Yes, I’m pregnant and showing, but please don't comment on my body

It's an unwritten rule for a good reason: Never ask a person if they are pregnant. Just don't.

pregnancy is weird


Pregnancy is a wonderful and joyous time. But if I'm being honest, it's also super weird. Your body is changing constantly and you're navigating into unknown territory on the regular. You can go to sleep one day and wake up in a completely new body the next. What is this new ache and pain? Did my boobs look like that yesterday? Did I finally "pop"? It's strange.

For me, as for many expecting moms, it was a relief when I finally started to show, beyond looking like I just ate a big meal. Those weeks of exhaustion, food aversions, nauseousness and crazy emotions were finally resulting in something I could physically show off. My body had been working hard on the inside and now my outside had finally caught up.


Around 20 weeks, I couldn't exactly hide my pregnant belly anymore. If you were close to me, you could definitely tell. If you didn't know me, you could definitely assume.

But why, now that I had a cute little baby bump to showcase to the world, did it feel so weird?

I felt like I'd been keeping a secret that I'd accidentally let slip. I had already told my coworkers the news, but I felt so awkward when talking with acquaintances: Should I tell them or not? Do they already know? Do they think I've just put on a few pounds... all in my stomach?

Then it hit me. It all felt so weird because I felt weird. For the first time in my life, my body was not my own. I was now sharing it with a teeny, tiny tenant and everything was changing. My body, my emotions, my life, all of it. It'd be stranger if I didn't feel weird about it all.

While I'm excited to meet my son, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin right now—and honestly, I don't think that's going to go away.

This is new and unknown and strange, but I'm comfortable with the fact that I feel uncomfortable. This is my new normal. Or at least it is for nine months.

Recently, as my bump started to make its full-time debut, I made the decision to wear a form-fitting shirt to work. It was a bold move on my part. I didn't feel like myself in my new body, but I was doing my best to embrace the new me.

When I got into the elevator to leave for the day, a gentleman I'd had friendly chit-chat with also got into the elevator. A few seconds into our very short ride, he turned me and said, "My wife told me I'm not supposed to ask this, but congratulations?"

The man should have listened to his wife. I politely said thank you and flashed a brief-but-fake smile before making a quick exit. While I know he meant well, it made me feel more awkward and uncomfortable than I already did after sitting at my desk for eight hours with my belly squished and my back aching.

It's an unwritten rule of pregnancy for a very good reason: Don't ask about someone's pregnancy unless the pregnant woman brings it up first. Plain and simple. If we're not bringing it up, we probably don't want to talk about it.

Please don't make the assumption that just because I'm showing I want to talk about my pregnancy. Please don't ask me if I'm pregnant if you're pretty sure that I am. Please don't make me feel even weirder about my current state than I already do.

While we are pregnant and our bodies are hard at work while we're working on ourselves, at the end of the day we are normal. Please treat us like normal people. Ask me about the weather or what my weekend plans are like you would anyone else.

And I'm asking, nay begging, please don't comment on my body. I have enough comments running through my head for the both of us.

In This Article

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    Flexible schedules mean more vacation options. 🙌

    Looking back now, last winter feels like a lifetime ago. At the time, my husband and I were eagerly planning our summer vacation just as we've done in years past. You know how the next part goes: COVID-19 came into the picture and changed our plans not only for vacationing, but for so much else in life.

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    Of course, that isn't to say that travel is the carefree adventure it once was. With COVID-19 still a very big part of the equation, we've become much more diligent about planning trips that allow for social distancing and exceed cleanliness standards. That's why we've exclusively turned to Vrbo, which helps us find nearby accommodations that meet our new criteria. Better yet?

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    Flexible schedules allow us to mix work + play.

    After months of lockdown, my family was definitely itching for a change of scenery as the summer began. By looking at drivable destinations with a fresh set of eyes—and some helpful accommodation-finding filters on Vrbo—we were able to find private houses that meet our needs. (Like comfortably fitting our family of five without anyone having to sleep on a pull-out couch!)

    With space to spread out and feel like a home away from home, we quickly realized that we didn't need to limit our getaways to the weekends—instead we could take a "Flexcation," a trip that allows us to mix work and play. Thanks to the ability to work remotely and our kids' distance-learning schedule for the fall, we're planning a mid-week trip next month that will allow us to explore a new destination after clocking out for the day.

    We’re embracing off-season deals.

    With Labor Day no longer marking the end of our vacationing season, we're able to take advantage of nearby getaways that mark down their rates during the off season. For us in the Mountain West, that means visiting ski-town destinations when the leaves are falling rather than the snow. By saving money on that front, we're able to splurge a bit with our accommodations—so you can bet I search for houses that include a private hot tub for soaking in while enjoying the mountain views!

    Vacationing is a way to give back.

    If we've learned one thing this year, it's that life can change pretty quickly. That's given us a new appreciation for generous cancellation policies and transparent cleaning guidelines when booking trips. By seeing both of these things front and center in Vrbo listings along with reviews from fellow travelers, I feel confident when I hit the "book now" button.

    Beyond that, I know that booking a trip through Vrbo isn't only a gift to my family. On the other side of the transaction, there are vacation home owners and property managers who appreciate the income during these uncertain times. What's more, taking getaways allows us to support our local economy—even if it's just by ordering new takeout food to enjoy from our home away from home.

    While "looking ahead" doesn't feel as easy as it once did, I am confident that there will be a lot of drivable getaways in our future.

    This article was sponsored by Vrbo. Thank you for supporting the brands that support Motherly and mamas.

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