I don't know what it is, but every single time I leave my husband with our seven children, I have to remind him repeatedly of all of the things he needs to be concerned about regarding our children's safety.

"Make sure our daughter doesn't climb the stairs" and "Make sure our son doesn't sneak outside to the front yard" are just a few of the many phrases I say over and over again upon leaving the house.

My gentle reminders are so frequent that my husband responds the same way almost every time: “Evie, I am a capable father." He then proceeds to give me a look, which includes a raised eyebrow and an expression of annoyance.


But I can't stop hounding him about the security of our children when I leave. It is not because I don't trust him or think he is too relaxed in his parenting. Nor do I think he is inattentive and unaware. It is because my brain is constantly buzzing with the well-being and safety of my children, especially my 1-year-old. My goal in life is just to keep her safe. I have to keep her out of the street, make sure she doesn't climb the stairs, put some foreign object in her mouth or drink toilet water. When she is awake, I am full-gear in ensuring her survival.

My husband, however, is more at ease when it comes to parenting. It doesn't mean that his way is bad or he is lazy. It just means that he is more chill and less anxious than I am.

And, it is not necessarily a bad thing; it is just different than my way.

On the plus side, our personality types balance each other out to become a well-rounded parenting approach. My husband is the one I call when I have to make an unexpected visit to the emergency room. He is my anchor during times of fear, like the one time where we both accidentally left our then 8-year-old daughter at the park (in the evening when it was dark), and went all the way home, which was about 20 minutes away. (Yes, these things happen to the best of us!) Or the time my son cracked his head open down to the bone and required six stitches.

He was the calm, mellow one, while I was panic stricken.

So when I kiss my kids goodbye and go out for coffee with friends, or do some kind of market research study to earn extra income for our family and I experience unrest from all of the things that could go wrong... In that moment, I have to remind myself that my husband is such a good daddy and I trust that he will do a good job of watching our children, even though it may not be the way that I would do it.

I have to to take a deep breath—and instead of focusing on fear, remember the fact that he is a capable father.

It may have been hard to imagine just a few weeks ago, but life with your baby is probably starting to feel like the new normal. From establishing sweet rituals throughout the day to finding ways to carve out that all-important time for yourself, you are really doing great, mama!

Your baby is also getting the hang of life on the outside, too. Especially if you two waged a battle against colic together, this is the point where you are probably claiming victory, which means interactions are getting all that much sweeter. As your baby feels more comfortable with their new world, you will probably notice that some new routines are falling into place, which makes this a good time to reinforce some healthy habits around nap time and bedtime.

With more reliable sleep schedules, you two might also have more energy to take on some stimulating at-home activities. If returning to work is also on the radar, whether in a home office or in a workplace, you might be wondering how you will balance it all. Trust us when we say that you can and will figure it out, just like millions of mamas and babies before you. Thankfully, you can also learn some of the best tips and tricks from them, too.

As you continue to settle into this exciting phase, here are some of our 3-month essentials for you and baby:

To takealong a favorite toy anywhere: Infantino Playtime Pal

Infantino Play Toy

Now that your baby is awake for longer stretches of time, a tactile toy can help keep their focus while you cross tasks off the list around the house.


To keep organized: GO by Goldbug stroller organizer

stroller organizer

Why is it that blow-out diapers happen at the worst times?! Keep everything you need organized and within reach with a stroller organizer so you don't spend precious time searching for the wipes.


To bottle-feed with ease: Dr. Brown’s bottle set

Dr. Browns

Cleaning bottles can feel like a part-time job, so make it as simple as possible for yourself with a set that is easy to clean. (A bottle-specific brush helps, too!)


To offer tummy-friendly formula: Up&Up gentle formula

Babies often arrive in this world with mighty sensitive stomachs. If you are formula or combo-feeding, finding an option you both feel good about can do wonders.


To entertain your mini Mozart: Baby Einstein ocean orchestra

baby einstein

Piano lessons might still be years in the future, but it's never too soon to start fostering your baby's music appreciation! By stimulating multiple senses during playtime, research shows babies experience even stronger cognitive benefits.


To simplify pumping breaks: Spectra breast pump

breast pump

Whether you are going back to a job outside the home or simply want to help your baby get comfortable with an occasional bottle, breastfeeding mamas are going to want a workhorse pump that makes those pumping sessions as easy as possible.


To keep breakfast simple: KIND breakfast bars

Kind bars

Gone are the days of taking your time to get ready in the morning. Make sure you always have breakfast covered with a supply of nutritious bars you can eat while multitasking.


To get past the midday slump: Keurig k-mini single serve


Unfortunately, multiple wake-ups during the night doesn't mean you'll get to sleep in longer. If the alarm went off too early, it can help to have a midday coffee break (or two).


To protect your lobes from a grabby baby: A New Day stud earrings

New Day earrings

If dangling earrings are suddenly feeling like quite a hazard in the proximity of a handsy baby, swap them out for some stylish new studs. Your ears will thank you!


To manage your day: The Time Factory mom life planner

mom life planner

Show mom brain who is boss by keeping all of your tasks and commitments together in one place. Now you'll know exactly what you're supposed to do on any given day.


This article was sponsored by Target. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

Our Partners

How often do we see a "misbehaving" child and think to ourselves, that kid needs more discipline? How often do we look at our own misbehaving child and think the same thing?

Our society is conditioned to believe that we have to be strict and stern with our kids, or threaten, shame or punish them into behaving. This authoritarian style of parenting is characterized by high expectations and low responsiveness—a tough love approach.

But while this type of authoritarian parenting may elicit "obedient" kids in the short-term, studies suggest that children who are shamed or punished in the name of discipline face challenges in the long-term. Research suggests that children who are harshly disciplined or shamed tend to be less happy, less independent, less confident, less resilient, more aggressive and hostile, more fearful and at higher risk for substance abuse and mental health issues as adults and adolescents.


The reason? No one ever changes from being shamed.

Keep reading Show less
Learn + Play