Since going public with her relationship with Travis Barker, people have endlessly speculated on the status of Kourtney Kardashian‘s womb. And she’s over it.

It seems like every time she posts a photo where her stomach is even slightly visible, Instagram commenters freely and publicly ask Kourtney if she’s pregnant.

In her latest Instagram post, Kourtney is seen posing in the middle of a pool. The caption is simply a purple heart, presumably to match her purple bathing suit. Nowhere in the image or the caption is there a pregnancy announcement or invitation for people to ask her if she’s with child.

One commenter still wrote, “Not to be that girl but…is that a preg belly.” Which, SIGH. But Kourtney herself responded and shut it right down.

“Are we really gonna do this every time I post a photo?”

Guys. GUYS. We have to stop doing this. It is pretty much never OK to ask someone if they’re pregnant unless you’re, like, 110% sure that they are, in fact, carrying a child. Yes, Kourtney has three children and has always been forthcoming in how much she loves being a mom. That doesn’t mean we can assume she’s ready to procreate again and we should ask her about it.

We do not comment on other people’s bodies.
We do tread lightly and respectfully on the subject of pregnancy and fertility. Always.

This isn’t even just about Kourtney. SO MANY women out there have been asked this question—by total strangers in the grocery store, by well-intentioned relatives, by friends, etc. And if you’re not pregnant, well, it can make you feel pretty bad about yourself. If you’re trying to get pregnant, it can make you feel pretty bad about yourself. If you are pregnant, it can still make you feel bad about yourself, or at least insecure, depending on your relationship with your body.

In short, a good rule of thumb would be to wait for someone to tell you they’re pregnant before saying anything. And even then, BE KIND.