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Tired mama: Believe the people who say they want to help

When we say no to help from our friends, we are robbing them of their happiness. And let’s be honest, we are robbing ourselves of some much-needed help.

Tired mama: Believe the people who say they want to help

So, there’s this thing that moms tend to do: We try to be super moms.


There are some days where I totally feel like a super mom. OK, I’ll give myself some credit: There are plenty of days where I totally am a super mom.

I get the grocery shopping and errands done, the laundry gets folded and put away, I get my blogging done for the week, we have a photoshoot AND I have dinner ready before Frank gets home. Oh yeah, and I do all of that while chasing around my toddler. (Can I please still call her a baby?)

That, right there, is me giving myself credit for all of the hard work I do. That is me giving myself credit for being a super mom.

… Some days.

And then there are the days where I totally can’t get anything done and I feel far from a super mom. There are plenty of those days too, let me tell you. On these days, I need help. I need a friend to watch Ava while I run errands, I need someone to bring me a home cooked meal and I need someone to do my laundry for me.

Wishful thinking, huh?

You know if you really think about it, it’s not that wishful. I have so many friends who would be more than happy to offer any of that to me if I needed it. I have so many friends who are willing to offer help.

But here’s the catch: If any of my friends offered to wash my dishes on a rough day or watch Ava for a couple of hours while I got some work done, you'd better bet I’d say no.

I really NEED the help some days—but there is no way in the world I would accept it. I feel bad, I haven’t done that for them before so I really shouldn't accept and most of all, I’m supposed to have it all together.

I’m supposed to be a super mom.

Now, I am not going to take credit for this lesson, as it’s a lesson I learned from one of the most amazing woman I know. And it's a lesson I just had to pass on to all of you because it’s something all moms need to hear. It’s something all moms need dearly in our lives.

When we say no to help from our friends, we are robbing them of their happiness. And let's be honest, we are robbing ourselves of some much-needed help.

Think about it: Nothing brings us more joy than doing favors for our friends. Babysitting, cooking dinner, sending flowers or anything that shows someone I am there to help them brings so much happiness into my life. Being helpful and being kind gives me a total high—it makes me feel pretty amazing. But, if I offer to help and my offer is denied, that happiness is taken from me.

Just think about that for a second.

While we may be super moms some days, we are always going to have days where we can’t do it all. We can’t juggle it all. We need help.

And if help is offered, we need to learn to accept it with grace. Not only does this make our lives easier as moms, but it enables that happiness to fill some else's life, too.

10 must-have registry items that will change your life, mama

The baby gear heavy hitters that should be top of your list

Calling all mamas-to-be! It's a fundamental truth of (impending) motherhood that your prepping-for-baby To Do list can feel a mile long, but really the best way to feel organized is to sort out the most important item at the top of your list: your registry. Sure the items you choose to include will end up running the gamut from nice-to-haves to absolutely essential game-changers, but mamas in the know quickly learn one thing: Not all baby gear is created equal.

So while you can and should pepper your registry with adorable inclusions that aren't necessarily can't-live-withouts (go ahead, add 'em!), you should make sure you're ticking the boxes on those pieces of baby gear that can be absolute life savers once you're in full-blown mama mode. From car seats to bouncers and playmats, your play and travel gear will be some of the most obvious important items on your list, but so can unexpected things, like a super comfy baby carrier and a snooze-inducing white noise machine. So to help you sort through the must-have options, we turned to the holy grail of motherhood that is buybuy BABY and handpicked 10 of the very best essential pieces that will change your life, we promise.

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Our Partners

Every week, we stock the Motherly Shop with innovative and fresh products from brands we feel good about. We want to be certain you don't miss anything, so to keep you in the loop, we're providing a cheat sheet.

So, what's new this week?

Earth Mama: Effective, natural herbal care for mamas and babies

Founded and grown in her own garage in 2002, Earth Mama started as an operation of one, creating salves, tinctures, teas and soaps with homegrown herbs. With a deep desire to bring the healing powers of nature that have been relied on for thousands of years to as many mamas as possible, Melinda Olson's formulas quickly grew into Earth Mama Organics. Since then, the brand has remained committed to manufacturing clean, safe and effective herbal solutions for the entire journey of motherhood, including pregnancy, breastfeeding and baby care, and even the loss of a baby.

Bravado Designs: Soothing sounds for a good night's sleep

With 28 years of serving pregnant and postpartum mamas under their belt, Bravado Designs is a true authority on the needs of changing bodies. It's true that we have them to thank for rescuing us from the uncomfortable and frumpy designs our own moms had to live with. Launched in Canada by two young mamas, they designed the first prototypes with extra leopard print fabric certain that a better bra was possible. Throughout the years they've maintained their commitment to ethical manufacturing while creating long-lasting products that truly work.

The Sill: Instagram-ready potted plants

We've long admired this female-founded brand and the brilliant mind behind it, Eliza Blank. (She even joined Motherly co-founder Liz Tenety on and episode of The Motherly Podcast!) The mission behind the business was simple: To make the process of bringing plants into your home as easy as possible, and as wonderful as the plant themselves. With their in-house, exclusively designed minimalist planters, the end result makes plant parenthood just a few clicks away.

Not sure where to start? Here's what we're adding to our cart:

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Chrissy Teigen accidentally revealed her baby’s gender while on bedrest 😮

Chrissy let out a major secret about her third pregnancy! Do you think it's a baby boy or a baby girl? :heartpulse::blue_heart:

In August, Chrissy Teigen and John Legend announced that they were expecting baby number three. They shared their news with the world in the release of Legend's beautiful new music video, Wild.

Baby number three will be joining older sister, 4-year-old Luna, and older brother, 2-year-old Miles, in what seems like an enormously fun family to be a part of! Luna and Miles were conceived via IVF, so the family was thrilled to learn that they were pregnant again—because this third pregnancy was a total surprise (and honestly, the boost we all needed in 2020)!

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