kind in these subjects).

These networks also promote a mother's ability to share her emotional state with her child, which is the root of empathy. "A mother cries when baby cries, smiles when baby smiles," Athan says.

While there's a physiological explanation underlying that warm-and-fuzzy sensation elicited by a smile, there may be other factors at play too, Kurtz says.

"In my clinical practice, I often observe a stunning exchange between a mother and her baby when the latter smiles at her. A mother who is otherwise engaged in conversation with me may be, for that moment, entirely redirected to focus on her little one," Kurtz says. "This kind of attention-capturing on the part of the baby can enable and cultivate maternal attunement—a mother's ability to more deeply connect with her infant. The quality of attunement in early childhood often sets the stage for one's relationship patterns in the future."

Whether a physiological response, a neural activation, simple instinct, or the tightening of emotional connection, the feeling generated by babies' smiles is a buoy in the choppy ocean of new parenthood.

And while the first smile may be the most magical by virtue of its surprise and the necessity of that emotional lift, the fuzzy feeling can continue well into that baby's childhood and beyond. It keeps telling parents, you've got this!

[This was originally published on Apparently]

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Life

Chrissy Teigen just listed all the things she gets mom-shamed for online

Chrissy Teigen is one of the most famous moms in the world and definitely one of the most famous moms on social media.

She's the Queen of Twitter and at least the Duchess of Instagram but with a massive following comes a massive dose of mom-shame, and Teigen admits the online comments criticizing her parenting affects her.

"It's pretty much everything," Teigen told Today, noting that the bulk of the criticism falls into three categories: How she feeds her kids, how she uses her car seats and screen time.

"Any time I post a picture of them holding ribs or eating sausage, I get a lot of criticism," she explained. "Vegans and vegetarians are mad and feel that we're forcing meat upon them at a young age. They freak out."

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Teigen continues: "If they get a glimpse of the car seat there is a lot of buckle talk. Maybe for one half of a second, the strap slipped down. And TV is another big one. We have TV on a lot in my house. John and I work on television; we love watching television."

Teigen wants the shame to stop, not just for herself but for all the other moms who feel it. (And we agree.)

"Hearing that nine out of 10 moms don't feel like they're doing a good enough job is terrible," she said. "We're all so worried that we're not doing all that we can, when we really are."

The inspiration for Teigen talking publicly about mom-shame may be in part because of her participation in Pampers' "Share the Love" campaign. But even though Teigen's discussion coincides with this campaign, the message remains equally important. Advertising can be a powerful tool for shifting the way society thinks about what's "normal" and we would much rather see companies speaking out against mom-shame than inducing it to sell more stuff.

Calling out mom-shame in our culture is worth doing in our lives, our communities and yes, our diaper commercials. Thank you Chrissy (and thank you, Pampers).

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Dear mama of little kids: I promise it gets better

Dear fellow mama,

I was thinking about the past the other day. About the time I had three small boys—a newborn, his 2-year-old brother and his 5-year-old brother.

How I was always drowning.

How I could never catch my breath between the constant requests.

How I always felt guilty no matter how hard I tried.

How hard it was—the constant exhaustion, struggling to keep my home any kind of clean or tidy, how I struggled to feed my kids nutritious meals, to bathe them and clean them and keep them warmly dressed in clean clothing, to love them well or enough or well enough.

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Those years were some of the toughest years I have ever encountered.

But mama, I am here to tell you that it doesn't last forever. Slowly, incrementally, without you even noticing, it gets easier. First, one child is toilet trained, then the bigger one can tie his own shoelaces, then finally they are all sleeping through the night.

It's hard to imagine; I really really get it.

It is going to get easier. I swear it. I'm not saying that there won't be new parenting challenges, that it won't be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. It will be. But it will get easier.

These days, all of my kids get the bus to school and back. Most of them dress themselves. They can all eat independently and use the toilet. Sometimes they play with each other for hours leaving me time to do whatever I need to do that day.

I sleep through the night. I am not constantly in a haze of exhaustion. I am not overwhelmed by three tiny little people needing me to help them with their basic needs, all at the same time.

I can drink a hot cup of coffee. I do not wish with every fiber of my being that I was an octopus, able to help each tiny person at the same time.

I am not tugged in opposite directions. I don't have to disappoint my 3-year-old who desperately wants to play with me while I am helping his first grade bother with his first grade reading homework.

And one day, you will be here too.

It's going to get easier. I promise. And while it may not happen today or even next week or even next month, it will happen. And you will look around in wonder at the magnificent people you helped to create and nurture and sustain.

Until then, you are stronger and more resilient than you can even imagine.

You've got this. Today and always.

Love,

A fellow mama

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