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We all experience the physical and emotional changes that accompany pregnancy and postpartum differently, including the impact these experiences have on body image, confidence and self-esteem.

You have permission to feel all the things you feel even when it means you're holding completely contradictory emotions all at once—what I call the "Paradoxes of Parenthood." For example, loving the new softness of your belly while your baby rests on it dreamily, yet still feeling frustrated that you're unable to button your old jeans. I know, I've been there!

Through the experiences of working with hundreds of pregnant and postpartum individuals (and being a postpartum mom myself), I've come to learn that the topic of healing the core can be emotionally charged. Your core changes dramatically in pregnancy and what many people don't know is that healing the postpartum core must be done with a gradual, methodical, and safe approach.

What really happens to your core post-baby

I'm often asked about diastasis recti (the medical name for abdominal separation) and believe that education is key when it comes to minimizing and rehabilitating this condition.

It helps to better understand how and why the abdominals separate. The linea alba is a thin sheath of muscle tissue that stretches along the front midline of the abdomen. Under pressure, such as during pregnancy, this muscle sheath stretches and instead of holding the abdominal muscles in close proximity as they typically would, the muscles give to accommodate the growing belly.

The research in this field is evolving, but we can glean a few things from what we know now:

  1. Most of us are affected by diastasis at some point in pregnancy.
  2. The body does "some amount" of healing on its own in the initial stages postpartum without any additional intervention.
  3. The body benefits from (and needs) our help (ie: exercise training and physical therapy) as there is a limit to the healing that naturally occurs.

I generally assume that all of my postpartum clients have some degree of separation. If you've had a baby, you should assume you do too.

How do you know if you have abdominal separation?

If you're curious, it's possible to check yourself for abdominal separation. The test involves placing your fingers above and then below your belly button while doing a small sit-up. If you can feel any bulging or separation between your fingers, then chances are, you have an abdominal separation.

If you try this at home and feel separation, please try not to worry! Find comfort knowing that this is very common and that there are strategies you can employ right away to facilitate the healing process.

Personally, I'd suggest asking a professional for a thorough assessment at the 6-10 week mark. You can ask your healthcare provider at your postpartum check-up, or can connect with a pre- and postnatal fitness specialist, or reach out to a women's health physical therapist.

Independent of your timeline postpartum, the priority is focusing on strengthening your pelvic floor and the deep abdominal muscles which lie under the rectus abdominis, or your "six-pack muscles." These deep muscles are known as the Transversus Abdominis (TVA).

Strengthening the abdominals after birth, and specifically the TVA and pelvic floor, is much like building a house. We begin by establishing a solid framework and foundation. By working on strengthening the deepest muscles first, then focusing on the more superficial layers when the body is ready, there's a greater likelihood that your abdominals will realign to their original structure and function.

This foundation provides the integrity necessary to keep up with the busyness of being a mom and allows you to return to higher intensity activities such as running, skiing, climbing, or heavy lifting.

How to start healing the core

Here are the top recommendations to begin the healing process and prevent the abdominal separation from getting worse:

1. Gently and regularly reconnect to your core in everyday life by working on your alignment. Your goal is to find "neutral" alignment as much as possible. In this position, you should notice your inner core muscles (TVA) as they gently flicker to life.

2. Utilize diaphragmatic breathing or "belly breathing" to further connect to the core. With practice, you can begin to strengthen the core with this simple breathing exercise.The practice is much more than simply bringing your belly button back toward your spine. This blog article does an excellent job explaining how to do this well utilizing a "wrapping motion."

3. Practice inhaling through the nose and actively breathe into the rib cage laterally—allowing belly to gently expand. On the exhale, practice actively drawing the belly back toward your body with a wrapping motion utilizing your TVA. You can imagining the rib cage knitting together side-to-side.




4. In forward leaning positions in which your abdominals experience additional pressure, such as hands and knees, bending from hips, hinging to lift a car seat or stroller, placing baby in a crib etc, utilize "bracing" for support. Bracing is a combination of good alignment with an exhale breath to hug belly back toward spine.

5. Practice log rolling instead of jack-knifing to sit up. To practice this, move to the side with your legs narrowed and push yourself out of bed from the side with a log-rolling action. Utilize support from your upper body while bracing with your core and breath.


6. Refrain from movements and actions that strain the abdominal wall or increase intra-abdominal pressure; i.e. straining, heavy lifting, intense torso rotations, full planking.

7. Avoid traditional abdominal exercises, like crunches, sit- ups and leg lifts. Instead, focus on corrective exercise that begin by strengthening the TVA first.

8. Be mindful of anything that makes belly bulge. You might notice this while attempting abdominal exercises, especially those that target the top layer of abdominal muscles, or those that are more challenging. Look for "doming" or "pooching" and back off if you see it as this is a sign that your core is not quite ready for the exercise you're attempting. Remember that your core is healing. We want to work on strengthening the inner layer of muscles first so we avoid continuing to stretch an already vulnerable and healing core.

9. Hands-on work in the form of massage and soft tissue strategies are proving to be effective and important. As the research continues to evolve, it's becoming more and more clear that "healing" diastasis requires a multi-disciplinary approach. So, reach out to a qualified Women's Health PT to ask about their experience using these modalities to help with healing.

10. Practice patience and connect with specialized professionals who have the skills to help you progress with safety and efficiency.The path to healing postpartum will look a little different for every mama, but these techniques are helpful in ensuring your core strengthens a little a time.

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There are few kids television shows as successful as PAW Patrol. The Spin Masters series has spawned countless toys and clothing deals, a live show and now, a movie.

That's right mama, PAW Patrol is coming to the big screen in 2021.

The big-screen version of PAW Patrol will be made with Nickelodeon Movies and will be distributed by Paramount Pictures.

"We are thrilled to partner with Paramount and Nickelodeon to bring the PAW Patrol franchise, and the characters that children love, to the big screen," Spin Master Entertainment's Executive Vice President, Jennifer Dodge, announced Friday.

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"This first foray into the arena of feature film marks a significant strategic expansion for Spin Master Entertainment and our properties. This demonstrates our commitment to harnessing our own internal entertainment production teams to develop and deliver IP in a motion picture format and allows us to connect our characters to fans through shared theatrical experiences," Dodge says.

No word on the plot yet, but we're gonna bet there's a problem, 'round Aventure Bay, and Ryder and his team of pups will come and save the day.

We cannot even imagine how excited little PAW Patrol fans will be when this hits theatres in 2021. It's still too early to buy advance tickets but we would if we could!

News

In the middle of that postpartum daze, the sleepless nights, the recovery, the adjustment to a new schedule and learning the cues of a new baby, there are those moments when a new mom might think, I don't know how long I can do this.

Fortunately, right around that time, newborns smile their first real smile.

For many mothers, the experience is heart-melting and soul-lifting. It's a crumb of sustenance to help make it through the next challenges, whether that's sleep training, baby's first cold, or teething. Each time that baby smiles, the mother remembers, I can do this, and it's worth it.

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Dayna M. Kurtz, LMSW, CPT a NYC-based psychotherapist and author of Mother Matters: A Holistic Guide to Being a Happy, Healthy Mom, says she sees this in her clinical practice.

"One mother I worked with recounted her experience of her baby's first smile. At eight weeks postpartum, exhausted and overwhelmed, she remembered her baby smiling broadly at her just before a nighttime feeding," Kurtz says. "In that moment, she was overcome by tremendous joy and relief, and felt, for the first time, a real connection to her son."

So what is it about a baby's smile that can affect a mother so deeply? Can it all be attributed to those new-mom hormones? Perhaps it stems from the survival instincts that connect an infant with its mother, or the infant learning social cues. Or is there something more going on inside our brains?

In 2008, scientists in Houston, TX published their research on the topic. Their study, "What's in a Smile? Maternal Brain Responses to Infant Facial Cues", takes data from the MRI images of 26 women as they observed images of infants smiling, crying, or with a neutral expression.

The images included the mother's own infant alternated with an unknown infant of similar ethnicity and in similar clothing and position. In each image, the baby displayed a different emotion through one of three facial expressions; happy, neutral, or sad. Researchers monitored the change in the mothers' brain activity through the transitions in images from own-infant to unknown-infant, and from happy to neutral to sad and vice versa.

The results?

"When first-time mothers see their own baby's face, an extensive brain network appears to be activated, wherein affective and cognitive information may be integrated and directed toward motor/behavioral outputs," wrote the study's authors. Seeing her infant smile or cry prompts the areas of the brain that would instigate a mother to act, whether it be to comfort, care for, or caress and play with the baby.

In addition, the authors found that reward-related brain regions are activated specifically in response to happy, but not sad, baby faces. The areas of the brain that lit up in their study are the same areas that release dopamine, the "pleasure chemical." For context, other activities that elicit dopamine surges include eating chocolate, having sex, or doing drugs. So in other words, a baby's smile may be as powerful as those other feel-good experiences.

And this gooey feeling moms may get from seeing their babies smile isn't just a recreational high—it serves a purpose.

This reward system (aka dopaminergic and oxytocinergic neuroendocrine system) exists to motivate the mother to forge a positive connection with the baby, according to Aurélie Athan, PhD, director of the Reproductive & Maternal Psychology Laboratory (a laboratory that created the first graduate courses of their kind in these subjects).

These networks also promote a mother's ability to share her emotional state with her child, which is the root of empathy. "A mother cries when baby cries, smiles when baby smiles," Athan says.

While there's a physiological explanation underlying that warm-and-fuzzy sensation elicited by a smile, there may be other factors at play too, Kurtz says.

"In my clinical practice, I often observe a stunning exchange between a mother and her baby when the latter smiles at her. A mother who is otherwise engaged in conversation with me may be, for that moment, entirely redirected to focus on her little one," Kurtz says. "This kind of attention-capturing on the part of the baby can enable and cultivate maternal attunement—a mother's ability to more deeply connect with her infant. The quality of attunement in early childhood often sets the stage for one's relationship patterns in the future."

Whether a physiological response, a neural activation, simple instinct, or the tightening of emotional connection, the feeling generated by babies' smiles is a buoy in the choppy ocean of new parenthood.

And while the first smile may be the most magical by virtue of its surprise and the necessity of that emotional lift, the fuzzy feeling can continue well into that baby's childhood and beyond. It keeps telling parents, you've got this!

[This was originally published on Apparently]

Life

Chrissy Teigen is one of the most famous moms in the world and definitely one of the most famous moms on social media.

She's the Queen of Twitter and at least the Duchess of Instagram but with a massive following comes a massive dose of mom-shame, and Teigen admits the online comments criticizing her parenting affects her.

"It's pretty much everything," Teigen told Today, noting that the bulk of the criticism falls into three categories: How she feeds her kids, how she uses her car seats and screen time.

"Any time I post a picture of them holding ribs or eating sausage, I get a lot of criticism," she explained. "Vegans and vegetarians are mad and feel that we're forcing meat upon them at a young age. They freak out."

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Teigen continues: "If they get a glimpse of the car seat there is a lot of buckle talk. Maybe for one half of a second, the strap slipped down. And TV is another big one. We have TV on a lot in my house. John and I work on television; we love watching television."

Teigen wants the shame to stop, not just for herself but for all the other moms who feel it. (And we agree.)

"Hearing that nine out of 10 moms don't feel like they're doing a good enough job is terrible," she said. "We're all so worried that we're not doing all that we can, when we really are."

The inspiration for Teigen talking publicly about mom-shame may be in part because of her participation in Pampers' "Share the Love" campaign. But even though Teigen's discussion coincides with this campaign, the message remains equally important. Advertising can be a powerful tool for shifting the way society thinks about what's "normal" and we would much rather see companies speaking out against mom-shame than inducing it to sell more stuff.

Calling out mom-shame in our culture is worth doing in our lives, our communities and yes, our diaper commercials. Thank you Chrissy (and thank you, Pampers).

News

Dear fellow mama,

I was thinking about the past the other day. About the time I had three small boys—a newborn, his 2-year-old brother and his 5-year-old brother.

How I was always drowning.

How I could never catch my breath between the constant requests.

How I always felt guilty no matter how hard I tried.

How hard it was—the constant exhaustion, struggling to keep my home any kind of clean or tidy, how I struggled to feed my kids nutritious meals, to bathe them and clean them and keep them warmly dressed in clean clothing, to love them well or enough or well enough.

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Those years were some of the toughest years I have ever encountered.

But mama, I am here to tell you that it doesn't last forever. Slowly, incrementally, without you even noticing, it gets easier. First, one child is toilet trained, then the bigger one can tie his own shoelaces, then finally they are all sleeping through the night.

It's hard to imagine; I really really get it.

It is going to get easier. I swear it. I'm not saying that there won't be new parenting challenges, that it won't be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life. It will be. But it will get easier.

These days, all of my kids get the bus to school and back. Most of them dress themselves. They can all eat independently and use the toilet. Sometimes they play with each other for hours leaving me time to do whatever I need to do that day.

I sleep through the night. I am not constantly in a haze of exhaustion. I am not overwhelmed by three tiny little people needing me to help them with their basic needs, all at the same time.

I can drink a hot cup of coffee. I do not wish with every fiber of my being that I was an octopus, able to help each tiny person at the same time.

I am not tugged in opposite directions. I don't have to disappoint my 3-year-old who desperately wants to play with me while I am helping his first grade bother with his first grade reading homework.

And one day, you will be here too.

It's going to get easier. I promise. And while it may not happen today or even next week or even next month, it will happen. And you will look around in wonder at the magnificent people you helped to create and nurture and sustain.

Until then, you are stronger and more resilient than you can even imagine.

You've got this. Today and always.

Love,

A fellow mama

Life
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