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My husband parents totally different from me

I don't know what it is, but every single time I leave my husband with our seven children, I have to remind him repeatedly of all of the things he needs to be concerned about regarding our children's safety.

"Make sure our daughter doesn't climb the stairs" and "Make sure our son doesn't sneak outside to the front yard" are just a few of the many phrases I say over and over again upon leaving the house.

My gentle reminders are so frequent that my husband responds the same way almost every time: “Evie, I am a capable father." He then proceeds to give me a look, which includes a raised eyebrow and an expression of annoyance.


But I can't stop hounding him about the security of our children when I leave. It is not because I don't trust him or think he is too relaxed in his parenting. Nor do I think he is inattentive and unaware. It is because my brain is constantly buzzing with the well-being and safety of my children, especially my 1-year-old. My goal in life is just to keep her safe. I have to keep her out of the street, make sure she doesn't climb the stairs, put some foreign object in her mouth or drink toilet water. When she is awake, I am full-gear in ensuring her survival.

My husband, however, is more at ease when it comes to parenting. It doesn't mean that his way is bad or he is lazy. It just means that he is more chill and less anxious than I am.

And, it is not necessarily a bad thing; it is just different than my way.

On the plus side, our personality types balance each other out to become a well-rounded parenting approach. My husband is the one I call when I have to make an unexpected visit to the emergency room. He is my anchor during times of fear, like the one time where we both accidentally left our then 8-year-old daughter at the park (in the evening when it was dark), and went all the way home, which was about 20 minutes away. (Yes, these things happen to the best of us!) Or the time my son cracked his head open down to the bone and required six stitches.

He was the calm, mellow one, while I was panic stricken.

So when I kiss my kids goodbye and go out for coffee with friends, or do some kind of market research study to earn extra income for our family and I experience unrest from all of the things that could go wrong... In that moment, I have to remind myself that my husband is such a good daddy and I trust that he will do a good job of watching our children, even though it may not be the way that I would do it.

I have to to take a deep breath—and instead of focusing on fear, remember the fact that he is a capable father.

10 must-have registry items that will change your life, mama

The baby gear heavy hitters that should be top of your list

Calling all mamas-to-be! It's a fundamental truth of (impending) motherhood that your prepping-for-baby To Do list can feel a mile long, but really the best way to feel organized is to sort out the most important item at the top of your list: your registry. Sure the items you choose to include will end up running the gamut from nice-to-haves to absolutely essential game-changers, but mamas in the know quickly learn one thing: Not all baby gear is created equal.

So while you can and should pepper your registry with adorable inclusions that aren't necessarily can't-live-withouts (go ahead, add 'em!), you should make sure you're ticking the boxes on those pieces of baby gear that can be absolute life savers once you're in full-blown mama mode. From car seats to bouncers and playmats, your play and travel gear will be some of the most obvious important items on your list, but so can unexpected things, like a super comfy baby carrier and a snooze-inducing white noise machine. So to help you sort through the must-have options, we turned to the holy grail of motherhood that is buybuy BABY and handpicked 10 of the very best essential pieces that will change your life, we promise.

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Our Partners

Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Earth Mama: Effective, natural herbal care for mamas and babies

Founded and grown in her own garage in 2002, Earth Mama started as an operation of one, creating salves, tinctures, teas and soaps with homegrown herbs. With a deep desire to bring the healing powers of nature that have been relied on for thousands of years to as many mamas as possible, Melinda Olson's formulas quickly grew into Earth Mama Organics. Since then, the brand has remained committed to manufacturing clean, safe and effective herbal solutions for the entire journey of motherhood, including pregnancy, breastfeeding and baby care, and even the loss of a baby.

Bravado Designs: Soothing sounds for a good night's sleep

With 28 years of serving pregnant and postpartum mamas under their belt, Bravado Designs is a true authority on the needs of changing bodies. It's true that we have them to thank for rescuing us from the uncomfortable and frumpy designs our own moms had to live with. Launched in Canada by two young mamas, they designed the first prototypes with extra leopard print fabric certain that a better bra was possible. Throughout the years they've maintained their commitment to ethical manufacturing while creating long-lasting products that truly work.

The Sill: Instagram-ready potted plants

We've long admired this female-founded brand and the brilliant mind behind it, Eliza Blank. (She even joined Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety on and episode of The Motherly Podcast!) The mission behind the business was simple: To make the process of bringing plants into your home as easy as possible, and as wonderful as the plant themselves. With their in-house, exclusively designed minimalist planters, the end result makes plant parenthood just a few clicks away.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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10 photos to take on baby’s first day that you'll cherish forever

You'll obsess over these newborn baby pictures.

Bethany Menzel: Instagram + Blog

As you're preparing for baby's birth, we bet you're dreaming of all of the amazing photos you'll take of your precious new babe. As a professional photographer and mama, I have some tips for newborn photos you'll want to capture.

Here are the 10 photos you will want to take on baby's first day.

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