Motherhood makes us stronger, therefore that comeback will be full of strength, passion and beauty.
I love the watching the Grammy’s—it is one of my favorite award shows. I love the music and adore the fashion.
So when I sat down with a bowl of popcorn to enjoy my annual night of awesomeness I did not expect to find myself crying like baby. Adele’s 2017 acceptance speech for Album of the year was incredible. She was authentic and real when she told the world she felt like she had lost herself when she became a mother.
A Grammy winning, angel singing, gorgeous rockstar lost a bit of herself to motherhood. I immediately related with her and couldn’t help but cry. Here she was with a Grammy in hand proving how great a comeback after motherhood could be.
5 years ago I lost myself, too.
I was a first time mom and consumed with everything baby.
I checked feeding schedules, pumped to encourage supply, knew all the stages of poop and I put myself on the back burner.
This was a far cry from the girl I was before I became mom. I used to be outgoing and funny. I was living in Italy traveling as much as I could. I was working with fun great people and spending my Sundays in Venice with my husband talking about art and architecture. And then. . .
It almost a year into motherhood until I realized what was happening. I was wearing a sweater covered in spit up, couldn’t remember the last day I showered and hadn’t left the house in a few days. I stood there, for a solid minute just looking at myself in the mirror.
I still remember saying, “What happened to me?”
That night I asked my husband if he noticed a difference. He said one thing that brought me right out of my motherhood fog. “I miss you,” he said.
Before baby, I had been to be laid back and easy going and all of sudden I became unforgiving and dictatorial about how to properly clean a bottle.
“I miss me too,” I confessed to him—with a deep sense of commitment to finding the new me.
That weekend I started small. I packed my carrier, showered and left the house. We headed to the train and showed our little bambina Venice, Italy. I felt accomplished by not talking about diapers for a whole day. I came home from that day trip feeling better and with a little spring in my step.
So, from that day on I actively tried to figure out what kind of mom I wanted to be—rather than letting motherhood be something that just happened to me.
Mother is always evolving because kids are always growing and as soon as you get use to one thing, life changes. But I am making a conscious effort to include the things I love into my motherhood style. I also give myself grace for when I fall into losing myself to motherhood here and there.
If you’re like me and relate to Adele losing herself to motherhood, know that the new you can be just a fresh perspective—a new horizon—away.
Motherhood changes our lives, but it doesn’t have to take our lives from us.
If Adele can lose herself despite her global career than it can truly happen to anyone.
So my hope is this: That all of us moms who have lost ourselves to motherhood can get a Grammy worthy comeback.
Remember—Motherhood makes us stronger, therefore that comeback will be full of strength, passion and beauty.
If you find yourself not able to recognize that girl in the mirror, remember that she’s still in there. You are the only one who can find her again. Take a deep breath and start your comeback today. You will like the new you, I’m sure of it.