Parenthood requires a lot of compromises. But when and with whom you want to become a parent shouldn’t be one of those compromises—which is something former Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman says she realized after splitting from Josh Murray.
Dorfman explains in a new interview with US Weekly that after splitting from fiancé Murray and moving to New York City in 2015, she realized she shouldn’t rush into having children because of that ominous biological clock.
So the New York Times best-selling author decided to freeze her eggs, enlisting the help of fellow Bachelor alum Whitney Bischoff, a fertility nurse based in Chicago.
“I always thought, ‘I’m not that old yet.’ Then, I was going to weddings and I realized just how single I am,” Dorfman says. “I can’t guarantee a husband, but by freezing my eggs, I can guarantee kids. It felt like a great way to take off the pressure. I mulled it over for a few months and then I was like, ‘I’m going to do this before I turn 30.’”
“I didn’t feel comfortable while it was happening,” Dorfman explains to US Weekly. “My way was writing about it. Some women feel great; I felt alone and had to come to grips with that. There are women who will feel the same way. It was necessary but not something to boast about.”
Egg freezing—also known as oocyte cryopreservation—does have its advantages. The procedure gives people the option of planning their family in a way that fits their lives.
For example, in addition to personal or social factors, a woman may preserve her eggs if she is about to undergo chemotherapy and knows the treatment will affect her fertility. Or she may go through with the procedure if she has an ovarian disease that could potentially damage her ovaries.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, 90% of retrieved eggs survive the freezing and thawing process, while about 70% become fertilized. Overall, about 55% of people become pregnant each time embryos are placed in their uterus—a result comparable to that of fresh eggs.
Dorfman’s feelings around egg freezing are understandable, though. Sometimes, you envision starting your family one way, but the reality turns out to be very different. Even if you choose to preserve your eggs for the future, that could still be a difficult decision to come to.
Still, as Dorfman notes, there’s also a certain strength and confidence that comes with that decision. “It’s scary to think I only have me to rely on,” she says. “But there’s something liberating about that.”